I just don't know anymore... - Page 3

Distantshore · #31 05-05-2007, 10:09 PM

Sorry to hear of your troubles Sick, but it seems like you have a good head on your shoulders and know what you have to do. I married young and made the mistake of spending years trying to make it work with a "stranger".

Best of luck.

guitar_chick · #32 05-06-2007, 11:11 AM

There seems to be some chick bashing going on here somewhat. We are not all bad. Don't even get me started on the hurts guys can cause a girl. My best friend is supposed officially dating this guy now that she is insane over, but I swear she has been home alone every weekend since they've been "dating". He goes out without her; not even an invite. Everyone, whether you are male or female, has been hurt before by someone. I try not to put men down, but I admit, at times I don't really understand your gender. There are just a lot of hurtful people out in the world right now; society has some real issues. Sorry, I've had my piece. I've also cried many tears over guys, and I don't waste my tears anymore.

Sorry, I know being a chick here, I'm walking into the lion's den, but I still have to believe in people and that love exists out there somewhere. Once I give up on that hope, I will literally die inside.

shredmaster · #33 05-06-2007, 11:18 AM

guitar chick, no offense. i know guys can be complete bastards, as well as girls. gender has no affect on how this turns out BUT in my experiences, i know of only a couple girls who treat people well and have great morals and blah blah blah...while the rest have issues. All the guys i know, friends, family, have been treated badly, hurt terribly, etc. and would not think of cheating on anyone. those are the guys i know, great morals, would do anything for anyone, etc. i have never had any of my close friends or family treat someone terribly as described above, but, just the opposite, bending over backwards for someone when they don't even deserve it. our parents raised us too well, with too much of a conscience. I can't stand sneaky dishonest people. If I wasn't married, I would just have my guitars and studio and get a plot of land for my dogs: they love you unconditionally no matter what. that is the angle i was coming from. Now, not to be a downer, but love, or whatever it's called, is a curse. Regardless if you are in something great or not.....everything ends, and that is why i have to believe Geoff Tate.....it's never worth the pain that you feel......

.....yes my bottle is half empty most of the time.....or did i even have a bottle to begin with?

guitar_chick · #34 05-06-2007, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jemsite

Look, most every married male says "don't get married" but few ever explain just why. it's because marriage is unnatural, people change (especially the bride) and men and women just aren't really that compatible outside physical animal-like needs for the most part. And even when those moments are over the girl wants to lay and talk and "be held" when you want to go plug in your guitar

It is difficult being on the receiving end of a guy only wanting you to fulfill his "animal-like" needs. I've been thinking a lot lately, that I cannot remember the last time a guy just held me. Hell, I cannot even remember the last time I spent a whole night with a guy sleeping. I have a bed full of big pillows to try and substitute. You guys have given me an awful lot to think about here the last few days. Some of it is a little disheartening. Do guys really not want to just hug a girl? Maybe I should not say anything, since I'm female and probably wrong.

guitar_chick · #35 05-06-2007, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shredmaster

guitar chick, no offense. i know guys can be complete bastards, as well as girls. gender has no affect on how this turns out BUT in my experiences, i know of only a couple girls who treat people well and has great morals and blah blah blah...while the rest have issues. All the guys i know, friends, family, have been treated badly, hurt terribly, etc. and would not think of cheating on anyone. those are the guys i know, great morals, would do anything for anyone, etc. we were all raised well. i have never had any of my close friends or family treat someone terribly as described above, but, just the opposite, bending over backwards for someone when they don't even deserve it. that is the angle i was coming from.

Thanks. Reading some of this, I'm trying not to personalize it, but...I have heard so bad stories from guys, and I have experienced and had girlfriends experience similar badness. My ex-husband treated me terrible for 7 years. He was controlling and somewhat abusive. I do know women can be retched. I tend to make more male friendships because of this. I'm leaving my job I have now, because a devious woman has been out to get me at work since the day I met her. I just hope it is not assumed that ALL of us women are the anti-Christ. I strive to live my life being the best human being I possibly can. It is how I was raised. I myself have tried to put a damper on male bashing; I do have lots of my own reasons.

