Rewriting an old solo, need advice. Right direction?

[wilch]

Hey guys,

I'm heading into the studio in Feb to record some new songs and re-record some old stuff that I recorded back in 2001 as well as some new stuff.

I've been not-too-happy with the original solo that I recorded for this one song to say the least. It's kinda off-key, boring, and yuck.

So I sat down and tried some stuff out tonight. The best I could come up with is the following:
New Solo - test (327 KB)
Please excuse some of the wrong notes, etc. I'm not that good at improv'ing, and this was the first thing that I put down. It's very, very unplolished. I can fix it up. But can't be bothered at the moment. I want to change it more.

So here I am, with my pants down so to speak. Please don't be too harsh.

Here's the original recording:
Original Solo - recorded in 2001 (287 KB)

Any ideas? Am I heading in the right direction? I'm thinking I want to create more movement but I only have a few bars to work with.

Cheers,
wil..

edit: Almost forgot! Hope everyone is having a very Merry Christmas Eve!!

[wilch]

no comments, I guess it must really suck.
Ah well.

EDIT: Just listened to it again... Yup... really sucks....

[Swirly]

Hmm not sure what to say, maybe try and fit it in with the rythm guitar by focusing more on that note (whatever chord is being plyed) , to me the solo aint to bad, but i just dont feel like it feel fits in with the backing, esp that fast run at the end, the timming dosnt sound right to me with the rythm guitar.

Sorry i couldnt suggest more

[wilch]

Thanks Swirly, that's a good idea! I think I will focus on that chord (it's like a high G bar chord with a D base).

heh, re-working solo's on Christmas. Ahh well, what can ya do