tired so tired

shredmaster · #1 11-18-2007, 09:35 PM

just sitting here on a sunday night, dreading "work" tomorrow. i have to say i'm in one of those moods where i just don't care about much right now. i'm tired of not succeeding. i'm still losing my job end of december, as most of us are, and i can't find a new one. huge mortgage in new house = freakin' bad. baby on the way, can't seem to get my photo biz growing fast enough. never enough money, barely making it. wife gets all over me tonight about stupid stuff and is now in her own part of the house. i feel just great! i'm in no mood for anyone or anything. there was a job i was tailing for a couple months. i went on 4 interviews with 14 PEOPLE! yes that is overkill, the company is stupid! long story.... but it was in the bag. i fit perfectly and the techs and admins who i met really like me. they needed someone to support their stupid executive floor. fine, i do that now at the board of trade....i'm in the stock exchange! i think i can handle pressure! they are all very excited. it was a done deal....2 weeks ago. but i didn't get the job because some bitch who had it out for my friend, who hooked me up with the interview, screwed things up for me. she hates my friend and was the reason he is no longer there a the co. she is some middle aged bitch who throws around what little power she has. he did all the project management work, she took the credit, when he confronted her saying he is the one who did the work, she lets him go. she knew i was going to start and she put a stop to it to get back at him. i was home free with a new job and now it's over, i just found out. i won't be starting on monday. if i was single and if i didn't have a baby on the way, i have to tell you, i would bail and move and get out of here. this isn't a pity party for me but after so many years i'm just beaten the hell down. never got signed: put hours, years, into practicing and marketing the music, never made a lot of money, just always barely made it. get laid off every 2 years due to buyouts and mergers, after all these years i'm tired of just barely making it. just wanted to rant a little, sorry. sure i know things could be so much worse but they could be so much better too. my wife keeps positive and my job situation just isn't affecting her. i have to remind her she will be in the street with me. she just says if it happens it happens. oh great! that's really easy! now i feel so much better. i'm tired of fighting for things i don't care about, such as a stupid job. if i was single, i would try and get myself a hot sugar momma and call it a freakin' day!

CosmicDebris · #2 11-18-2007, 09:42 PM

Things may seem ****ty right now but you do have alot to be thankful for. Positive wife who loves you, a baby that will change your life and will truly show you what love is.

I know how you feel as I have been there. May seem bad now but all will fade when you look into your childs eyes for the first time.

P. Aaron · #3 11-18-2007, 10:00 PM

Hey man, it's tough all over...and what would life be if it was all easy? Yeah that sounds like rah! rah! sophistry and to an extent it is.

But, life's nothing but difficulty, challenges and plenty of obstacles whether they're self-imposed or put there by others.

You know you have to keep on it. You can't quit.

supermau · #4 11-19-2007, 01:04 AM

Are you a reader? May I suggest the book "Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life" by Dr Wayne Dyer. You may find some insight. Sounds like you need some inspiration from somewhere.

Distantshore · #5 11-19-2007, 07:39 AM

I think many of us can relate to having thoughts like that. Hopefully better things are on the horizon.

Rotti · #6 11-19-2007, 08:02 AM

We all struggle from time to time. I'm going through some stuff right now myself. Just focus on what is important. Money is not it. A big house with a big mortgage, expensive toys, expensive cars, clothes, jewlery, none of that stuff matters and it wont make you happy.
Keep things simple. Thats the way to go IMHO.

caprile · #7 11-19-2007, 08:08 AM

You know? Now that your baby is on the way, all your complaining-ranting-bitching privileges are GONE

Mergers, middle aged bitches, or interviews with too many people are irrelevant. Now you have a bigger responsibility, so what you do is level every street and knock every door until you find a job. If you like it or not...also irrelevant.

Watch some CNN on Bangladesh. I'm sure you'll find that even flipping burgers isn't that bad.

I wish you good luck, but most importantly, I wish you strength to persist!

jb4674 · #8 11-19-2007, 09:22 AM

Hey man, you need to try and keep cool man, your wife needs to take priority at this point in time. Think of your baby and try to think positive. You can't be acting immature all the time because you don't get your way. Unfortunately, you didn't get the job, so you need to keep walking and keep your head high, otherwise you'll never be able to think straight and do good on an interview.