newbieguitarmaker · #36 05-06-2007, 11:43 AM

yeah man it's her loss, maybe once she gets more mature she will realize what she had with you man

shredmaster · #37 05-06-2007, 11:43 AM

i would have to disagree with you there. i know of a handful of guys who are into the more compassionate side. the guys i speak of, including me, are not your typical guys. i don't get into sports, i could care less, i never did the one-night stand, what's the point of that? i never did the rebound relationship thing...it's not me, and i am not your animal instinct driven beast either, that so many guys are thought to be. i'm an artist, whether that means playing guitar, shooting video or photography for clients or enjoying someone else's art at the museum or the movies. i'm sorry you had bad experiences with guys who are driven mainly by "one thing." believe it or not, there are many who are not like that. sex compicates things and it is very over-rated. this may be a very non-guy thing to say but regardless of how hot someone may be, i couldn't do that act with them unless i felt close to them...what's the point otherwise? i'm just waiting to get bashed for saying that on here. in fact, my wife was upset since we didn't move "as fast" as what she would have liked.........hey, i want to get to know you more first...what's wrong with that. little role reversal.....but that's how i am....and i know there are others like that out there...so you will find it.

newbieguitarmaker · #38 05-06-2007, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shredmaster

i would have to disagree with you there. i know of a handful of guys who are into the more compassionate side. the guys i speak of, including me, are not your typical guys. i don't get into sports, i could care less, i never did the one-night stand, what's the point of that? i never did the rebound relationship thing...it's not me, and i am not your animal instinct driven beast either, that so many guys are thought to be. i'm an artist, whether that means playing guitar, shooting video or photography for clients or enjoying someone else's art at the museum or the movies. i'm sorry you had bad experiences with guys who are driven mainly by "one thing." believe it or not, there are many who are not like that. sex compicates things and it is very over-rated. this may be a very non-guy thing to say but regardless of how hot someone may be, i couldn't do that act with them unless i felt close to them...what's the point otherwise? i'm just waiting to get bashed for saying that on here. in fact, my wife was upset since we didn't move "as fast" as what she would have liked.........hey, i want to get to know you more first...what's wrong with that. little role reversal.....but that's how i am....and i know there are others like that out there...so you will find it.

+1

guitar_chick · #39 05-06-2007, 11:54 AM

Well, usually when I tell a guy I want to get to know him better, I never hear from him again. That has been my experience. I'm actually pretty put off these days by guys that "want their cake and eat it too". I cannot tell you the # of married men I have had approach me. Your wife has been very lucky to find you. Maybe it is the pickings in my neighborhood that is part of the problem. There are a lot of strip clubs around here and drug transactions. We do live in a world today where sex is just out there in our faces all the time. The attitude seems to be if I don't get it from you then I can find somebody else who will. I am sincerely glad to hear that you and your male counterparts are very different. It gives me some hope.

jemplayer55 · #40 05-06-2007, 12:00 PM

Sorry to hear about your situation.... You must put yourself first though. Unfortunately another "life experience" to learn from and hopefully grow stronger from. Don't let it cloud your outlook though. This will be the real "work" besides healing the scars left by mistrust and betrayal.

guitar_chick · #41 05-06-2007, 12:05 PM

What is so d*** difficult for me, is the sort of guy that shredmaster describes himself and his friends as, is exactly the sort of guy I have been looking for. Everytime I find that they are either taken and/or g**. No offense, S.M. All my best female friends since high school always got hooked up with the greatest of guys; they were always best friends. I always got the guys on the make. I don't know if it is something I do wrong, or luck of the draw. Guys just get grabby and want to talk about how I look. They don't want to get to know me as a person. It does make me feel blue sometimes. The guitar is the perfect outlet for that.

ChopTart · #42 05-06-2007, 12:09 PM

My condolences to you, man. I can only imagine how tough these things are to be going through. Try your best not to spend too much of your time thinking about it, because that will just make recovery harder. You'll feel better about it in time.

Give it time, and you'll be ready to try again. Best wishes for the future.

guitar_chick · #43 05-06-2007, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shredmaster

sex compicates things and it is very over-rated. this may be a very non-guy thing to say but regardless of how hot someone may be, i couldn't do that act with them unless i felt close to them...what's the point otherwise? i'm just waiting to get bashed for saying that on here. in fact, my wife was upset since we didn't move "as fast" as what she would have liked.........hey, i want to get to know you more first...what's wrong with that. little role reversal.....but that's how i am....and i know there are others like that out there...so you will find it.

I truely commend you for your ideals. And I agree 100% about sex complicating things! You get great kudos from me.