I am a strange, hypocritical person

[OLIE_ROCKS_THE_80'S]

Originally Posted by losgatosrg350dx

dude


your relationship is as solid as top ramen
your still so young and girls that young, well let me tell you she probably doesnt take you seriously and knows shes going off to college and all ties are cut, you know cut your losses and move on....

if i were you id shape up and ride it while it lasts....and as for her going off to college and you not being there, just expect nothing and the worst too....college is a mess, and girls get taken advantage of. and girls place themselves in that position. and for your understanding that shes a partier, its just addict behavior. and you are her crutch

once she goes to college and thinks nobody is looking over her shoulder(like you have been with toning her down), shes going to party hard with the next guy who gets her trashed and the rest is easy to fill in....

and as for if she was your gf and she hangs out with those dude becasue SHE wants to, and if it bothers you she wouldnt do it if she really cared...
man ive dated a bunch of gals, and i realised this is a fairty tale i know too well, just how you described it

and those guys, well you know what they want

man, have a great time, but girls...well college is whee they draw the line...how many relationships last through college...ya know?? how many of her HS friends will she have after college..?? get the hintorino

ps im not trying to be cruel i just think you are young and soo much more to look forward than to try to control this gal whom you are concerned about....shes obviously addict material, i used be be a bad addict, i sepnt alot of time and ive met alot of addict people.

take care dude

For the most part this post is dead on! Give up both the drugs and the girl.
down the line you'll be glad you did.

[OLIE_ROCKS_THE_80'S]

Originally Posted by TMatt142

#1...If your a jealous type of guy...You need to fix that crap. That will do nothing but ruin even a good relationship. She's going off to college, her being liberal and all....What do you think she's going to do, tuck her self away in her dorm room and study whilst gazing at pictures of you???? She's going to party her ASS off at college. Just like you will if you go. This is the entire "trust" part of the relationship....Do you trust her and maybe get burned? Or do you constantly worry about what's going on while your not around? See though, when it all comes down to it, college isn't the problem, it's your relationship with her because if your asking yourself these questions, there is obviously a lack of trust, and in order for there to be some sort of "lack of trust thing" then she's no doubt done some things to question your trust in her....It's not a "liberal vs. conservative" thing at all. I know plenty of conservative women who behind closed doors would make the best of liberals blush. I think maybe your getting that confused with something else. This is what happens, to a lot of people, throughout the entire world...sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. It's all a part of getting older. Rarely does a relationship work going from HS to college. You meet A LOT of new people. Throw crap like dope into the mix and you start meeting A LOT of new, BAD people. This isn't something that is suppose to make you all worried and possesive, I'm just filling you in on what (in my experience) can, and does happen. Sure you guys might get married, you might not. Dude your still in HS.....Marriage and relationships should be the furthest thing from your mind. Take care of YOU, get your **** together so you can further your education, get a great job doing the things YOU want to do in life. I have yet to come across someone who made it through life and owed his success to some girl he humped on for 2 years through HS.......Just my two bits......

Agreed with most of your post except when you're asking a kid not being jelous and to "trust" in a relationship when he probably doesn't even know what that means, since that comes with maturity/experience much later in life and once you get a better handle of your emotions.

[jb4674]

Make sure you get a "severance pop" before you cut her loose. Smitty, you're young and marriage should the last thing on your mind. At your age, like Dee said, you should be having fun and not worrying about whether or not she'll be with you forever.

If there's one solid piece of advice I can give you, it would be to stop being jealous and overprotective. Women find jealousy a complete turnoff and, instead, they like confidence.

