What should I do? Life questions...

IbanezPrestigeBoy · #1 05-04-2006, 02:03 AM

Hey guys.

I'm at a weird time in my life. I'm a nineteen year old college student, and I work full time. I don't know what i want out of life, and nothing seems to captivate me. I wake up every day feeling useless, like I'm just going through the motions of life, leading no where.

My only real friend (many aquaintences, not to many people I trust or care about enough to consider a friend) is my girl friend of 3 years, and things have been weird lately, and It seems like I can't seem to fix them. And it makes me miserable, because I feel like I come home to an empty apartment at night, and like I'm all alone.

Like I said, I'm a college student, and I don't know what to do. i keep reading about people graduating from college only to find out that they can't find a job, have to take a job that they're way over qualified for, or work in a field completely different from what they went to school for. So I don't know if I want to stay in school any more. I can't stand reading all this liberal bs they feed me in school, any more, and all the other stuff just makes me question the purpose of college.
So I was thinking back to my high school days, when those G.I's would come in to school and talk about how great the army was, and how it gave them a sense of direction. Or how they were going through a time in their life (kind of like what I'm going through now) and the military made them feel invigorated. It gave them a sense of purpose. I feel like that's what i need.

I did well in high school, not spectacular. I'm an 85 average student, and I did 1120 on the SAT's.In college, I'm guessing I'm like a 3.0 or 3.2 student, though I'm still waiting on my transcript.
I was thinking about persuing entertainment law, but didn't know if it was right for me. And that's my whole problem. I don't know what I want to dedicate my life to.

I don't know what to do, and could go for some advice right now.
Thanks for reading my depressing rant,
Nik

**JJEMMER777** · #2 05-04-2006, 02:24 AM

Rare that someone at 19 knows what to dedicate their life to Nik!

Find your Mind-body-spirit connection.

Then listen to your heart

Paul_R · #3 05-04-2006, 02:56 AM

Gosh Nik...Don't you have an Ibanez guitar near you to cheer you up? Just kidding!
Still plenty of youth in ya Nik! Pursue what sounds fun to you. No shame in changing majors a few times--it's normal.

Now, you're in college and working full time...BEEN THERE! DONE THAT! It will kill your time for having more friends--if that's something bothering you. You're a busy man right now and probably overwhelmed with home work. Sounds like it's time to tap into some resources. It may be beneficial to meet with a career counselor at your school for guidance and self interest testing.

I'm just finishing my Masters of Science degree this June and I could write a whole book here talking about struggles, uncertainty, feeling hopeless...etc, over the past years. Personally, I think it's very important to continue education and gain experience in what you're interested in. Hang in there and keep us posted.

Paul

gu1tar · #4 05-04-2006, 02:57 AM

What should you do? Maintain course...

The (secret) purpose of college is to help you figure out what you want to do/be. I changed my major umpteen times in college and didn't know what I wanted to do until junior year when I took a Quantative Methods course that had Fortran programming and I realized that programming was simple and fun for me (although I no longer do it). Point being that you can like something that leads you to something better.

Don't feel bad though, most people are in your same predicament. Unfortunately colleges aren't equipped to actually help every student find what they are good at or give them career assessments and advice. Take a variety of classes and see what subjects interest you and what don't. Go to the career counseling center and talk to them. They should be able to provide you with books/magazines/advice on things that could help you.

I was in the military and got experience there and finished college on their dime and had a very good experience but you are better off completing college before going in the military than not. Better career potential and money. And FYI, those people who go to the campuses are going to lie their a$$ off to con people into joining. As recruiters will do. Talk to people you know or random people to get some truth about it. And the Air Force has the highest placement rate into civilian professional careers than the other branches as it mirrors them more closely.

If you are thinking about anything (like entertainment law) take a class like Business Law and see if you enjoy it. Again, that's the point of college where you get exposed to classes that you may or may not choose and some others you can pick just to see if it's your bag.

Davey · #5 05-04-2006, 03:57 AM

F*ck me, I'm 23 and I only just decided what I want to do. I've got it, but it's because it was so glaringly simple and it's been sat in front of my eyes that long I didn't notice.

Sounds like you've got your sh*t together anyway because at least you ARE in college and you ARE working, which is a heck of a lot better than what some people are doing (especially here in the UK.)

