Women ... (small rant - no hurt intended)

Fender868 · #1 01-07-2008, 11:01 PM

Women... we men need em', yet sometimes we just wanna shoot em'.

I am so hurt badly right now that it makes me wonder why i had to go put my finger in the fly trap so quickly. I hooked things up again with an ex girlfriend of mine. Summer break up had been bad and really stupid, so since we were kinda getting into each other, we decided to give it another shot. When we broke up, she claimed she had trouble dealing with the fact that we fought some times. But fighting is normal isn't it ? Hell i'd be worried if we didn't argue. This girls' problem is she is as dumb as a bag of bricks. God she always thinks she is right, just as much as i do, but when there is fault placed i pay my dues and admit myself to be wrong. She on the other hand always says its me and when i recall such instances where she was clearly out of line, she then goes ahead and blames me of always putting the blame on her. It makes my brain fry!

Today something dumb happened. She was being distant and i asked why. Biggest ****ing mistake. We get into a little arguement and she over blows it to gigantic **** proportions. I am talking about 2 tons of bull****. I start apologizing fearing that this **** would get bigger. And then she gave me the silent treatment. she claims she is pissed and can't just forget about it. She asked me to drive her home and that was it. I've been aching all day. I hate this so much - it's driving me insane. I love the girl and she loves me , but something tells me she is taking it so bad that she's just gonna fall out of love. Which sucks for me cause it's always me getting the **** end of the stick. For once i'd like to fall out of love and call it quits. Life was better before i came back to her. I had plenty of good times, no falling in love and unforgettable memories.

I could go on forever, but il stop here to save bandwidth.

I love her tons, i show it everyday, everything she needed i have given her , i am always there when she needs a shoulder to rest on and i am always there for her when she needs my help. I hate feeling like i am counting the deeds, but in comparison, i've practically given her the world even though i knew she only needed me to be happy, and in return, when something silly happens, i get this.

Now i hope things will be fine. She said to give her some time.

I don't know what to do, and i guess maybe i could use some advice if anyone cared to read over my pathetic feelings lol.

thanks anyways

CosmicDebris · #2 01-07-2008, 11:17 PM

In reading all that sure seems like she isn't the one. Perhaps you should spend some time with Rosie Palm. She never says no, no headaches, never tired, and always does what you tell her. If your lucky she will vite her evil twin Leftina to join in.

On the shooting part. While I do not under any circumstances condone violence I understand what turns Mr. Hand into Mr. Fist. Always count to ten and breath deep.

Darin · #3 01-07-2008, 11:17 PM

Sorry for all that brother. I remember being heart broken. It was the worse. Thankfully married 20 years now. Love is worth it. When you find the person and it all just clicks, it's magic and wonderful.

shreddersymphony · #4 01-07-2008, 11:25 PM

+1 Darin...I've gone through so many girls that just werent right, and now I think I finally found the right one. I think the key to finding the perfect person is NEVER to settle and dont negotiate on things that are incredibly important to you. That doesnt mean its ok to completely ignore a girl thats incredibly right for you in every way except some little thing, but it does mean that for instance if insecurity is a giant turn off/problem, or jealousy, or control issues etc etc that seeing that in a girl should lead you to make the right decision and move on.

Rotti · #5 01-07-2008, 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fender868

I love her tons, i show it everyday, everything she needed i have given her , i am always there when she needs a shoulder to rest on and i am always there for her when she needs my help.

She will fall hard for some guy who treats her like crap. Thats how it works. NICE GUYS FINISH LAST.

reguv760 · #6 01-07-2008, 11:58 PM

ahh yes... that's why we love our guitars... we can't quite express our anger verbally so we end up playing dark and heavy riffs

fender... i'm a few years near my 30s and every girl I've dated were wrong and end up showing their own issues and problems that are beyond society's norm... every girl I don't want to date end up liking me and the one's I do want to spend a moment with [and who are partially "normal"] run away... why oh why and what have I done to deserve such bs... like Rotti says... i guess nice guys do finish last... :\
point is: keep on hunting and have a backup plan to the backup plan... in the meantime, write a song to keep your mind busy for a bit
And now I'll go back to spending my money on more useful things... like a midi pedal

ps:
shredder, great advice... i'll keep that in mind next time i meet someone wonderful (or by the will of... a change of heart)

Reg

guitvai1 · #7 01-08-2008, 12:05 AM

You have to STOP caring so much and see where that leads her. The way she's treating you sounds an awful lot like the psychological games people play to control you.

shredmaster · #8 01-08-2008, 12:22 AM

i was in something very similar years ago. she wound up leaving me...very long story....but it was the best thing ever for me! not at the time! at the time i was really devastated....but reading what you posted brings back nasty crazy f'd up bad memories. it's hard for you to see it but i can see she needs to go dude. if you think it's bad now, wait till you're sharing rent or a mortgage or a child. no one can steer you, but she's f'd up, not you. i just got off the phone tonight with a very close friend of mine. he apologizes for stuff he isn't to blame for....to his wife! why! so there is less fighting! what's that! stop doing this to yourself dude. you deserve better.

