Daughters and dating - Page 5

andy7jem · #61 04-24-2008, 06:40 PM

Silver Sable, you ROCK

You talk a LOT of sense

I do get where you are coming from Darin, and i wasn't upset or name calling. Just putting forward opinions.

As far as a morality "base" for judgements,when it comes to sex there is a legal age. If the people are of legal age then it is THEIR decision to make. It is the duty of the parent to hopefully have raised them balanced enough to make the right decision FOR THEMSELVES (either to do it OR NOT, i'm not saying they should).

The tricky part is, some may feel they are ready enough before that age, while others clearly aren't ready enough even after that age. It is up to the parent to know their kids as people and not just be the disciplinarian. To raise kids to be decent human beings you have to understand their thoughts and feelings.

MicahC · #62 04-24-2008, 07:32 PM

I'm a sixteen year old guy. A sixteen year old child. I acknowledge that I know basically nothing about the world around me. I've been presented with sooo many situations where I could've had sex, but didn't. I really really really really really really really (really)wanted to, but I didn't. Why? I've seen what it has done with other kids.

I've seen girls that think that guy they're with at the time is "the guy". They screw him and then after they break up the regret it so much. This one so much that she got seriously depressed.

I've had classes where it shows some really nasty stuff STD's can do to you. Horrible things. God.....gonorrhea is nasty. Anyway...

I've seen and heard lots of stuff and even had some of my close friends regret it.

In my eyes, these kids are just plain stupid. They think they're ready to make this choice, but they're really not. I'm not putting down any of you guys that did it when you were my age, but the kids I've seen have really regretted it.

I know that I'm not ready to make that decision, and I know I probably won't be ready for a long while.

Anywho....just my comment.

waylay00 · #63 04-24-2008, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MicahC

I'm a sixteen year old guy. A sixteen year old child. I acknowledge that I know basically nothing about the world around me. I've been presented with sooo many situations where I could've had sex, but didn't. I really really really really really really really (really)wanted to, but I didn't. Why? I've seen what it has done with other kids.

I've seen girls that think that guy they're with at the time is "the guy". They screw him and then after they break up the regret it so much. This one so much that she got seriously depressed.

I've had classes where it shows some really nasty stuff STD's can do to you. Horrible things. God.....gonorrhea is nasty. Anyway...

I've seen and heard lots of stuff and even had some of my close friends regret it.

In my eyes, these kids are just plain stupid. They think they're ready to make this choice, but they're really not. I'm not putting down any of you guys that did it when you were my age, but the kids I've seen have really regretted it.

I know that I'm not ready to make that decision, and I know I probably won't be ready for a long while.

Anywho....just my comment.

Yep, as a fellow sixteen year old (granted, I'm not a parent), that's exactly what I think.

Darin · #64 04-24-2008, 08:02 PM

Did no one tell you that sex wasn't a sin? Sex before marrige. Not ok, sex after marrige? Fun fun fun. If you only get half the message. I can see why it would be a problem. It should be something to look forward to.

Still, only one person has touched the subject. Would you care if your daughter wanted to get involved sexually with more than just her b/f? Is there a limit? Does the law trump morality? If they lowered the age of consent would you lower your age of consent? If the law raised it to 21, would you?

CosmicDebris · #65 04-24-2008, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darin

Sex before marrige. Not ok.

Darin, that statement is just ignorant.

Darin · #66 04-24-2008, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Darin, that statement is just ignorant.

wow, that's a very compelling argument. I knew it would reduce itself to that. The sign of a poor argument is name calling. Thank you for making your 'point' so clear. And I'm going to respectfully disagree.

CosmicDebris · #67 04-24-2008, 08:46 PM

I didn't call you a name I just said that your statment was ingnorant. I glady agree to disagree.

Darin · #68 04-24-2008, 09:16 PM

I'll buy that. Afrer rereading your statement. You are correct.

CosmicDebris · #69 04-24-2008, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darin

I'll buy that. Afrer rereading your statement. You are correct.

Do I get a prize?

