Anyone have any good music/musician jokes? - Jemsite
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post #1 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-15-2014, 04:13 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Dublin
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Anyone have any good music/musician jokes?

As the title suggests, has anyone heard any good ones?

I know only one, but it's way too crude to type in a public domain (and the mods would ban me), if however you want to read it send me a pm and I will reply, but some may take offense, so please consider carefully.

Anyway, I want to hear yours.
Laobi is offline  
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post #2 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-15-2014, 04:18 PM
 
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Re: Anyone have any good music/musician jokes?

What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?

......
......
......

A Drummer....
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post #3 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-15-2014, 04:40 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: Anyone have any good music/musician jokes?

Lol, reminds me of 2 80s ones...

What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?..............
........
You only have to punch the rythm into the drum machine once.

A drummer, a singer and a bass player fall off a cliff, who hits the ground last?......
....
....
......
A: Who cares?
B: The drummer, he has to ask directions on the way down


crap, but drummers are always popular.
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post #4 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-19-2014, 09:45 PM
 
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Re: Anyone have any good music/musician jokes?

What's the perfect pitch for a violin?

Straight into the trashcan without touching the sides.
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post #5 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-19-2014, 10:07 PM
 
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Re: Anyone have any good music/musician jokes?

Justin Bieber.
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post #6 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-19-2014, 10:18 PM
 
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Re: Anyone have any good music/musician jokes?

This is the most overused joke ever...i love it
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post #7 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-19-2014, 11:55 PM
 
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Re: Anyone have any good music/musician jokes?

Not really a joke but I'm sure everyone has seen the bumper sticker that says, "Drummers do it with rhythm."
I'd like to put one on my fiancee's car that says, "Guitarists do it with hot licks."
Okay, TMI.
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post #8 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-20-2014, 12:21 AM
 
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Re: Anyone have any good music/musician jokes?

I once saw someone put this picture on facebook :
Vocalist, gets 3 gals
Guitarist, gets 2 gals
Bassist, gets 1 gals
Drummer, gets nothing
Keyboardist, gets.... a guy.
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post #9 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-20-2014, 01:33 AM
 
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Re: Anyone have any good music/musician jokes?

How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb? One - all he has to do is hold the light bulb and the whole world revolves around him…

How many guitarists does it take to change light bulb? 12…well, actually only one to change the bulb and the 11 other guitarists just stand there saying "I could do that"...
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post #10 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-20-2014, 08:07 AM
 
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Re: Anyone have any good music/musician jokes?

How do you know if a guitar player has been to your house?..

..

..

He's still there
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post #11 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-20-2014, 09:14 AM
 
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Re: Anyone have any good music/musician jokes?

What do you say to the guitar player that just knocked on your door?

.........

.........

How much do I owe you for the pizza?
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post #12 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-20-2014, 01:36 PM
 
Join Date: May 2014
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Re: Anyone have any good music/musician jokes?

Did you guys hear about the drummer who accidentally left his keys on the roof of his car and locked himself in his car?
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post #13 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-20-2014, 02:57 PM
 
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Re: Anyone have any good music/musician jokes?

The guitar player says to the drummer, "What would you do if we heard the earth would be destroyed by an asteroid in 15 minutes?"

The drummer says, "That's easy! I'd screw the first thing that moved!! What would you do?"

The guitar player says, "I'd hold perfectly still..."
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post #14 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-27-2014, 12:00 AM
 
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Re: Anyone have any good music/musician jokes?

Quote:
Originally Posted by psychoshredder View Post
I once saw someone put this picture on facebook :
Vocalist, gets 3 gals
Guitarist, gets 2 gals
Bassist, gets 1 gals
Drummer, gets nothing
Keyboardist, gets.... a guy.

I seen that too made me laugh especially the keyboard player

How do you know when a drummer is at your door ?

- He speeds up when he's knocking.


How can you tell when a singer is at your door?

- They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.

This is an 80's one,

What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend?

- Homeless.

They are not that great but the only ones I have heard or know that aren't way lame
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post #15 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-21-2014, 03:49 PM
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
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Re: Anyone have any good music/musician jokes?

whats the difference between a working musician and a pizza?
a pizza can feed a family of 4.

how many ska kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
two. one to screw it in and one to say "pick itup"
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