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The Ironic Moron......

3K views 27 replies 14 participants last post by  Laobi 
#1 · (Edited)
So, I'm driving home from work tonight and get caught up in a traffic jam. I'm in the left of two lanes and behind a fairly new Lexus SUV. The guy in the Lexus is constantly missing the fact that traffic ahead of him has moved forward a bit allowing drivers from the right lane to dodge in front of him. I can plainly see that he has his head buried in his smartphone, texting away. After some manuevering I worked my way next to him. I was now in the right lane and VERY pissed off not only because I was in this traffic in the first place, but because "Lexus boy" was making it worse. Being the kind and gentle person that I am, I opened my window and laid on the horn....... this dumbass was getting a piece of my mind!

"Lexus boy" slowly lifted his head from his phone, peered around, and saw that I was staring directly into his soul with my window down. Obliviously, he too rolled down his window...... the fool! Now I was going to give it to him. Just as I started to speak he asked loudly "You have any idea what's causing this mess?". I couldn't help but reply with all the angst I had- "Some a$$hole must have been texting and caused an accident!!". I confidently looked him in the eye knowing that I got my message across. He HAD to know I was commenting on his lack of attention, his perpetuation of the situation....... that's right-he had to know I was pissed off and not going to take it!!!!

He quickly came back with the reply....." I bet your right- these a$$holes are doing it all the time".

I rolled my window back up in utter defeat.......... I simply could not contend with this level of MORONISM..........he won.
 
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#4 ·
LOL... apparently like ants! Of course, I'm near a "big city" so you would expect to see this kind of behavior simply because of the number of motorists around me. I'm also very close to the rural, farm areas of Illinois. Traveling more than 45 minutes south of me and your in "no mans land". You'd think you'd see less of it there....nope. It's worse......even the farmers on their giant harvesters are clicking away, driving 5mph down a single lane highway........
 
#3 ·
That is brilliant! I witnessed a similar incident last summer, a relation and I were late for a family event (as always) and quite concerned that the food would have run out before we got there. We've an open road apart from a white Range Rover slowly weaving taking up the whole road.
My relative who's just got off duty, is generally not the most patient with stupid drivers as he was a traffic rat before becoming a detective steps on the pedal, swerves out and blocks the path of the Range Rover, at this point I'm saying "**** you very much, if this tool doesn't brake, I'm toast". The idiot stops, gets out screaming, he's about 19 and is still holding his tablet. My relative is worse mood asks the "which inbred backwater are you depriving of their ****ing idiot today?" the response "**** you, I'm was trying to pick a song, have some ****ing patience, you prick!". Badge appears, our idiot shrinks like a deflated baloon and starts stammering as the threats of all sorts of charges, fines etc., are made, then the demeaning lecture begins and our idiot is told to ring his mother to come get him (it was mommy's car), he is basically made to feel like a 5 year old until she arrives and made feel even worse by her.
 
#9 ·
Nice thought, most likely not going to work. ;)
On the unlikely chance you'd even hit his phone with the water; most phones come with a water-resistant coating these days.
Even my 'cheap' Moto G, look on youtube, there's a video of a girl who left it underwater for 30 minutes and it was just fine. :p (I've used it in a downpour myself, no worries)

Back to topic...

This doesn't involve traffic, but it's a good 'moronism' I think.
When I was working at Wal*Mart, my department (Fabrics and Crafts) has its own register. We cut, we collect. ;)
One of my co-workers NEVER would fill the bag rack, or get change for the register.
One night I went in and both were basically empty. Not one plastic bag and only one or two $1 bills in the drawer.
So I finally had it and said, "Why is it that no one can ever get change or get bags?"
She actually said, "Yeah, I know; right?"
Exact quote.
I looked at her and said, "I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU! You were the only one here!"
"Oh, sorry, give me $100 I'll go up front and get some change and bags..."
After that, there were always bags and change, but she didn't talk to me much......not that I cared, I at least had change to give my customers and bags to put their merchandise in. ;)
I think I scared her. I was like a chihuahua barking at a pit-bull, but it worked. LOL
 
#12 ·
A lot of guys in this thread just need a chill pill. You can't be responsible for others' stupidity!