If you care about your girlfriend, try and get to the bottom of things with her and if you don't think it's going to work out STILL GIVE IT TIME. I've been through some really rough patches with my girlfriend because of the stupidest little problems that have escalated into something bigger and I thought "OK this is it now, time to split" but because I care I give it one last effort regardless and it has paid off in big time.

Sounds like you need to treat yourself. Get some cash together and take your girlfriend away for a weekend, or failing that, buy yourself a guitar or something!

And always bare in mind, you are doing better than most, you have money from your job and you are getting an education, there are hundreds of thousands of people out there that WISH they could be in your shoes. Just give it time, don't worry and it will sort itself out.

This really hits home with me because I was exactly in your situation, so I'm not blabbing on about nothing. Just take my advice, let things ride, stay positive and everything will come into alignment sooner rather than later.

Take it easy mate.

Davey · #6 05-04-2006, 04:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gu1tar

And FYI, those people who go to the campuses are going to lie their a$$ off to con people into joining. As recruiters will do.

Damn right. They are honing in on young guys (or girls) with not much direction because they're an easy target like our man here

klp2332 · #7 05-04-2006, 09:40 AM

stay in college. You will regret it if you dont.

Ant1981 · #8 05-04-2006, 10:45 AM

Definately stay in college. When you've done that course, or even now, look at hobbies, interests. Could any of those hobbies and interests lead to a career? If there is a course in in, then do it. If you like electrical stuff, do an electricians course. Maybe talk to friends and family and find out if there are any trades where you can get a bit of experience to open your eyes a bit on the other things you could do and enjoy that you never thought possible. Or if you're into recording, sound ect, do a sound engineering course or something, as obviously you're into music, guitar ect.

Just a few pointers there that I hope helps.

Ibanut · #9 05-04-2006, 11:05 AM

I'll offer some different advice from an old fart. Take it for what its worth.
If you hate the liberal college then maybe transfer to a more conservative school??? I personally would leave for a year and deal with the "what am I here for " questions you have. You can easily go back to school. Deal with the girlfriend during this time too. Maybe thats all you 2 need is some time together without the distractions and pressures of college. As far as the army goes welll if you want to be told what to do,where to do it and how to do it all day long then go for it. If you want to risk your life for the oil war then thats your choice. Take some time off dude. Get rid of some of that stress and get your head clear then chase your dream, but dont waste these years just going thru the motions of life. Get a plan,set some goals and then go go for them. Like I said take it for what its worth. There are too many people chaseing a dollar and not a dream and after years of doing this they discover that they made a mistake. Dont make there mistake. Take time off and clear you head and do some soul searching.

rickcard71 · #10 05-09-2006, 11:51 PM

TRUST ME, STAY IN COLLEGE!!! I'm still doing it at 34, PT (I started late, way late). It's hard to figure out what you want to do, but hopefully you will figure it out. I have so many interests, I get confused as well. But, try to focus on 1 or 2 things & have a back-up plan as well. Go for your dreams even if it seems out of reach, you are so young, you have plenty of time even if you fail at trying something that seems so far out of reach! Trust me you do. I do at 34, but the window is shrinking fast. Yes, it is hard to find a good job out there, but you will. Also, you need to find more friends, true friends! Because if your gf ever decides to leave you, you will have no one. Moreover, you don't want to stay with her just because she is your only "true friend," you need to be with her because she is the one for you & you are the one for her. The more people in your life the richer your life will be.

jimmi · #11 05-10-2006, 04:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IbanezPrestigeBoy

Hey guys.

I'm at a weird time in my life. I'm a nineteen year old college student, and I work full time. I don't know what i want out of life, and nothing seems to captivate me. I wake up every day feeling useless, like I'm just going through the motions of life, leading no where.

My only real friend (many aquaintences, not to many people I trust or care about enough to consider a friend) is my girl friend of 3 years, and things have been weird lately, and It seems like I can't seem to fix them. And it makes me miserable, because I feel like I come home to an empty apartment at night, and like I'm all alone.

Like I said, I'm a college student, and I don't know what to do. i keep reading about people graduating from college only to find out that they can't find a job, have to take a job that they're way over qualified for, or work in a field completely different from what they went to school for. So I don't know if I want to stay in school any more. I can't stand reading all this liberal bs they feed me in school, any more, and all the other stuff just makes me question the purpose of college.
So I was thinking back to my high school days, when those G.I's would come in to school and talk about how great the army was, and how it gave them a sense of direction. Or how they were going through a time in their life (kind of like what I'm going through now) and the military made them feel invigorated. It gave them a sense of purpose. I feel like that's what i need.

