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My dad was told he has one year to live in which he will starve to death :-(

13K views 106 replies 80 participants last post by  Salamander In The Sun 
#1 · (Edited)
Over the past few weeks my dad was hospitalized 3 times for what was thought to be an ulcer, then stomach obstruction then benign tumor in which was to be removed earlier this week on tuesday. The surgery took the situation from "what a bummer, but it's fixable" to the unexpected worst case-scenario of "he has a year to live in which he will die of starvation and malnutrition". With this type of cancer and where it's located in the stomach there is basically no routine treatment options :-(

It's a cruel twist of fate that he should suffer like this after leading a healthy lifestyle and pretty much dedicating his life to helping and healing others... often at the expense of himself & family. I get to see somewhat regularly people whose lives he has touched and helped over the years... some before i was born. At work I will get the "say hello to your dad, how is he doing?... to which i will no doubt shed many a tear and then see pure sadness on their faces. During these heart-felt moments i can't help but to think that his youngest grandchild will probalby have no recollection of him and her older sister perhaps fleeting memories :cry:

Growing up as a kid and even as an adult, he considered any music i listened to or played to be "noise" -- how the heck can "Rain Song" be "noise" is beyond me LOL -- but visitors of this site for what is now almost a decade have felt his influence in the sense of pride and passion he took in everything he does. 10 tubes stuck everywhere in his body in the hospital and he's asking about this and that little thing which needs to get done. That has trickled down to me and hopefully the site here. It's something that even starvation can never dissipate and surely something i hope i can instill in my two little ones.

I wished not to have to post anything of this matter except for the fact it will seriously effect my time in real life and online here for a while. Aside from the personal matters and such which i prefer to remain private, we are jointly involved in two businesess... one of which he's essentially retired and hands off but the other of which is a small software company in which he basically runs the day-to-day operations and alot of phone calls and is the acting CEO. Many of those responsibilities are going to be mine to handle for the immediate future.

So if you email or PM without a reply, or with long delay please understand this is mostly why.

I would ask anyone reading would consider taking a moment to reflect upon your parents, siblings and loved ones and let them know just how important they are... glen

- - - - - - - - - - edited in update post from April 5 - - - - - - - - - -
Thanks everyone for your kind words of support, they are much appreciated.

I wanted to post an update as unfortunately the situation hastened and has taken a turn for the worse. My dad has been in and out of hospital a few times since i posted this thread, the latest being this weekend where he remains. Unfortunately CT scans have shown that his malignancy is "very aggressive" and spread into the liver in a few weeks. He's comfortable & mostly stabilized and they're hoping to release him home maybe this weekend where barring a miracle he'll have a short time remaining ...glen

- - - - - - - - - - edited in update post from April 13 - - - - - - - - - -
My father was released last friday to home Hospice care. He's in good hands and given his condition he's in a more peaceful place, getting better care than he was in the hospital just over a week ago. A family friend and priest annointed him with Last Rites (sacrament of anointing of the sick) and he is in relatively good spirits when awake. He has a living will with "do not resuscitate" so there will be no more trips to the emergency room and such. Family is with him or nearby and friends are able to stop in for a few minutes to sit with him and share some time that remains... glen

- - - - - - - - - - edited in update post from April 15 - - - - - - - - - -
bummer to have to update this thread so soon and for one last time...

early this Sunday morning my dad passed away... no doubt to a better place.

god bless my mom & prayers for her continued health and good spirits... she was there for his last breath and to comfort him and reassure him that all is well here and that it's OK to let his body go as.

may my loving father rest in peace ...glen
 
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#2 ·
Glen im sorry to hear this, and I can only offer you my sincere sympathy.

If you need anything during this even if its to vent on someone you dont know, which is always the easiest I am readily available per phone or whatever.

I lost my father overnight a few years back and this story just reminded me of him, he was the same way with my music. We ate dinner the night before the next morning he Passed away.

Again I am here for you if you need someone to talk to.

My prayers are with you.
 
#3 ·
Glen,

I am sorry to hear about your father =( News like this is never easy to cope with.

If there is anything I can do for you or your family, please let me know. I know I live far away but I will do what I can to help.

Like ibanezcollector said above, if you need someone to talk to feel free to drop me a PM or call sometime.

You and your family will be in my our prayers

<J>
 
#4 ·
Glen,

I am very saddened to hear about your father. News like this is always difficult. I believe the best thing you can do is support him and those around you. Spend as much time with him as you can. Life is short. I sincerely appreciate the comment you made about recognizing the importance of ones relationship with family members. This is all too often overlooked.


We haven't pm'd each other in some time. I too would be more than happy to talk if you ever need to.

Stay strong, and remember you have friends here.
 
#5 ·
Dear Glen,
I am very sorry to hear this news. My most sincere sympathy to you and yours.
Some 18 months ago, my father passed away from something that I would describe as similar to what your father is suffering from.
Though my father and I were not as close as most other families (due to parents divorce), we were still flesh and blood, and his passing affected me greatly.
As you already said, you have to let your loved ones know how important they are. So make the most of the remaining time with your dear father.
I'm sure everyone on jemsite will feel your sorrow, and will surely understand and allow you your time and space.
Take care Glen and our thoughts are with you.
 
#9 ·
I had noticed you haven't been around and was wondering why? I wish it could have been for something other than this. Through this site you are a big part of all our lives and have created something meaningful and helpful in this world. Yet one more reason your dad can be proud of you and through the way he has helped you become the person you are then i guess we all owe him great thanks. My sympathies and best wishes to you, your dad and your whole family. Stay strong and make the most of the time you have left together.
Andy.
 
#18 ·
Glen, I'm so sorry to hear:( I was hoping the initial prognosis would hold true. Your father sounds like a wonderful person and someone who has made a difference. It obviously reflects in his son;)

Spend as much time as you can with him and I have no doubt I'm speaking for the other Mods as well in saying we WILL hold down the fort for you!!

I would also like to ~echo~ the following comment:

I would ask anyone reading would consider taking a moment to reflect upon your parents, siblings and loved ones and let them know just how important they are... glen
 
#22 ·
Glen,

Sorry this has come to you, your father, and whole family. Please take good care of yourselves.
I just returned from going out to dinner with my dad. I realized it's been very long since I've gone out with him alone. From this sad news of your father and from being with my dad today, I am reminded we never know how much time is left to be with any family or anyone. Thanks for the advice man.
My prayers are with you and your family.

Paul
 
#23 ·
Glen,
Sorry to hear this news. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I haven't been back home in about 7 years to visit my family. I had made plans each summer for the past three years to get back up and see everyone, but something always seemed to come up, that I could'nt make it. This year I had told my mom that I am going to try to make it up for our Family reunion in June.
Reading your words has given me a new resolve to follow through with those plans, so in some small way your father is continuing to help others.
Thank You,
Tim
 
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