Opinions on my lyrics please

[MALAM]

noooooo

[Ferrous Lepidoptera]

Too cryptic, but maybe that's what you're going for.

[MALAM]

Thanks for the comment

[Two hands31]

I like it. I kinda get a meaning out of it, but it's vague enough to allow others to find their own meanings. I'd be interested in hearing the music that goes with it to get an idea as to how it would be sung, etc.

[GiantBaba]

I like it. Takes guts to post stuff personal song lyrics on a large public forum, I admire that. But, twohands is right, a song without music is a poem. I'd like to hear some instruments.

[Fire]

Well I think BSBoys lyrics are much better than mine. From what I've read, I imagine the song would be a fast nu-metal song - something in the style of Papa Roach perhaps...

Anyway here's an excerpt from one of my songs "Days Go By" just so you know what I'm comparing with:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Verse:
And In Those Days, When We Did Share Our Lives.
My Life Was Blessed To Have Been By Your Side
And Of The Wrongs That Were Done On Both Sides
And All The Times That I Though I Was Right

Bridge:
I’d Only Have Myself To Blame
Couldn’t See Then
Now I Ask Why

Chorus:
And Still The Days Go By-y-y
They’ve Borne You Into, And Out Of My Life
Forever Thinking How
I Could Have Loved You Then As I Do Now
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------