Favourite jokes?

[Davey]

Pretty self explanatory, what are your favourite jokes?

Mine would have to be...

Q. What did the leper say to the prostitute?

A. Keep the tip

[plyta]

Junkies having a conversation: Yesterday I was hunting. Somehow we didin't hunt down anything. I don't understand: Did the ducks fly too high, or did we throw the dog too low?

[fono22]

You know you're old when...

....your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"

[jim777]

Punchline: the Aristocrats! (the joke itself is waaaay to dirty for telling)

[Davey]

Originally Posted by jim777

Punchline: the Aristocrats! (the joke itself is waaaay to dirty for telling)

Isn't that the one where loads of people read it and it has something to do with South Park? I can't recall it off the top of my head.

[Chris777]

How do you make a whore moan??? .... You don't pay her

[damo7v]

Originally Posted by Chris777

How do you make a whore moan??? .... You don't pay her

next time you tell that one, spell it "hormone".

[Chris777]

^^ Yeah, maybe. But I think the joke works both ways. There is also an alternate ending but it might be a lttle to dirty.

[jim777]

Originally Posted by Ibanez249

Isn't that the one where loads of people read it and it has something to do with South Park? I can't recall it off the top of my head.

It's a joke about a family act that goes to a talent agency looking for work.

[fettouhi]

Originally Posted by jim777

Punchline: the Aristocrats! (the joke itself is waaaay to dirty for telling)

Yeah heard that about the whole movie. When they showed it back home people in the theater ended up pucking.

Regards

André

[jim777]

Originally Posted by fettouhi

Yeah heard that about the whole movie. When they showed it back home people in the theater ended up pucking.

Regards

André

I have no idea what you're talking about. The whole movie?

[fettouhi]

Originally Posted by jim777

I have no idea what you're talking about. The whole movie?

Sorry I thought you meant the movie "The Aristocrats".

Regards

André

[Algiman]

Originally Posted by fettouhi

Sorry I thought you meant the movie "The Aristocrats".

Regards

André

The movie is based on a very old joke. The point is that the Arisocrats joke is very filthy and there are hundreds of variations about.

The joke is a bit Derek and Clive.

[Davey]

lmao!

[mi2tom]

here's mine
Lulu was a prostitute.
One day there was a raid.
All the prostitutes were lined up outside the police station as they took
them in one by one.
As Lulu stood in line, she saw her Grandma coming down the street and was so ashamed, Grandma didn't know her occupation.
Grandma stopped to say hi, and asked what the line was for.
Lulu, saving face, said that the police were giving away fresh oranges to those waiting.
Grandma said wonderful, she loved oranges and got at the end of the line.
When the policeman got to the end and saw her, he was amazed.
He said "How the heck do you do this at your age?"
She said "I just take out my teeth, rip the skin back and s*ck'em dry!"

The policeman fainted