Help a young guitarist please.

[IbanezPrestigeBoy]

Hey Guys, some times when I play, I feel as if my pink and third finger are kind of doing there own thing, to the point where I have very little control over them. Are there any exercises you guys do in particular to help build strength and control in your fretting hand? Also, some times the cordination of my picking hand and my fret hand is a tad off and it can be quite frustrating. Can any of you guys suggest anything but sitting there and playing things over and over immensly slow or is that my only option, lol? Last things, Are there any really good instructionals out there that have really helped you guys out, I mean, I have the Petrucci, and Gambale's "Modes' No more Mystery" but that's it.
Thanks for listening to me whine like a little Bi-yatch.
Nick