Dumbest thing a guitarist has ever said to you?

twooos · #1 06-16-2007, 08:57 AM

yeah, please tell me.

this morning some one said to me "you cant bend feedback"

i said "yea you can, joe satriani does it all the time"

he goes "thats called artifical feedback, n00b"

lol

guitar_chick · #2 06-16-2007, 09:09 AM

Ok, I will admit to my own stupidity here. This is something dumb I asked a while back being new to electric guitars and all. I was looking at the Epiphone Les Paul I bought at the store and I ask the Guitar Center clerk, "Where is the whammy bar?" In my defense I just started playing electric last Christmas. I am 38 and have never been inclined or even touched an electric until now. If we can't laugh at ourselves...then life becomes way to serious and mundane.

guitar_chick · #3 06-16-2007, 09:11 AM

I have learned a lot about electric guitars since then, especially by being a member of this site. I'm getting ready to change out my own saddles and attempt to set the intonation myself on my Fender strat.

courtney2018 · #4 06-16-2007, 10:26 AM

You all are going to love this one. Short as I can with a background story.

I just started playing again last year. I started playing, however, back when I was like 12 or 13...somethng like that. So it's not like I'm stupid or anything when it comes to guitars. Even done plenty to mine over the years.

Ok, so, there's this guy at work that just started playing again after about 20 years of not picking it up. He's got a Les Paul custom that he thinks is just the ultimate, best guitar in the world - nothing's better than his.

So I take mine to jam with him and his drummer friend for the first time. The strings were literally about 10 years old or so on mine. I get there and try to tune up but it's not happening. There just isn't anymore stretch left in the strings, so the trem would bend up every time I tried to retune. Luckily that day they had a spare Squire they're were borrowing from a neighbor to try out that I played. Apparently though, my guitar left a bad test in my friends mouth - trems are bad.

Fast forward.

We're at another friend of his house jamming and the guy has his door open because it's literally 50 degrees outside, so yes it's cold inside. I've got to pull out my screwdriver to adjust the spring-claw in the back or else I won't get mine in tune. My friend goes, "Why don't you just get rid of that piece of $h!t...", talking about my '90 570, "...and get something like mine. Mine never goes out of tune and it doesn't care what temperature it is. I just open up the case and play."

Now, I'm an engineer, fairly educated, as well as he, and he just told me that temperature doesn't effect his guitar what so ever. I told him the last time I checked temperature still effected wood and metal (they both shrink as the temperature drops obviously), at least here on Earth, but maybe on Planet Rick (cause his name is Rick) the laws of physics don't apply and your made by God himself Gibson Les Paul is always perfectly intune and ready to play. So then I tell him, "Since that's the case, obviously, why do you carry around that tuner of yours, always pulling it out to check your tuning? Doesn't God take care of all that?" Then I go, "By the way, you might want to ask God if he borrowed your guitar without asking and left a look-a-like in it's place because the intonation is out on that piece of $h!t!"

Needless to say that was the last time I jammed with him. I can't stand arrogant phucks like that. He used to be in a band back in the day - "used to be". It's no wonder now why he isn't any more. When it comes to playing music this guy is a complete dick. We always jammed playing stuff he made up, which is more classic rock or bad jazz sounding. Everytime I tried to do something I had come up with he'd just fumble around on the neck and eventually start playing something he wanted.

I try to be nice though. Try to give him some theory guidance on music and such, exercises to do while practicing, but he doesn't want any part of it. He just wants to play the same chords and try and solo the same way. It sounds like a bad Dragonforce jazz guitar album. "Scales, modes, theory..blah...who needs 'em. I just play and it sounds great."

guitar_chick · #5 06-16-2007, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by courtney2018

Now, I'm an engineer, fairly educated, as well as he, and he just told me that temperature doesn't effect his guitar what so ever. I told him the last time I checked temperature still effected wood and metal (they both shrink as the temperature drops obviously), at least here on Earth, but maybe on Planet Rick (cause his name is Rick) the laws of physics don't apply and your made by God himself Gibson Les Paul is always perfectly intune and ready to play. So then I tell him, "Since that's the case, obviously, why do you carry around that tuner of yours, always pulling it out to check your tuning? Doesn't God take care of all that?" Then I go, "By the way, you might want to ask God if he borrowed your guitar without asking and left a look-a-like in it's place because the intonation is out on that piece of $h!t!"

