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  #1  
Old 06-13-2002, 03:45 PM
littlegreenman littlegreenman is offline
 
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a thread for the bass player,


borrowed jokes from my favorite little 15 year old bass player, she is such a sweetie!


Q: How many rock bassists does it take to change a
lightbulb?
A: No one ever bothered to notice!

Q: How many acoustic bassists does it take to screw in
a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to do the job and another to complain that
it's electric.

Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light
bulb?
A: One, but the guitar player has to show him how to do
it.


Q: What's the range of a fretless six string?
A: 20 yards if you have a good arm


Q: Whats the definition of perfect pitch?
A: Tossing a Hondo bass into a dumpster from 40 feet without hitting the sides

Did you hear about the bassist who was so out of tune the audience noticed?

Q: How do you know a bass player is at your door?
A: Who cares?

Q: How do you get a bass player off your doorstep?
A: Pay for the pizza.



Son: "Daddy, I want to grow up and be a bass player."
Father: "Son, you can't have it both ways."

Q: Why are there four strings on a bass?
A: Three are spares.


Q: What do you call a bassist with half a brain?
A: Gifted.


As a birthday gift a father decided to get his son a bass
guitar and some lessons. After the first lesson the boy's
father asked him how his lesson went: "It went great
Dad, I learned to play on the first 5 frets on the top
string!" The father applauded his son's efforts. The next
week his father asked about the second lesson: "It was
great Dad, today i learned to play the first 5 frets on
the second string!" His father once again applauded his
son. The next week his father again asked about his
lesson. "I'm sorry Dad, I blew it off... I had a gig!"



and of course, we can't forget my personal favorite one!!!!!! (came up with this one a couple years ago hehehehe)

How do you keep a bass player busy????
click here for the answer
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  #2  
Old 06-13-2002, 03:54 PM
bammbamm bammbamm is offline
 
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And you missed my favorite and truest that I have seen:
What do you call a bass player with no girlfriend?

HOMELESS ! ! !



Bamm
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  #3  
Old 06-13-2002, 07:05 PM
Two hands31 Two hands31 is offline
 
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Adapted from a drummer joke:

"What happened when the musician's locked their keys in the car?"
"They couldn't get the bassist out for 2 hours."
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  #4  
Old 06-14-2002, 03:17 AM
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ScottB ScottB is offline
 
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One of my favorites about musicians in general:

What does a stripper do with her a$$hole before going to the strip joint for the evening?

She drops him off at band practice.
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  #5  
Old 01-31-2005, 05:36 PM
tomizm tomizm is offline
 
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Re: a thread for the bass player,


Good thing I have a sense of humor. Actually, I consider my self a failed guitarist turned bass player, so like Billy Sheehan, Im known to play the bass like a guitar at times.
I seem to be a local favorite

Tom
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  #6  
Old 02-01-2005, 12:42 PM
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jim777 jim777 is offline
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Re: a thread for the bass player,


pay for the pizza LOL
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  #7  
Old 02-01-2005, 01:30 PM
littlegreenman littlegreenman is offline
 
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Re: a thread for the bass player,


Man, this thread got dug up bigtime LOL
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  #8  
Old 02-01-2005, 01:40 PM
whatshisname whatshisname is offline
 
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Re: a thread for the bass player,


That's okay, now I have even MORE jokes for my bassist!
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  #9  
Old 02-01-2005, 04:37 PM
LonePhantom LonePhantom is offline
 
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Re: a thread for the bass player,


it's cool, I hadn't seen this, and my drummer appreciated it a lot cause it wasn't him that was copping the jokes for once!!!!
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  #10  
Old 02-02-2005, 01:15 AM
jay ratkowski jay ratkowski is offline
 
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Re: a thread for the bass player,


All you guitarists wouldn't have such lame basslines if you played more than power chords! :P
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  #11  
Old 02-02-2005, 04:51 PM
LonePhantom LonePhantom is offline
 
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Re: a thread for the bass player,


Quote:
Originally Posted by jay ratkowski
All you guitarists wouldn't have such lame basslines if you played more than power chords! :P
Ouch!
Maybe we're being held back by the bass player so all we can do is play power chords so they can keep up!!
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  #12  
Old 02-04-2005, 02:37 PM
jay ratkowski jay ratkowski is offline
 
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Re: a thread for the bass player,


Sure, blame someone else because you never got past page 6 in the Mel Bay guide to Rock Guitar!

PS - are you suggesting that a guitarist and/or singer should let the bassist contribute in writing songs? That will happen about as soon as Glen telling Kevan and Rich that they are both right about something.
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  #13  
Old 02-06-2005, 04:46 PM
LonePhantom LonePhantom is offline
 
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Re: a thread for the bass player,


Quote:
Originally Posted by jay ratkowski
Sure, blame someone else because you never got past page 6 in the Mel Bay guide to Rock Guitar!

PS - are you suggesting that a guitarist and/or singer should let the bassist contribute in writing songs? That will happen about as soon as Glen telling Kevan and Rich that they are both right about something.
Page 6?? Rock guitar poses??? I never even got past that point!!!!!

I let the bass player contribute in writing songs sometimes..... when he finally writes something decent!!!

/me jokes
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  #14  
Old 02-04-2005, 02:38 PM
jay ratkowski jay ratkowski is offline
 
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Re: a thread for the bass player,


PS - I think page 6 is titled "Cool rock poses".
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  #15  
Old 02-04-2005, 11:02 PM
tomizm tomizm is offline
 
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Re: a thread for the bass player,


Rock poses, thats great!!!!!
I say.......let the bass player show the guitar players, that if they're not careful, a good bass player can turn a 5 piece into a 4 piece band, or in some cases a 4 piece into a 3 piece (Rush, Kings X).
Zakk Wylde once said (ironically while explaining why a bass player WASNT hired for the new album) "It's simple beer econmics, the less guys we have to share beer with, the more there is for each individual person".
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billy sheehan, guitar players, stomp box, zakk wylde

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