theory jokes?

Dragon Slayer J · #1 10-18-2006, 06:43 PM

A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar...

The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, the E-flat
leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a
few drinks, the fifth is diminished: the G is out flat. An F comes in
and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. A D comes
into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me.
I'll just be a second." An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is
not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the
bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims:
"Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar
tonight." The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the
next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender
(who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized)
says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major
development." This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the
suit, and everything else, and stands there au naturel. Eventually,
the Flat G sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The G
is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution
of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an
upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the G is found
innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations
to the contrary are bassless. The bartender decides, however, that
since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom,
and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest -- and
closes the bar.

Roland · #2 10-18-2006, 07:17 PM

Heard it before...

Still makes me chuckle.

ChopTart · #3 10-18-2006, 07:37 PM

Brilliant!

mi2tom · #4 10-19-2006, 03:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roland

Heard it before...

Still makes me chuckle.

Yup! Still funny

IbanezGirl · #5 10-19-2006, 05:53 AM

That's very clever.

jemplayer55 · #6 10-19-2006, 12:15 PM

That's a good one...... Thanks.

**jemaholic** · #7 10-19-2006, 12:30 PM

tenor so patrons? gawwwwd.....
I thought he was sharper than that :^)

tTz · #8 10-19-2006, 03:59 PM

That is the second-most difficult joke to read that I've ever seen. Not bad though.

ChopTart · #9 10-19-2006, 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tTz

That is the second-most difficult joke to read that I've ever seen. Not bad though.

Indeed

You need to learn a reasonable bit before it begins to get funny - otherwise you just pick up on the "tenor" and "alto" jokes

**jemaholic** · #10 10-20-2006, 11:16 AM

Sometimes I wish I could augment my rest time so I could think up really sharp stories too, but my relatively diminished brain can't even note a G-string when it glissandos right in front of me.
G, I can't even space my signature between the lines without some baseless retard wanting to blow up my al Coda.

MetalZone · #11 10-20-2006, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChopTart

Indeed

You need to learn a reasonable bit before it begins to get funny - otherwise you just pick up on the "tenor" and "alto" jokes

LOL that was one tough joke but a good one! the guy who wrote it must have had too much time on his hands LOL

actually... funny I only didn't get the tenor and alto jokes... ermmm.... mind to interpret that?

ChopTart · #12 10-20-2006, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetalZone

LOL that was one tough joke but a good one! the guy who wrote it must have had too much time on his hands LOL

actually... funny I only didn't get the tenor and alto jokes... ermmm.... mind to interpret that?

Tenor was meant to be read as "ten or" and alto was meant to be read as "all too"

**jemaholic** · #13 10-21-2006, 08:22 AM

I remeber back in college we tried to make up those kinds of jokes....
(I was a piano major)
key word is TRIED, but i also remember we were in a perpetual Purple Haze which was probably detrimental to our logic patterns and reasoning abilities....

crevis · #14 10-26-2006, 09:31 PM

Ok, I found this one congrats if you can read it from start to finish..

You can Telemann by where he likes to live. I just Toch a trip Orff into one of the Wilder areas Faure Wieck, and to be Verdi Franck, it nearly drove Menotti.

I know opinion Varese, but even Vivaldi urban noises, the Bizet traffic, De Falla engines, as well as knowing there are Mennin the streets Callas enough to knock your Bloch off. I couldn't resist the urge to Galuppi home early Satie, and I Haieff to say I Still prefer the Mitropoulos. The Boyce were Sor that I had Gibbons up and succumbed to the Riegger of the Field so easily, but I don't give a Schuetz.

I was practically Krein from my Severacs and Pains brought on by that brief time in the countryside! Even the sounds got my Dandrieu up; let me Liszt some of them: the Rorem of the wind, a constant Birtwhistle, the Menuhin of the Katz, the Lipatti-Patti-Glinka-Poulenc of the Reiner on the roof, the Gluck-Gluck of the hens, and every morning a woodpecker or some Byrd Chopin holes in a Tree. My only company was a Thorne Busch, a Partch of poison Ives, a Braun Babbit, and sometimes a Wolf, nothing Moore. For a Forrest Grainger it may be Fine - it may be the Katz Milhaud — but I could have died of Borodin. A friend suggested my making this Tureck; "Abegg" his pardon, but I will never go Bach to those Gotterdaemmerung Hillis. They Suk!

No, I don't care for the Ruggles life. I like a good Mehul - a little Suppe, some Szigeti, maybe some Salome at my local Taverner with a little lime Schubert after (even if they don't always clear the Crumbs off the table). And I like to Locatelli while I'm Eaton Maderna at night. Is that asking for Egk in Meyerbeer?

Nono! So many people Berio themselves under a Holst of problems they know they can't Handel. Their answer is too Offenbach to nature - into Haydn, it seems to me. I Karajan a d'Indy life in the Berg for the most Paert. Maybe it isn't Perle Bliss for everybody, but it's Godunov for me.