Fender868 · #9 01-08-2008, 07:00 AM

Hey thanks to everyone who replied. I admit it, i know she sucks. I still like her cause she sucks (in more ways than one - okay bad joke :P) , but i think the fate is innevitable. Maybe it hurt more because i actually wanted to dump her instead. I went out for a beer and some pool with the gang tonight and i instantly feel better.

To Shreddersymphony: I really agree with you on this, i spent more time with her and less with my guitar and shes known me way long enough to know that there can only be two loves in my life, and each have to share the spotlight.

Judasbane: thanks brother, we just love things that are bad for us. Booze, fast food and cigars. I think i am getting the gist of what you mean. I am not worried. Besides i am getting back into my old gig. I think i'd rather go back to having casual sex with people i will frequent or date lightly. No heartbreak - only good times.

ShredMaster: Thanks i needed to hear that. She eats up her own bull**** so much sometime that she actually believes herself. Il be the first to admit it when I **** up, but if you throw a stone at me when it's way uncalled for, il ****ing throw a boulder back. That's exactly what happens. Anyways il let her make up her mind. Right now i don't give a ****. I am looking for a new job, i have the oppurtunity to make a lot of money soon, then trade my EVH III for a new Jem (preferably a 777 DY if anyone was taking interest to what i was saying :P), party at night and meet some more girls. It was nice while it lasted, but i've put a lot of effort into listening to what she had to say and tend to her wishes. But that's reciprocal. The least she could've done is turned the page instead of boiling my blood to a piss.

Thanks to everyone who cheered me up here. I mean it bro's and or gals (if there were any). Jemsite truly has the best folk. I've enjoyed my stay and will continue to!

ScottB · #10 01-08-2008, 11:28 AM

We're here when you need us. Keep in touch.

**jaxadam** · #11 01-08-2008, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rotti

She will fall hard for some guy who treats her like crap. Thats how it works. NICE GUYS FINISH LAST.

Yup. If you want her back (or any girl for that matter) don't show her any attention, be a dick, and don't apologize for sh!t. You'll be surprised at how they will fall for that. It's all a game. Girls think they want a good looking nice guy, but when it comes down to it, all they really want is a d!ckhead with a job.

Davey · #12 01-08-2008, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rotti

She will fall hard for some guy who treats her like crap. Thats how it works. NICE GUYS FINISH LAST.

True!

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaxadam

Yup. If you want her back (or any girl for that matter) don't show her any attention, be a dick, and don't apologize for sh!t. You'll be surprised at how they will fall for that. It's all a game. Girls think they want a good looking nice guy, but when it comes down to it, all they really want is a d!ckhead with a job.

Also true!

I honestly don't think there is a single decent female left in the world that isn't taken. I don't do badly with women partially because I'm a decent guy, but I just can't find a women that I like brains-wise as well as boobs-wise

(which is strange because usually it's the other way around.)

Sorry to hear about that stuff Fender, I've had my fair share of being messed around by women. It's not even a case of being messed around, it's more that I can't find one that isn't as selfish as hell. Seriously, I'm thinking about just heading for the hottest girl I can find regardless of what her personality is like and just treating her like crap... seems like that's what they get off on. What pisses me off more than anything is the amount of nice women that are taken that tell me I'm their perfect guy... why tell me that?! you're already taken!

Being a gent counts for squat and the sooner us guys learn that the better.

andy7jem · #13 01-08-2008, 12:26 PM

Time to find a new "bag of bricks"

jemplayer55 · #14 01-08-2008, 12:33 PM

Oh boy..... another "Dear Abby" for men thread......

Fender..... just move on!

This won't be the first relationship with a woman you'll have difficulty with.

But if this turns into a pattern..... well, look at the common denominator in all of your failed relationships. That would be you!

Most guys will always blame the woman as stupid or self centered but the bottom line is you chose them!

Good luck! You'll feel better about all this with time!

jb4674 · #15 01-08-2008, 12:37 PM

I'm skeptic about all this and need more facts in order to even state an opinion. I just think that there's a lot of stuff that hasn't been mentioned and naturally Fender looks like the hero of the day.

Got a few questions....

1. How old are you and this dame of yours?
2. You said you could go on forever, please do (obviously this is bothering you enough, so rant on)
3. How many times have you guys been broken up and gotten back together, and in what span of time?

Jimmy