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post #136 of 442 (permalink) Old 11-02-2006, 07:01 AM
Dag
 
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Re: Favourite jokes?

latina's soap opera, brother n' sister in bedroom after spontaneous intercourse...

sister: mmm Alfonso- you're better than father
brother: Yaah, I know.. momma told me.
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post #137 of 442 (permalink) Old 11-02-2006, 12:13 PM
 
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Re: Favourite jokes?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jemplayer55 View Post
Butch the Rooster

The result ... The judges not only awarded Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well. Clearly, Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?
Brilliant
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post #138 of 442 (permalink) Old 11-04-2006, 07:40 AM
 
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Re: Favourite jokes?

What's grey and comes in pints?



An elephant

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post #139 of 442 (permalink) Old 11-04-2006, 01:57 PM
 
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Re: Favourite jokes?

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post #140 of 442 (permalink) Old 11-05-2006, 03:06 PM
 
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Re: Favourite jokes?

Can you name 5 Kings that have given people pleasure?





I can





drinking
Licking
sucking
w***ing
F***ing

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post #141 of 442 (permalink) Old 11-08-2006, 02:31 PM
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Re: Favourite jokes?

Why do blondes have huge bellybuttons?












Because they like blonde men.
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post #142 of 442 (permalink) Old 11-09-2006, 03:46 PM
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Re: Favourite jokes?

A blonde police officer pulls over an elderly lady for speeding. When the blonde officer approaches the drivers side door, she asks the driver for her license and car registration. The lady driver hands the young officer her compact, open with the mirror side showing.
The officer looks in the mirror, hands it back to the driver, and says, "I'm sorry Mam, if I knew you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over."
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post #143 of 442 (permalink) Old 11-09-2006, 03:49 PM
 
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Re: Favourite jokes?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jim777 View Post
A blonde police officer pulls over an elderly lady for speeding. When the blonde officer approaches the drivers side door, she asks the driver for her license and car registration. The lady driver hands the young officer her compact, open with the mirror side showing.
The officer looks in the mirror, hands it back to the driver, and says, "I'm sorry Mam, if I knew you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over."
Good one!
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post #144 of 442 (permalink) Old 11-09-2006, 04:32 PM
 
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Re: Favourite jokes?

A guy gets pulled over for speeding.
Officer approaches the car: "Can I see your license and registration please?"
Driver: "Ha ha, didn't think you'd keep up with me doing 115mph in a 60-zone!"
Female riding shotgun: "Oh, don't listen to him, he's always like that when he's drunk"
First rear passenger: "Dude, I never thought we'd get this far in a stolen car!"
Second rear passenger: "Hey, officer. Nice 9-millie... though it's nothing compared to this .44 Magnum."
Voice from the trunk: "Have we arrived at the border yet?"
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post #145 of 442 (permalink) Old 11-10-2006, 01:01 PM
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Re: Favourite jokes?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dannymills View Post
Why do blondes have huge bellybuttons?












Because they like blonde men.
*Because blonde guys are stupid, too.

~ Katrina
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post #146 of 442 (permalink) Old 11-10-2006, 09:06 PM
 
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Re: Favourite jokes?

Quote:
Originally Posted by katrina View Post
*Because blonde guys are stupid, too.

~ Katrina
Dumb blondes?
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post #147 of 442 (permalink) Old 11-12-2006, 08:25 AM
 
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Re: Favourite jokes?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roland View Post
A guy gets pulled over for speeding.
Officer approaches the car: "Can I see your license and registration please?"
Driver: "Ha ha, didn't think you'd keep up with me doing 115mph in a 60-zone!"
Female riding shotgun: "Oh, don't listen to him, he's always like that when he's drunk"
First rear passenger: "Dude, I never thought we'd get this far in a stolen car!"
Second rear passenger: "Hey, officer. Nice 9-millie... though it's nothing compared to this .44 Magnum."
Voice from the trunk: "Have we arrived at the border yet?"


Regards

André
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post #148 of 442 (permalink) Old 12-01-2006, 11:39 PM
 
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Re: Favourite jokes?

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the
ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order "That will be
$9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out
the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says,
"A hamburger, fries and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress?
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a
salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir.
How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic
and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put
my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something,
but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?" The man sighs, pauses and answers.....
"My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."
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post #149 of 442 (permalink) Old 12-02-2006, 12:52 AM
 
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Exclamation Re: Favourite jokes?

WARNING! *EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT*

OK, this is*not* for minors, so I'll just post the link:

http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_37.htm

It's one of the best jokes I ever heard. LOL

Regards,

JP
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post #150 of 442 (permalink) Old 12-02-2006, 12:55 AM
 
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Re: Favourite jokes?

^^^^ Good one!
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