I used to have the worst road rage, but then I realised that acting like a bigger dumbass than the moron I was angry at actually made me the moron!!!
 
#15 ·
haha this thread is brilliant, here in old blighty the roads are full of morons most of them teenagers with a really bad car that they have spent a fortune on modding with fancy bodywork and large bore exhausts to make them sound sporty, they usually drive round like nutters and way to fast, my fave game is to spot them as early as posible then get in front of them and drive just below the speed limit, this really annoys them. i get great pleasure from it and they learn how to drive properly at the speed limit
 
#16 ·
It still amazes me everyday how many people are face down in their phones while driving. Its like being on the road with a bunch of drunks.

I work on a receiving dock and you should hear the stories some of these truckers have..
people driving with open laptops on their steering wheels and isht!
 
#17 ·
I was on my way to my doctor this morning and had a girl blow by me on Rt 64 doing about 90... she had a laptop on the dash of her SUV and I'm pretty sure she was putting on makeup as well. Not sure, she was out of sight pretty quickly even though I was going 70mph myself.
Made me think of this thread. ;)
 
#20 ·
I am the most terrified driver on earth

I have both hands squeezing the life out if the wheel, sitting straight up with my eyes on the road and too afraid to even look at the radio

I don't understand how people can not be physically terrified driving on a residential road (with kids running around everywhere) much less a damn highway

When they kill someone because of their stupid mistakes it will be hell to pay for them, and there's not really much else you can do except lead by example... Or piss them off
 
#22 ·
Don't be "terrified" Kyle, just be cautious. It sounds like you're almost too aware of what can happen...to the point of paranoia.
If you're too keyed up about the potential of hitting something; you're going to end up hitting something.
Just relax, keep your eyes open and drive the car. You'll be fine. Yes; kids jump into the street, dogs, anything can happen...just pay attention. And in residential areas; just drive slow. Most side streets are 15 miles an hour and your 'business district' streets are usually 25 MPH. Just stick to that and you'll be much less likely to do any damage.
And if you're doing the speed limit and the idiot behind you is bitching about it...slow down. That's what I do. There are many roads around here that are two-way, but barely wide enough for two cars to pass each other, so I drive slowly in case some moron decides to be too far in my lane coming around a bend. I piss people off all the time...they get 'stuck' behind me. They want to do 40 on a 15MPH road. So... they tailgate, I do 5.
:)
Give me some room; I'll speed up, but crawl up my butt before buying me a drink? I'll take my foot off the gas and ride the break... :p
 
#24 ·
Well that would be up to a cops interpretation, and I could see it being a hassle for people if they weren't actualy doing anything wrong and were just looking down for a second or whatever. Who knows, whatever you think about cops there would definitely be a problem somewhere down the line.

Then there would be a quota for more tickets as well on top of ones already.

But I agree- if it was no doubt someone was doing something other than driving and could be proven then yes, go for it.
 
#25 ·
I'm speaking of obvious things; like a laptop or newspaper in front of the driver while the vehicle is moving. Even holding a phone up to your ear.
I've heard that in Germany, on some stretches of road, if you're caught as a 'distracted driver' you can lose your license for life.
It's 3000+ pounds of steel, PAY ATTENTION! :)
 
#26 ·
Same in Sweden since December 2013:

"...forbidden to use mobile phones or other communication devices in the car so as to affect the run on a detrimental effect."

Seems as the punishment is about 190 USD fine and may also result in a temporarily suspended drivers license.

I've never seen anything like you guys describe though; Plenty of horrible drivers, but nothing on the level of your examples...
 
#27 ·
The irony of being a narcissist (clinically diagnosed or below threshold) is said narcissist is unaware of their condition.

Unfortunately many humans are relatively unconcerned about anything & everything except SELF.

Stupidity always prevails because it takes no effort.... glen

ps - morons can also be "dangerous". The one thing i will say though is interacting with other drivers is that it is HIGHLY DANGEROUS where ultimately NO GOOD can come of it. This person could have flew into an aggressive state creating a road rage furor. That would be bad for you. I know a young kid who had a quasi-altercation who was followed home & had car damage laterso NEVER UNDERESTIMATE the DANGER of said moron.
 
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