auditions for new band member/s good or bad let hear em

[Out Of This Swirled]

Okay a few years back, me a drummer and a bass player needed a vocalist, for our new metal band "craving" (sounds a bit Gaay now, anyway) we turned up and the rehearsal rooms and the guy had gotten a lift with the bass player. we had a quick chat and then set up. the guy said he played guitar , mainly rhythm, but he had no guitar, so I took one of mine up for him to play.
We started to jam to a few of the songs/riffs and the guy said what do you want me to do? So we said just play along if you can and maybe add some vocals or some scatting of notes, some kinda melody. Anyway, we played and nothing, he just stood there, like a statue?
We stopped playing and asked him what he wanted to do, and the drummer suggested playing a song he knew, so we started playing a number, I cant remember what it was, but then the guy started going mental!!!! He started hammering the guitar and thrashing his fret hand randomly around whilst he hammered his picking hand into the strings like he was attempting to break them all!! I took a big step backwards as he looked like that guy out of Jacobs ladder!! no shiit!! He was now mobile and he was getting faster, then he started polluting the airwaves with some maniacle noises ranting into the mike like a madman!!!
The bass player looked worried and he was a air crash investigator! The drummer was some how managing to back away from this guy??? We all felt like he was going to explode, I think the only way we could have been more worried by him is if he pulled a gun. Anyway mid tornado of guitar and vocal abuse he decided to start spinning violently around not concerned with other people in the room loosing teeth to his headstock, No! not him, he was in the moment!! Living the dream. Anyway he must have been used to playing wireless because suddenly the wires we around his legs and waste they then pulled him and the amp head together where he hit the floor then my guitar then the amp head on top of him, hitting my guitar!!! We had already stopped playing the moment he started spinning like a black hole does, he extricated himself from the amp and the wires and handed me my guitar. We were booked for a 3 hour session, we were only 10-15 minutes in and it was all over. Anyway he turned to us and said that he had to go now?????? And I swear to god and all that I hold true he said that he needed to wash his hair as he was going out tonight!!! And he needed a lift back. We’d been there 15 minutes of a 3 hour session we were 15 miles from home and it was like 3 in the afternoon, and he had to wash his hair for the evenings drugging I expect?
I asked him if he was serious about us giving him a lift back and he said yeah. I gave him a quid told him to fucc off and get the bus.
Now all that said, I give the guy a 110% for presence!!
Yeah, call me crazy but he’s still in the band!

[Brosa]

Okay, here's one from my vault:

12 years ago i was in a symphonic metalband a la Dream theater called 'Jaywalkin'.
We needed a good drummer and put up an add for a good double bass drummer. A guy named Leon called and we made an appointment for an audition. This guy Leon was like 30 minutes late and he came in with his mom. Leon was like in his 40's but was still living at his parents house and had no drivers licence. His mom drove him to places.
Okay... we thought. Let's hear his drumming. Perhaps he's good.
Leon forgot his drumsticks. No problem. I got a few spare ones in my case. He drummed for like two seconds and then said he was a little rusty..
Okay... we thought. Let's give this a chance.
A few seconds later we broke off, b/c Leon had NO sense of rhythm. We told him this wasn't going to work and said goodbuy to him. We decided all to drink a beer and Leon walked to his mom and asked if he could borrow some money for a beer...

[bammbamm]

Those are both good.
Leon sounds a bit scarier to me than the tornado...

I went to an audition for a 'band' which consisted of a singing guitarist and a drummer, no bass because he was sick or something. Anyway, the drummer lets me in his house, which was in various states of demolition and looked like it'd been that way for a while and they just got used to it. I go down stairs to the odoriferous waftings of cat crap all over the basement floor. "Litter box, shmitter box". I was replulsed but for some stupid reason I forged on. I found an un-christened location for my amp, on a folding chair.
The guitar/ singer shows up and is a flat out tool-looking sales guy with all the attitude of a singer and salesman rolled into a neat package, YIPPEEE ! ! !
So he plugs in his jag-stang and goes on and on about his influences (Mainly Muse) and how great they are and how I should check them out, etc. He plugs in and starts banging out some poorly played chords at a semi rhythmic pace. The drummer sort of kicks in and the guy starts crooning but with the sound of a cat in heat. This goes on and I'm hoping it will get better at some point, with the guy trying to coach me through what he seems to be making up on the spot. A few times of that with various "songs" and he wants to talk again. I'm telling him it doesn't seem to be what I'm looking for etc, when he begins to pull out a cig and light up when the drummer starts yelling, " No, No, noone lights up in my house! To which I reply, "Yeah, you don't wanna mask the smell of cat SH*T." He says, "What?!" ME, "Nothing.", as I start to pack up.

As I'm leaving, another guy is bringing in his stuff, I tell him "Watch out for the cat Sh*t" and he just gives me a look like, 'yeah, right'... I wish I could have seen his face when he saw I wasn't kidding.

Another time, my band was between singers and we had a guy come out who thought he was Geoff Tate. He sounded ok, but wanted us to pay him each time...
Pfffft... I wonder how many bands he was working with that ploy?

[mike570]

Originally Posted by bammbamm

Another time, my band was between singers and we had a guy come out who thought he was Geoff Tate. He sounded ok, but wanted us to pay him each time...
Pfffft... I wonder how many bands he was working with that ploy?

I heard this one before. Must have been the same guy moved up to your neck of the woods. Ah, the 80's and early 90's! So many Geoff Tate wannabes! So little time! None of them could measure up, of course. I can't watch American Idol for this reason, especially early in the season. Too much trauma!

Originally Posted by guitarnutteruk

I gave him a quid told him to fucc off and get the bus.

Classic!

I can't recall any specific stories now, but there have been a few times where I was warry in someone's house because they gave me the creeps. I try to stick to rehearsal studios.