Needless to say that was the last time I jammed with him. I can't stand arrogant phucks like that.

Girl, you have me laughing until it hurts!!!

I agree, I have zero tolerance with arrogant phucks, especially the ones that play a musical instrument.

twooos · #6 06-16-2007, 10:47 AM

haha, you should have slapped the bastard for being a tool

newbieguitarmaker · #7 06-16-2007, 10:52 AM

ugh I have so many stories and most of which are from this one guy. Ok his name is David and for some reason he tells everyone his name is kyo (idk thinks he is cool I guess). But one day I was talking to him and I'm like man I'm going to have to work really hard just like Vai to get to that level of mastery on guitar. He goes, ah ppl say I'm as good if not better than Vai........... I go really and those people are deaf or nonexistent?

He kinda just walked away, btw he loves Herman Li and sees no sloppiness ever in his playing and he takes after Herman nicely with that oh so special sloppiness quality.

Ok one more, my friend looks at my american deluxe strat, he goes nice squier, and ugly pickups and pickgaurd, you get that for like $100 bucks. I go no that is aged color and this is a new American Deluxe Strat I got it for $1000 bucks from my friend, store owner, so he gave me a good discount of about 300

I'll be back probably

Demiurge · #8 06-16-2007, 11:52 AM

Does it count that I used to jam with with someone who had been playing guitar for years and still had to ask me which string is the A string?

**elcid** · #9 06-16-2007, 12:07 PM

I worked in a guitar shop for almost 10 years so I heard alot of stupid sht.

Kids comming in looking for a book with all the power chords listed, a guy cranking the gain and volume on a JSX half stack, standing right in front of it, then calling the amp a piece of sht when it feedback right away, Students that think they know more than me after 2 months, or the "my friend says you do this wrong" kids. Had one guy bring in a Randy Rhoads guitar with the toggle switch snapped off because he thought it was the whammy bar. Had another arguement with a guy who said his pickups dont work on magnets, they work with lasers. It turns out they were Lace Sensors. He was ready to hit me for telling him they werent lazers. Im sure I will remember more for your viewing pleasure.

guitar_chick · #10 06-16-2007, 12:16 PM

Jeeze, I don't feel quite some dumb anymore. Thanks for helping shed some perspective for me.

Clonetool · #11 06-16-2007, 12:20 PM

There was a guy who told me "I've been playing around a year, and i can do FTLOG, no problem". What a tool. LOL.

Onimacaroni · #12 06-16-2007, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demiurge

Does it count that I used to jam with with someone who had been playing guitar for years and still had to ask me which string is the A string?

Mind, Django apparently had a lot of trouble with notes and that, and look at how awesome he was!

bammbamm · #13 06-16-2007, 12:33 PM

"They werk with frikkin' lazer beams on their frikkin' heads!"

My Drummer is a music major and plays a number of instruments and we constantly battle over silly crap like the right way to tune a guitar for instance.

I generally tune to the 12th fret harmonic, just because my tuner picks up more quickly. He will debate me ad nauseum about how I'm doing it wrong and not getting the true note to be tuned, etc.. I sit and tell him why ot doesn't matter, it's still a harmonic of the string, and going to be an octave over what the original tone is. He doesn't wanna hear it...

It goes on and on.
The other thing is playing on my 7 strings, if you attack the lower strings harder, you'll go slightly sharp, he then tells me we need to tune my stuff flat to be in... Ughhhh

I can't touch him on theory or musical knowledge though, he's got his Masters in music, and he reads musical biographies like they are going out of style. it's impressive.