Darin · #70 04-24-2008, 10:02 PM

no prize. but if you could qualify your statement with a some more opinion, that would be helpful. you clearly think there is nothing wrong with underage daughters having sex with their b/f's. my question is. at what age do you think is acceptable for teens to have sex and their parents to mind their own business? and is there a limit to the number of times or partners?

I will add. Since the parents are responsible (in part, at least financally) for the actions of their minor children. As in crimes commited etc. And since a parent can forbid a minor child to get a drivers liscence and stay out all night etc. How does the enormous risk of financial cost as well as health risk fall out of the parental power to control in minor children. A child cannot enter a motocross race, other risky sporting event without parental consent. Or see an R movie. Or do a lot of things.

The culture of he day says it's ok. Your weenie says it's ok. She may say it's ok. But it isn't. Period.

Are you opposed to the polygamist cult in the news? Men marrieng teen girls. If the teen girls consented, are you ok with that?

CosmicDebris · #71 04-24-2008, 10:19 PM

WTF? You made a claim that sex before marriage was wrong and I said your statement was ignorant.

Now you have totally gone to left field with what I said. What part of my comment had anything to do with underage childeren having sex? How I raise my children is none of your business.

Now to the discussion you so want to have but tried to drive off the road with.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darin

Sex before marrige. Not ok

What is wrong with two consenting adults haveing sex before they are married. Did you drive your truck before buying it? Have you ever had sex while not being married?

You need to get a grip and read a tad more carefully.

Moibanez · #72 04-24-2008, 10:43 PM

I have never met ANYONE who didn't have sex before they were married.

I am so happy I have three boys!!!!!!!!!!

I just tell them to be careful, and make sure they pull it out and aim for the face..

CosmicDebris · #73 04-24-2008, 10:47 PM

I may be laughing right now but mebby you should step away from the PC for a bit. Not that it isn't good advice.

Zero 7 · #74 04-24-2008, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darin

2 funny things. 1 is how people read into statements what they want. 2 is people without kids thiinking they have a clue.

My kids aren't objects. But for comparitive purposes, I used something you might value, such as a rare, pricey and special guitar and the possibility that you might be a bit protective. Some people would let a boy they don't know date there daughter for an evening. But wouldn't let the same boy they don't know take their prized guitar.

Making the statement that someone might enjoy something is a poor excuse for accepting it. They might enjoy speeding, drinking and smoking pot. They might enjoy group sex. Do you want your teen daughter engaging in those things? Even if she enjoys it and something positive might be said to come from it? Wanting to do something, and the acceptance of it by others does not make it proper, right, or acceptable.

a) It's not up to you. It's up to your daughter because SHE IS ABLE TO MAKE A CHOICE, unlike your guitar.

b) SEX IS NOT A BAD THING!!!! Bloody hell. It does NOT deserve to be in the same list as speeding and drinking. I have enjoyed wonderful, consensual sex since I was 15 and have had a wonderful time. Me and my girlfriend are both at very good universities, we've never had any problems, and for all purposes are model young adults. Any parent would be proud to have brought up my girlfriend. She's sensible, careful, and we have never taken any risks with sex. Sex here is 100% good. No risk, all fun.

Where's the harm?

Zero 7 · #75 04-24-2008, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by andy7jem

Not wanting to sound like an ass, but it sounds like you want your daughters to live the life you want them to live and not what they might want to live.

The trouble with most religious people is that they view their beliefs as absolutely right and dismiss people who disagree. As a non religious person i can respect all peoples views!
There is nothing dirty, immoral or wrong with sex. Even sex outside marriage. Expecting people in todays times to live up to outdated religious expectations causes nothing but bad feeling and trauma. NO-ONE should be made to feel guilty for two adults having consensual sex so long as no other parties are involved.

Sure....we'd all like to have that virgin

But i would rather be with a girl that had experienced life and chose me as being the one she knew she wanted above all others, than have the trophy virgin who one day wonders what she missed out on.

Wow, absolutely. Great post, Andy.