Jimmy

[andy7jem]

What about if you're "confidently jealous" though

[losgatosrg350dx]

severence pop is only valid if you dont cut the ties before the pop

[losgatosrg350dx]

dude jelousy is a term for ignorance basicaly
if you love a babe and she loves you
you dwont be jelous
if she knows something makes u uncomfortable, the girl wont do it, just like hwen ur lady doesnt like it when u wear shoes in the house
i bet you take em off every time right..

if a girl makes u jelous she most likely doing it for fun, to see a rise in you
wich is not fair, cuz no matter how good the relationship is girls can do it only bevcasue they are addicted to chaos, and need it in a relationship to function....

being jelous is also like a disease
i let my gf go out with her gal friends, or do whatever, i dont even ask, i just wonder what time shes home, but ive seen and heard about her in public situations, my gf kicks guys in the balls if they dont f off, shell strait up break a beer bottle and run at someone if she doesnt like them

now its extreme, but most folk get he point when she rude, for instance she can ignore someone like here no tomorow, and peple get a hint

if your getting jelous, then most likely shes getting u jelous for sure on purpose.

and as for hanging with those dude, she just wants to get high and party, and who knows where shes gone from those situations, at her age all girls wana do is experience as much different **** as they want....i mean not to be a tottal dick, im just saying....girls are wild..and when i was in hs, everytime a girl i was into went to hang with shady guys, i never talked to her again cuz i knew what was up, she wanted to smoke some weed, some wome white and party..and what do you think happens when chicks party...they get all wet and happy.....anyways fellow

just more on, pop it while its hot, and when it drive u nuts, let it go and pop her sister, that a better feeling than you think:-)

[Smitty]

Hey woah! You guys have gotten the wrong ideas here...
Thank you all for the posts, but let me clear some things up. And REMEMBER, the partying thing is JUST AN EXAMPLE!
1) She is no longer a ridiculous partier. She's way past that and views that part of her life as a stupid phase she had to get through. She's sort of hippie-ish and enjoys the plant every so often, as do I.
2) This isn't a thread asking how to get rid of her! That is definitely not the point. I know I'm only 17, as you have all made clear, but we are very much in love, not in a sappy, unrealistic way. She knows I may go off to Boston, but we have committed ourselves to each other. I can trust her. She can trust me. You guys have gotten this idea that we have a bad, strained relationship. Quite the contrary; for two years we've been very in love, and never had a strain except during her "phase." We argue sometimes like we're married, I can piss with the door open, and we've both accepted that we both go #2. In all seriousness though, we have a great relationship, and we can both see it lasting a long time. She is not the BS-ing type; if she has a problem with something or someone, she speaks her mind. I totally trust her. The thing about being jealous around dudes pertains to the part after these numbers: I'm just oddly jealous of whenever she talks to one of her dude friends. Not jealous actually...jealous is the wrong word. I'm protective. I wanna beat his ass for talking to her. But then again, like I said in the first post, I've gotten a lot better and a lot more sane. I mean come on, I have a chick friends. I don't really get protective anymore unless I can tell he's hitting on her (which means he is probably not her friend...her co-workers hit on her a lot) and then either she tells him to go away, fetches me if he won't, and my favorite, I fetch myself and make him leave
3) We have a lot of trust in our relationship. Trust is not the problem (anymore). She has done some things in the past, that "phase," that made me question my trust in her. But she's regained it. She is very smart (above perfect GPA) and sensible and responsible, and I trust that she won't hang with any shady people nowadays or at college.
4) The college she's going to is in Bloomington, IN (IU) and I live in Noblesville. I can see her alot (I'll be a senior next year). College isn't the problem. When she parties, I go with her most of the time. She's told me she wants me to come party with her, etc. We haven't partied without the other since her "phase." Also, partying isn't a big deal in our lives, just a rare, fun occurence! This is just the example of the thread. Read on and you'll understand.
5) She comes from a rough, poor, abusive family. She definitely isn't the rich partier girl you're making her out to be. She has two nearly full time jobs, in addition to school, to help make ends meet. Her rebellious "phase" was just letting some steam go and trying new things that she was pressured to try, but she's tried them and isn't very interested anymore, they're just fun. I generally join her.

