A song of mine for an important school project

[franc666]

Hello everyone!

I don't write much on the boards, mostly a lurker, but this time I need some help.

I'm in an international program at the equivalent of high school here in Quebec, and for the last year we have a "personal project" to realise so we can get our IBO diploma. I decided to write an instrumental piece on the theme of an epic death, like you could see in Lord of the Rings or any epic movie where a hero dies.

We also have to keep everything in a journal, so now is the time where I have to get my piece evaluated, and the best way is to get it evaluated by people I do not necesserely know so the opinions are not biased. Anyways, I turned to you guys .

Here is my piece, the name is a bit cheesy, but whatever, the recording quality of the guitar isn't the best (miced my Peavey XXX with some Sony mic) but I decided anyways to only give in the sheet music when I'm handing in my project.

I would appreciate if you guys could read my post and post a full review on the piece, since it's really important for my obtention of the IBO diploma. Here are a few questions which you could try to answer :

1. Can you feel the theme (epic death) through the piece? Mostly the melodies and the ambience created with the keyboard.

2. Is my piece technically developped, as in if there is different techniques used?

3. A general review on the piece, it's structure and melodic build up.

Thank you very much for your time, it is really appreciated and please feel free for any criticism as I'm open minded

http://s44.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=3...Z01VKR1SF0ZQ39

Thanks again,

François Suter

[einarabelc5]

Just two things, and only judging like a listener here (as if I wouldnt play).

The mai Riff sounds like if you were gonna play Sorrow by Pink Floyd. Maybe change it a little bit.

In the middle of the song when u go an octave higher dont pick the notes so much, let 'em slide (not your finger, the note) (think of it as a violin) it'll make it sound sadder so it'll make the desired effect. (I'll add another part with two transitions (1 at the begginig of the part and one at the end(this last one could mean relief). In this added part try this: try to cry desperately (try some wammy efects and stuff like FTLOG, of course with another purpose, but I think you get the point)... Then transit to the ending you already have.

Wish ya success.

[ibanezcollector]

I think the image is conveyed quite well but that one little bit of tapping needs to go, it just doesnt fit at all.

Good job

[vette6600]

Originally Posted by ibanezcollector

I think the image is conveyed quite well but that one little bit of tapping needs to go, it just doesnt fit at all.

Good job

my thoughts exactly.

[EL-CeeDee]

I would suggest some elaboration on the orchestration. The simplicity works well, but it was one true hero that is dying...
tapping indeed needs to go, if you would like to include it anyway, create a buildup, both guitar and orchestration wise.
It might be interesting, though I don't know if you project involves it, to start a little sooner in time, before the hero dies.
From there you can express the whole spectrum of feelings associated with the death. Anger, frustration, helplessness, acceptance, etc. all the way up to his last breath.

Just my two cents..

[franc666]

Thanks guys! I'll work on the 2nd version.

[EL-CeeDee]

How's the song coming Franc ?

[franc666]

Will work on it as soon as I can, have other school work to give in this week, so I'll rearrange it next week or something.