Bigfeets - Jemsite
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-17-2008, 11:44 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 3,153
Bigfeets

All this hoo-ha about this supposed bigfoot body has got me thinkin' about one of my favourite Futurama moments:

Ranger Park: Now since this area's a national Bigfoot preserve, we'll start with a short film about Bigfoot while I make a few phone calls.

[He dims the lights and turns on the projector. "Bigfoot" appears on the screen.]

Narrator: [voice-over; in movie] Bigfoot ... [A hand stamps some words over the caption.] ... Endangered Mystery! [The movie shows a map of North America.] In the dense forests of the Pacific Northwest ... [The scene changes to the Patterson-Gimlin film.] ... dwells the strange and beautiful creature known as Bigfoot, perhaps.

Fry: That proves it!

[In the movie the Clearcutter cuts down some trees.]

Narrator: [voice-over; in movie] Sadly, logging and human settlement today threaten what might possibly be his habitat. Although if it's not, they don't. Bigfoot populations require vast amounts of land to remain elusive in. [The scene changes to some rocks.] They typically dwell just behind rocks but are also sometimes playful, bounding into thick fogs and out-of-focus areas.

[The scene changes to a foggy forest. Park talks on the phone at the back of the room.]

Ranger Park: It should say "Top Quality Exercycle For Sale" and could you put "top quality" in bold? You can't? OK, whatever.

[In the movie someone photographs the woods.]

Narrator: [voice-over; in movie] Remember, it's up to us. Bigfoot is a crucial part of the ecosystem, if he exists. So let's all help keep Bigfoot possibly alive for future generations to enjoy unless he doesn't exist. The end.

[The movie ends with "The End" and "MMCMLXII - Most Rights Reserved".]

Ranger Park: I-I gotta call you back. [He hangs up.] Alright, questions?

Sal: Yeah. Have yous ever seens Bigfeet?

Ranger Park: Technically, no. But I do see him each night in my dreams and each day in the silent faces of hairy children.

[Farnsworth stands up and shakes his fist.]

Farnsworth: (shouting) Bunk! Bunk I say! Bring me a bag full of Bigfoot's droppings or shut up!

Ranger Park: [holding up a bag] I have the droppings of someone who saw Bigfoot.

Farnsworth: Shut up!

[Bender stands up and points out the window.]

Bender: Oh, my God! Look! It's Bigfoot!

[Park holds up a camera and autograph book and runs to the window.]

Ranger Park: Where?

Bender: Eh, he's gone. He said you should keep wasting your life though.

Petunia: Oh! I saw Bigfoot crushing cars at the county fair.

Ranger Park: What you saw was Bigfoot the monster truck. But thanks for a great question.

[She groans and walks out muttering. Fry raises his hand.]

Fry: Sir, if I may, why don't you just set up like a billion video cameras in the woods and see if he walks by one?

Ranger Park: Ah, that would be very expensive, and most people who believe in Bigfoot are broke.

Bender: Hey, look! Bigfoot! He's back!

Ranger Park: Where?

Bender: Up your face! [He laughs.] Everybody do the Bender!
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-17-2008, 11:45 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 3,153
Re: Bigfeets

Then there's:

Bender: Fry! Fry wake up! It's me, Bigface!

[Cut to: Fry's Tent. Fry wakes up.]

Bender: (from outside) Come out and groom my mangy fur!

Fry: [turning on his lamp] Huh? Bigfoot? You taught yourself English? Bigfoot? Is that you? I'm not like the others, Bigfoot; I see through your monster coatings to the gentle loner inside. I bet you have a wounded racoon friend that you tenderly nurse back to health while you go... [He "coos".] But in the end they shoot you. But you teach us about things.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-18-2008, 12:03 AM
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 4,108
Re: Bigfeets

Bender- CHEESE IT!
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-18-2008, 01:07 AM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 3,153
Re: Bigfeets

Calling bigfoot 'bigface' is like Pringles... once you do it once, you can't stop.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-18-2008, 12:59 PM
HDS
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 1,247
Re: Bigfeets

His drumming is kick ass though.
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