SO

The thread was about my odd hypocritical tendencies. I'm basically explaining them, just trying to make some sense of them. I'll try and make this short and clear:
We'll just keep this partying example going. When we party together, no problem. When I talk of partying, or in the rare instance of me partying without her, no problem. When she talks of partying, or in the rare instance of her partying without me, I get internally angry at the fact that she's doing that. Nothing serious, but weird. Sort of like another personality getting mad at it and my normal personality fighting this new one and saying "why are you getting mad? You (meaning me) do it too!"
Understand? It's not huge, doesn't control my life, it's just annoying. I thought I might share it with you guys and try and make some sense out of it; I'm completely and utterly confused as to why I do that.
I hope this makes sense now. As I said in the first post, my girlfriend and the partying is just one example; this happens with a few other things, with a few other people.
smitty

[Smitty]

Originally Posted by ibanez777vbk

im not into drugs but years ago i smoked dope,and a mate of mine asked me to try these mushrooms STAY WELL CLEAR OF THEM i had 50,its just mass paranoia i was stoned for weeks flashbacks for months n months i thought i was going really mad.dont do it mate its not a relaxing buzz like dope it really puts your head in the bin.like i said im not a druggy just a stupid thing i did when i was younger.speaking of poets william wordsworth used to eat these mushrooms while writing poetry (fool).

Sounds like you had a bad trip, man!
It's a weird choice of whether or not I'll try those. I've heard a few bad stories, like yours, and a bunch of great things. If I do, which I'm still deciding (It's freakin expensive!) it's a one time thing, definitely.
smitty

[losgatosrg350dx]

dude there is nothing you can do when she goes to college, hold on and brace for impact!

does anyone here hear an echo from maybe ten years ago, shed some light on yourselves at age 17..??

this seems too typical...hey man, rock it while its hot, when she goes to college - things will change, and what you have with her now, you probably wont have later

[jaxadam]

Originally Posted by Smitty

I know I'm only 17, as you have all made clear, but we are very much in love, not in a sappy, unrealistic way.

Dude, you're in for a long ride. All of us were here. And we've been through it multiple times since. I would still say the same thing if you were telling me you were 21. Trust me, things are gonna change.

I'm not going to get into all of the little things I see about your relationship that I can either relate to, or have seen in some other form or fashion. You both are going to go through a lot of changes, and the only advice I can give you is to be confident, keep your head up, and try to go down the right path for yourself. You're just starting to scratch the surface, life as a young adult.

[losgatosrg350dx]

hey i used to pop tons of shrooms
and i think everyone here with that experience can agree you would not be alive if you injested 50 shrooms, wich is probably over an ounce, and the going rate for an ounce in california if u buy more than a quarter pound is 70 per ounce, and the going rate of an ounce by itself is 160

im confused, if you ate 50, how are you still alive

[losgatosrg350dx]

o btw, if you are refering to a 50 sack, im curious what it was....in cali a 8th(minumin dose for a rookie) is 20 bux or less usually like 15.....so how much did u eat...still if u had like two 8ths it would be intense, even more if u had any more id see why u were freaked out, but anything near 3 8ths is almost imposible to eat without being dead by the time you are done

shrroms are a intense fungus and are actually poisonus, if you eat a little bit youll actually get poisoned, if u eat enough the physlocibyn will kick in and the poisoned feling goes away, if you eat too many - stop goes ur heart if u dont puke it up

[Smitty]

Sounds like you've had some bad experience with women, man. You're very pessimistic!
But as I just stated, this thread isn't about her, or isn't supposed to be, you guys are making it.
smitty

[losgatosrg350dx]

lol buddy there

your 17

those two words sum it all up, enjoy life homes......

and one more to expand on your future with her

college

[DEADTUNES666]

Hey if you told us a story about how you climbed mountains but felt weird about wearing mountain boots, and didn't like heights, but loved climbing mountains and once in a while climbed while smoking, but hated the cold air and felt ambivalent about the thin air, but loved back packs, and had a fondness for rope just not swinging/hanging from them...all this and you weren't looking for advice but wanted to communicate to us just how hypocritical you were when it came to mountains...

We would all still say the same things!! That's what older dudes do when younger guys tell stories like that...