Sometimes things aren't as bad as they seem to be and you have to be thankful for what you have. Perhaps you might want to consider moving closer to family and look into changing careers, as it never hurts to go to school and get an education.

I started going to school seriously when I turned 30 (after getting laid off and partying too much), and did that for 4 years at nights while working full time during the days. I had to see my wife work part time in the weekends for 2 years and it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. So when I received my associates, I got a new job in the field I was going to school for and I told her that she was to quit her part time job, and she was happy to oblige. The next 2 years were difficult but I managed to finish school in september and now, we're close to seeing our newborn arrive.

Remember man, things happen for a reason, and you can't let yourself get bitter over a job you didn't get, no matter what the hookup was. Keep your chin up, think positive, and most of all pray for your family, and yourself, so that God can help you make the next move that will bring stability in your life.

Jimmy

jemplayer55 · #9 11-19-2007, 12:03 PM

Shredmaster..... I'm just gonna call it as I see it here. Just last November you thought you were going to be getting a divorce. http://www.jemsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=54479

Then six months ago you knew you were going to have job issues. http://www.jemsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=64027

But during this time you bought a house.... http://www.jemsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=64622

And decided "parenthood" with a woman who already brought a child into the relationship that was strained at best, was in your best interest.
http://www.jemsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=67720

Now you're whining about all the pressure and how tired you are!

Hey, it's nice to vent and share your "issues" with people, but why not discuss these feelings with your spouse or your family? (try your dad & bro) If you're going to say "because I don't want to stress or upset her"..... man, you are living in a pipe dream. If you two have any real communication she's already sensed something is up! As far as family.... if you're looking for sympathy you may not get it. Just some honest advice!

Bringing these issues up here probably won't get you any real solutions either. Those will be found by taking some "real" stock of your situations and actually doing something about them. And that shouldn't include taking on more responsibility that you clearly don't want or aren't ready to handle.

You've made some choices with what appears to be a "wait and see" approach. Kinda the "lazy mans" approach when you talk about some of the responsibilities you've chose to commit to in the last year.

I'm not sure you've learned to stop depending on everyone else for solutions to life's everyday issues yet.... Look, you seem pretty dependant on everyone else helping you find a good job. Then when things fall through it's always "someone else" or "something else" contributing to your delima.

After re-reading some of your posts I'm starting to wonder if you have some bipolar issues as one minute you're on top of the world and the next is total chaos.

Look.... take this all how you want. It's not intended to piss you off or put you down. If anything it's intended to get you to focus on what the real issues are, stop whining, sit down with real family and talk. And most importantly take some real action on getting a "life game plan" going. Dude, you're in your mid 30's.... it's time to start making decisions after you've given the situations you have created some serious thought.

As for anyone else who'd like to say I'm being too harsh..... whatever! Sometimes things need to be put in prospective and a little tough love and honesty handed out!

Shred..... best of luck with your problems, but there all part of life. Oh and check into the books by Dr. Wayne Dyer like "supermau" said. He has several you may benefit from. Try this one by him too.... "Pulling Your Own Strings"

shredmaster · #10 11-19-2007, 12:09 PM

i think you may be missing what i said. i don't expect things to be handed to me. that has never happened, not from friends, not from parents. everything i have i have because of me; schooling, my home, first car, etc. i work 50-60 hours a week at the day job and another 40 easily on my business. no time off, no weekends. weekends are spent on my biz. i never quit and don't plan to, it's not in me, especially with a baby on the way. Everything i have worked for can be lost if i don't get a job in the next 30 days and flipping burgers won't cover the mortgage, utils, our cars, etc. time is running out. i have been looking for work, but it hasn't happened yet. i know things are bad everywhere.

