I just don't know anymore... - Page 5

JJEMMER777 · #61 05-07-2007, 02:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guitar_chick

I will start looking for those rainbow signs.

Either you're more sheltered than I (highly doubtful)

OR

"Houston.......we have a problem"

Davey · #62 05-07-2007, 04:53 AM

Sorry to hear that Sicky. Having just come out of a 3 year relationship myself, I've gotta say that if it feels like you're beating a dead horse, nothing is ever gonna come of it in the long run. It doesn't mean either of you are bad people, you're just incompatible.

(Although a wise man once said "Any 2 people can work anything out... unless one of them is an arsehole"

)

guitar_chick · #63 05-07-2007, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JJEMMER777

Either you're more sheltered than I (highly doubtful)

OR

"Houston.......we have a problem"

RALMAO!!!

FloridaNative · #64 05-07-2007, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sick-boy

Well, I just talked some more to her. This is basically what I said.

"I thought I was done fighting for my marriage. But I'm not. Some how God has continued to give me strength when I didn't think I had anymore. So this is what I propose. I will find somewhere to store my stuff, and just crash with friends whenever I can. That way you can have the space you need to think things through, and I can have the space I need. I want to try counseling at least once. It's not the councilors are there to necessarily keep the marriage together, more like they can help us discern what we really want. If we still feel like we are not going to work out after that, then I have no problem letting go of you. But I won't have any papers filed until I feel that I've truly exhausted all of my options. Because I've already invested so much time and energy and emotion into this that I can't just give up without knowing that I've done everything that I can."

She said she would try to get some time off of work. Then we could have some more time to talk about it and try to find a councilor. I guess we just have to go from there. I'm trying to remain objective, so that I'm neither pessimistic nor optimistic. But if any of you are the praying types, I could use all the help I can get.

I wish you all the best!! I am a praying type and will definitely lift you up brother.

7Plagues · #65 05-07-2007, 10:55 AM

sick boy, the same thing happened to me, but it was prior to the wedding. my fiance and I had a house, cars, bills, child, the whole nine yards. I, just like you, wanted a family and to settle down, but also have fun from time to time alone as a couple. she decided to split a few months before the wedding. she said she wanted "a single life style", yet she wanted a child, house and to be married. we were together for almost 6 years..needless to say, it was hard, hurtful and ugly. i had to sell the house, cars and move back in to my parents place. it completely sucked, but in the long run, was a better move. im sorry to hear that you are going through the same thing and i would never wish this feeling on my enemy. it was and still is the worst feeling in the world.

7Plagues · #66 05-07-2007, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guitar_chick

Well, usually when I tell a guy I want to get to know him better, I never hear from him again. That has been my experience. I'm actually pretty put off these days by guys that "want their cake and eat it too". I cannot tell you the # of married men I have had approach me. Your wife has been very lucky to find you. Maybe it is the pickings in my neighborhood that is part of the problem. There are a lot of strip clubs around here and drug transactions. We do live in a world today where sex is just out there in our faces all the time. The attitude seems to be if I don't get it from you then I can find somebody else who will. I am sincerely glad to hear that you and your male counterparts are very different. It gives me some hope.

i can fully understand your statements. my exfiance was the same way. she wanted her cake and to eat it as well. my relationship was very one-sided with her. it was always about her and my feelings never mattered. she hardly apologized for anything and never said sorry to tried making amends on arguments or whatever. just like sickboy, it made me realize that she is still a child and i was the one holding the relationship together. even after beign separated for a few years, its still the same way. im the foundation for our child, while she is a mindless high schooler, even though she is 25. people cant change and wont change. you are who you are. its just a shame that in todays society, it is so succeptable to just get up and leave and divorce, separate and everything else. alot of the times, i feel i should of been born in the 50s, where couples stay together for 50+ years and thats it...

7Plagues · #67 05-07-2007, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OLIE_ROCKS_THE_80'S

You hit the nail in the head!!! before I met my wife I had one too many bitter experiences!!! many chicks nowadays just want to have fun not a serious relationship!

^ you got that right...growing up seems to be difficult for alot of girls to understand..
Also Sickboy, I hope your wife isnt one of those flirty, attention seeking myspace girls. my ex is self absorbed in that, pushed off our son on her sister, so she could go out of state a few times to meet myspace people and sleep with them. just for an idea, we are from NJ, and she went to FL, NY, and PA to meet various myspace men..like I said before, she is a child and does not understand what the terms parent, love, commitment actually mean.

sick-boy · #68 05-07-2007, 11:52 AM

Yep, she's a myspace whore. She doesn't actually meet people to sleep with them, but she does spend entirely way too much time on there. Doesn't matter now. She's really show me her true colors today and last night, so right now I'm not even stressing about her. Perhaps I've just come to see her as the ugly, low-esteem, attention whore that she is. The things I'm stressing about now are trying to find a place to crash and store my stuff. I'll be happy to be out of here as soon as possible. I also found out my friend got me a job. I start the 20th. No interview or anything. And since my friend will be my immediate supervisor, he said that I can work as many hours as I want to. So I will be making a ton of money and have plenty to do to keep my mind off of things. Like I said, right now it's just a matter of getting the hell out of here.

Thanks again for all the support guys. It's nice to know that I can call people I've never met before "friends".

