borrowed jokes from my favorite little 15 year old bass player, she is such a sweetie!
Q: How many rock bassists does it take to change a
lightbulb?
A: No one ever bothered to notice!
Q: How many acoustic bassists does it take to screw in
a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to do the job and another to complain that
it's electric.
Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light
bulb?
A: One, but the guitar player has to show him how to do
it.
Q: What's the range of a fretless six string?
A: 20 yards if you have a good arm
Q: Whats the definition of perfect pitch?
A: Tossing a Hondo bass into a dumpster from 40 feet without hitting the sides
Did you hear about the bassist who was so out of tune the audience noticed?
Q: How do you know a bass player is at your door?
A: Who cares?
Q: How do you get a bass player off your doorstep?
A: Pay for the pizza.
Son: "Daddy, I want to grow up and be a bass player."
Father: "Son, you can't have it both ways."
Q: Why are there four strings on a bass?
A: Three are spares.
Q: What do you call a bassist with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
As a birthday gift a father decided to get his son a bass
guitar and some lessons. After the first lesson the boy's
father asked him how his lesson went: "It went great
Dad, I learned to play on the first 5 frets on the top
string!" The father applauded his son's efforts. The next
week his father asked about the second lesson: "It was
great Dad, today i learned to play the first 5 frets on
the second string!" His father once again applauded his
son. The next week his father again asked about his
lesson. "I'm sorry Dad, I blew it off... I had a gig!"
and of course, we can't forget my personal favorite one!!!!!! (came up with this one a couple years ago hehehehe)
How do you keep a bass player busy????
click here for the answer