and jemplayer, yes, i was almost involved in a divorce, thanks for bringing that bad time up again, complete with links. what a stupid thing to do. shows what kind of a person you are. i take the lazy man's approach? to what? and i rely on others to get me a job? wrong again. this job was through a friend who heard something where he used to work. i guess you never got a job like that. it was my first time and it fell through. is it upsetting? yes, especially when i need money now! my house was signed on and money put down to start the build a couple months BEFORE i got word of the impending job loss. sorry dude but you're wrong. i'm a fighter, but i guess i can't have bad things in life going on without being bipolar. you don't know me. you have no idea what has gone on with me other than what i post here. What does it say about you: resurfacing someone else's misfortunes month by month. that says a lot about you. insecurity. i would never do that to anyone. i wish i had your good fortune. must be nice to have things flow so smoothly. perfect relationship, never been through mergers and hostile takeovers. this is my 4th in 8 years. you will have a mortgage payment in 30 days, i will not. please close this thread i'm out of here. sorry i ever shared anything here.

jemplayer55 · #11 11-19-2007, 12:55 PM

^^^^ whatever..... I don't depend on luck! I've made thing happen in my life thank you! Not been a victim of my own creation!

shredmaster · #12 11-19-2007, 01:01 PM

you are a victim of your own creation and choices. your choices create your life. i create my own destiny with the occasional bump in the road and right now it's a pretty large bump. i have also made thing happen in my life no thanks to anyone but me.

**jemsite** · #13 11-19-2007, 01:14 PM

sorry to hear Steve. i too am going to give you some tough love...

drop the defense mechanisms.

i hope you can find it in you to point yourself in the right direction. it's not a matter of quitting or placing blame but actually making steps towards a recovery. i consider you someone in the need of recovery. You're also not single but have a wife and soon a baby. I also believe you have the strength to overcome your self-inflicted problems - and not create new ones - once you become completely honesty with yourself & those around you. Either way until that is done you will never know your potential.

Unfortunately this is a classic example (to those reading) of being your own worst enemy. It's not important if you are doing it consciously or unconsciously. Revisiting the past as done above is not to be hurtful, but to hope you learn from it. We all hate to see this but you have compounding bad decision on bad decision on bad decision. Like clockwork. Even worse, you know this but still ignore your own instinct or good advice. I know when i type a reply (or read a helpful reply toward you) it's essentially a total waste of time because it will not help foster change.

Don't get me wrong, we all make bad moves.

I know myself, and alot of guys here are pulling for you and offer a sympathetic ear or words of advice. Sound advice that if people didn't care would not bother to offer. I also know sometimes people just need to bottom out before regrouping... maybe you need to flip burgers or lose the house to become enlightened -- and just as important for your spouse to become enlightened. Unfortunately i don't have every answer but i don't miss many problems. This one is fast reaching it's peak. Best regards... glen

jemplayer55 · #14 11-19-2007, 01:43 PM

Shred, I'm far from insecure in life by any stretch of your imagination.

As far as some of your posts and time-line.... lets just say that was all your choice to share!

I have had to start over more than once in my life.... it's never gotten easier either. Find and evaluate your resources and put them to work!

As far as the my bipolar comment..... many people verge on manic-depressive and never realize it. Often it leads them to making poor or hasty decisions regarding their life!

So as far as you getting pissed and posting insults, it's all fine with me if it'll help motivate you to find a good resolution to your situation. Nothing more than we all like to see.

jb4674 · #15 11-19-2007, 01:54 PM

Steve,

Glen has very valid points. I hope my earlier post didn't offend you, as I was simply trying to offer some advice to you. Remember that just because it may appear that everyone else on the other side is living large and without any problems, it only appears that way. People are faced with different problems everyday and, although most of them are different, in a way they can be just as important as yours.

If I can give you some advice again (and take it for what it is, as I'm not the fountain of advice or anything)...

If the time comes and you can't make payments on the house, either put it up for rent or talk to your lender, I'm sure they'll be able to work something out with you.

If you have to flip burgers to make ends meet, do it and move on. It won't be forever and it'll be an honest living. You were complaining that your business and music career hadn't taken off as you thought they would. Perhaps it may be time to get rid of some equipment to amass some cash for the upcoming future that lays just around the corner. I know that if I have to get a part time job at McDonalds to feed my kid and wife, I'll do it before she has to, and you better believe that I'll have no problems doing it either.

Although flipping burgers may be an option, I'm sure they have malls in chicago and you could work retail selling something.

Jimmy