I did well in high school, not spectacular. I'm an 85 average student, and I did 1120 on the SAT's.In college, I'm guessing I'm like a 3.0 or 3.2 student, though I'm still waiting on my transcript.
I was thinking about persuing entertainment law, but didn't know if it was right for me. And that's my whole problem. I don't know what I want to dedicate my life to.

I don't know what to do, and could go for some advice right now.
Thanks for reading my depressing rant,
Nik

Totally been there. Don't worry. People that have many interests often have this problem and there is no one "correct" path.

I graduated from highschool a year early and wanted to take a year off to "find myself" but my parents would not pay for college unless I went right in. When I got there, I changed majors 2x before doing Biology...Not because I had a plan but because it came easy for me and I knew I could get a job out of college that would allow me to do other passions....Like guitar and racing (which I did for during the whole time I was in college and for years after I graduated). For the next 4-5 years I basically earned enough money to pay for guitar strings and to get me to the next race working as a research tech at the University where I went to school. While racing, I got to travel all over the country, meet a bunch of people that are now famous (some are now rich!!) and do things few have had the opportunity to do.

After a while I grew tired of that and developed interests the fields I was doing research in which is what I ultimately went back to school for....I am getting close to finally graduation and am about 6-7 years older than all my counterparts but, and here is the clincher, many of them seem to be unsure that they are on the right path while I am very sure. I would never have been able to take the time to do the things I did once I am out of school.

THe best advice I could really give is that you should look for something that you would do for free but gives you a good living. Unfortunatly for most of us that usually means something else besides music

) but you can find other things that pay well that you will have a passion for. Just have to be open to it. You should absolutely stay in school....If undecided, take a course out of every dept in the school and choose a major that is flexible. Usually Science, mathmatics, Pyschology will allow you to apply to most any graduate or professional school. Buisness and accounting (though boring to many ...including me) is also a very flexible degree that can pay pretty well with no further degree after school.

fettouhi · #12 05-11-2006, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by klp2332

stay in college. You will regret it if you dont.

+1

Regards

André

IbanezPrestigeBoy · #13 05-13-2006, 01:55 AM

Hey guys,

Thanks for all the advice. Things have been picking up lately and I've been feelign pretty good. The "wife" and I reconciled and everything's been smooth sailing as of late and we're both real happy.

Long hours from work and school have been getting the best of me, but as you other college students know, finals week is upon us, and I'm wrapping up now. Wish me the best of luck. I've considered what you guys said andfiled all my papers to come back to school next semester, as much as I may not want to. I realized that going to school now and banging out a Liberal Arts degree is better then sitting home, and that I have plenty of time to find out where I want to take my life.
I'm still scared of making the wrong decision as far as what I want to do with my life though. I want to have a career I will enjoy, that I'll be able to make a decent living off of, and I still don't know what I want to do.
Any way, it's really cool to have people that can give me an unbiased opinion and I appreciate all the input guys.

Thanks,
Nik

kirk · #14 05-13-2006, 12:33 PM

I'm 33 with 4.5 kids and a wife, been to college, 6 years in the Marine Corps, been around the world 2.5 times, and I still don't know what I want to be. There's nothing wrong with that IMHO, I guess life is a journey not a destination.

jaken777 · #15 05-13-2006, 01:46 PM

I lived in New York for 6 months, it's very hard to focuss on your life when the city just eats away at your spirit & sole, but you can make a change in yourself - staying positive all the time no matter how things are will help you in a big way! -don't dwell in the negitive because it only adds to the sadness you are feeling, talk to your girl friend more & go out & do lunch or dinner as much as you can enjoy each others company more & have some good love'n & sex, do more together that way you won't feel so down about things & it help's to pass the time, as for the Army as a job (no way!) you could end up dead in another cournty, get thru your schooling first - then pick a job that make's you happy, don't worrie about life to much bro just stay strong in every way you can be - that way you can be ready for anything life will dish out at you, (tell them devil's in your head to p!ssoff & let you be!) you only have one chance at life my bro so don't waist it!- Enjoy it while you can!

Cheers- Jake.