7Plagues · #69 05-07-2007, 12:25 PM

Im glad things are already looking ok for you, with the new job.. I know it sucks to pretty much start all over, as i am still trying to do the same, but just be concerned with yourself and do things or buy things you always wanted, hence more guitars.

shredmaster · #70 05-07-2007, 01:38 PM

good luck man. good to know about your job and i'm glad things are a little easier for you....from the standpoint of you have made up your mind. it's rough but you'll be cool.
steve

FloridaNative · #71 05-07-2007, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sick-boy

Yep, she's a myspace whore. She doesn't actually meet people to sleep with them, but she does spend entirely way too much time on there. Doesn't matter now. She's really show me her true colors today and last night, so right now I'm not even stressing about her. Perhaps I've just come to see her as the ugly, low-esteem, attention whore that she is. The things I'm stressing about now are trying to find a place to crash and store my stuff. I'll be happy to be out of here as soon as possible. I also found out my friend got me a job. I start the 20th. No interview or anything. And since my friend will be my immediate supervisor, he said that I can work as many hours as I want to. So I will be making a ton of money and have plenty to do to keep my mind off of things. Like I said, right now it's just a matter of getting the hell out of here.

Thanks again for all the support guys. It's nice to know that I can call people I've never met before "friends".

That's great about the job. That's a good friend you've got there. Take care of you and yes we're all here for you. Best of luck to you. (gives sick boy a big hug)

FloridaNative · #72 05-07-2007, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 7Plagues

^ you got that right...growing up seems to be difficult for alot of girls to understand..
Also Sickboy, I hope your wife isnt one of those flirty, attention seeking myspace girls. my ex is self absorbed in that, pushed off our son on her sister, so she could go out of state a few times to meet myspace people and sleep with them. just for an idea, we are from NJ, and she went to FL, NY, and PA to meet various myspace men..like I said before, she is a child and does not understand what the terms parent, love, commitment actually mean.

I am speechless after reading this. I can't believe that any girl would do such things. In fact after reading these posts I feel like I have to apologize on behalf of my sex for all this animosity and hurt they've caused. But the same way not all guys are like the ones that guitar chick has had the pain of dealing with, not all girls are this way either. People are people and they are either good or bad. I think you have to take people each one on their own merit otherwise you fall into the danger of stereotyping. Just my humble 2 cents.

7Plagues · #73 05-07-2007, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FloridaNative

I am speechless after reading this. I can't believe that any girl would do such that. In fact after reading these posts I feel like I have to apologize on behalf of my sex for all this animosity and hurt they've caused. But the same way not all guys are like the ones that guitar chick has had the pain of dealing with, not all girls are this way either. People are people and they are either good or bad. I think you have to take people each one on their own merit otherwise you fall into the danger of stereotyping. Just my humble 2 cents.

I was speechless when I found out about it, which her dad told me. She blatantly lied to me about it. Everyone was shocked as well. Her parents did stick by me because they knew I cherished her and supported her and would always be there. since the separation, its been a living hell with her. Her parents lost control over her and wont put their foot down and help get her back on track. In all actuality, you shouldnt have to do that to a 25 year old.

It is funny and sad that I get stereotyped because I'm the father and normally, the father is the incompotent one.In this case though its the other way around. It was the same way when she told people about the separation, everyone wanted to cater to her yet it was her idea to split up. Go figure...DOH

FloridaNative · #74 05-07-2007, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 7Plagues

I was speechless when I found out about it, which her dad told me. She blatantly lied to me about it. Everyone was shocked as well. Her parents did stick by me because they knew I cherished her and supported her and would always be there. since the separation, its been a living hell with her. Her parents lost control over her and wont put their foot down and help get her back on track. In all actuality, you shouldnt have to do that to a 25 year old.

It is funny and sad that I get stereotyped because I'm the father and normally, the father is the incompotent one.In this case though its the other way around. It was the same way when she told people about the separation, everyone wanted to cater to her yet it was her idea to split up. Go figure...DOH

Unreal!! She will pay bitterly though for her behavior. She won't find another man who will treat her the way you did. Such sad sad stories on this thread.

sick-boy · #75 05-07-2007, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 7Plagues

i can fully understand your statements. my exfiance was the same way. she wanted her cake and to eat it as well. my relationship was very one-sided with her. it was always about her and my feelings never mattered. she hardly apologized for anything and never said sorry to tried making amends on arguments or whatever. just like sickboy, it made me realize that she is still a child and i was the one holding the relationship together. even after beign separated for a few years, its still the same way. im the foundation for our child, while she is a mindless high schooler, even though she is 25. people cant change and wont change. you are who you are. its just a shame that in todays society, it is so succeptable to just get up and leave and divorce, separate and everything else. alot of the times, i feel i should of been born in the 50s, where couples stay together for 50+ years and thats it...

Damn dude. We sound like we have a lot in common. We both took our vows a little more seriously. And that "have her cake and eat it too" statement is the exact same thing I told my friends. Actually, my wife basically said the same thing too. She said she felt like she was taking advantage of me. She felt like no matter what she did, and no matter how mad I got, she knew I would still be there when she got home. And now she has to realize that I won't be there. Oh well, I'll find the right woman someday. I know I will. After the busy time at works slows down, it will have given me plenty of time to sort out my life and get my priorities together so that I can enjoy my time. Plus, if I work as much as I expect I will be, it will give me plenty of money to get my credit in order, so that it doesn't take as big of a hit when the divorce gets finalized. So that's good. I think I'm recovering faster than I thought I would. Somehow in the past couple of days I'm seeing her for who she really is, it it's already helping me have some sense of closure.