Best Man Speech Advice

ShredNotDead · #1 10-05-2007, 10:58 PM

Here's the situation. A close friend is getting married next month, and he asked me to be his best man. Now at first, this did'nt seem to be a real big issue, as I've stood up as best men roughly 3 or 4 times (in fact this is the third wedding I'm standing up in this year), but this one is going to be a little bit different speech wise. He is the son of my parents close friends, so my family will be there, and I've known his entire family my whole life.

My typical speech goes something like; Compliment bride on looks, make witty quip about groom, threaten to tell the audience about the night he got wasted on tequila and ________, digress and say the night is not about the past but rather, the future, have a good life together, salute. Typically lasting a few minutes, short, sweet & to the point. No rambling BS.

However, this time I'm compelled to take it a bit further. So, here's my question (s):

1. In a setting where you know almost everyone in attendance, what is appropriate/not appropriate?

2. How sappy should it be?

3. How much should I concentrate on being funny?

4. Should I stick to my usual formula?

5. At what point does a crowd want you to shut up already?

Let's hear some stories folks, I'm accepting any and all advice on this one.

(Especially from Elcid)

Thanks!

**elcid** · #2 10-05-2007, 11:01 PM

Heres what you do man, raise you glass and propose this toast...

Here's to the hole that never heals
the more you touch it, the better it feels.

ShredNotDead · #3 10-05-2007, 11:03 PM

See, that's what I'm talking about right there.

**jaxadam** · #4 10-05-2007, 11:10 PM

I was in a pretty similar situation with one of my best friends, only thing was he turned completely "born again" and the whole wedding was "dry" so I had my hands full trying to figure out how I was gonna pull off being respectful and tactful, yet entertaining...

Well, it went over okay, but my saving grace was the fact that one of his brothers who talked right after me was drunk as sh!t (I should have been hanging out with him!) and everyone forgot about the dumb stuff I said.

I still have a picture to this day of me up there with the mic in my hand in front of about 400 people with his bride just glaring at me...

I guess my only advice would be just to feel the crowd, and go with your gut. That's what I had to do, and I guess without the few minor hiccups, it turned out okay.

quiksilverdew · #5 10-05-2007, 11:10 PM

Here here!

ShredNotDead · #6 10-05-2007, 11:39 PM

I'm starting to re-think my plan of going all out, I can see it backfiring already (see;Hindenburg), I may just have to stick to the simple stuff.

I feel you Jax, when the crowd hushes and all eyes are on you has got to be the most nerve racking thing in the world.

**elcid** · #7 10-05-2007, 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShredNotDead

when the crowd hushes and all eyes are on you has got to be the most nerve racking thing in the world.

Four words, Puppetry of the penis. If you need help I can show you the hamburger, the brain and the Loch Ness Monster.

**jaxadam** · #8 10-05-2007, 11:51 PM

Yeah, I thought I was pretty prepared, then I stood up, and realized I was up against a different group, but it all came out good. I guess you just have to wing it...

IbanezPrestigeBoy · #9 10-05-2007, 11:54 PM

Mens health did an article about this earlier this summer. One line I remember that would come in handy for you is...

"Never say something in your speech that you wouldn't be comfortable saying to the bride/grooms parent's or grandparents in a conversation"

And to save the heavy drinking until after you give your speech.

kirk · #10 10-06-2007, 12:09 AM

Not too long, not too short, not too generic.

....not too helpful.

ShredNotDead · #11 10-06-2007, 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elcid

Four words, Puppetry of the penis. If you need help I can show you the hamburger, the brain and the Loch Ness Monster.

I'll use this as a last resort, when in doubt....whip it out. I almost read that without getting a mental image, but....too late it's in there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by IbanezPrestigeBoy

And to save the heavy drinking until after you give your speech.

And there's the rub...I have to watch this one closely....very closely.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kirk

....not too helpful.

Plenty helpful, you guys are just reinforcing my gut feeling.....which means less preparation....which in turn does'nt cut into my sitting around time.

ScottB · #12 10-06-2007, 12:57 AM

Spoken as you pull a few rolled-up sheets of toilet paper with words scribbled on it, out of your pocket...

"I was in the bathroom this morning and i'd forgotten to get the newspaper, so I decided it was the proper time to write this toast..."

bammbamm · #13 10-06-2007, 02:55 AM

hehe
Actually I have one that I always wanted to try, but never had the opportunity.

Go on with a long complimentary speech about how great the groom is for the bride while reading off a sheet of paper, then mid way, "uh hey, I can't read what you wrote here" Then resume and finish it out with the 'serious' part.

Distantshore · #14 10-06-2007, 06:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IbanezPrestigeBoy

And to save the heavy drinking until after you give your speech.

I could have used this advice a few years back when I was the best man at my brothers wedding...the tape is painful to watch.

I did the same thing as you are doing now, agonizing over what to say, and how to say it months before the big day...in the end I was so wasted I forgot it all anyway and had to just wing it. The funny thing was all the people coming up to me after complimenting me on a nice speech

bammbamm · #15 10-08-2007, 01:33 AM

I got to witness a TERRIBLE best man speech given by the Bride's brother...
He started off with a savings and loan comparison to marriage, then it just got more complex and off topic, before you know it, he's 15 minutes into it and so far out in left field, yet hes got tears in his eyes, He was seriously the worst I'd ever heard/seen.

As an aside, it turned out his forgot his Ritalin, so he was very scatterbrained. Go figure. Ya feel bad, but at the same time, you sit there and congratulate yourself for not being him.