Lmao, I know the feeling. I hate clubs, always the same, desperate drunk antisocial muscle bound arseholes (usually jock types who are going to be in the closet until they have ruined the life of at least one woman) looking for either a **** or a fight and usually not too fussy if they get both from the same person. I could never dance (unless there was someone to dance on) so the only place I suffer boredom is clubs (no access to information to distract me and none of my stuff nearby).
The guys grabbing arses thing really makes me think it should be perfectly legal to have a moron hunting season, I don't believe in everyone having access to firearms or shooting wildlife for that matter, but I'd make an exception for the benifit of the gene pool and be first on the queue for that particular licence. I use a look I patented in my first profession which apparently says "I want to kill someone today, just about anyone will do" it generally keeps the genetic waste at bay. However I'm sure you didn't ask for a rant, so lets strategise:
When your friend next takes a bathroom break, don't make the mistake of joining the piss possy and going with her, instead sidle over to that charming articulate specimen of manhood that your friend is dry humping and say either of the following:
"Hey, let me get you a drink, I really appreciate what you're doing for Melanie!! Since the chlamydia infection she hasn't been going out, but you've really helped her get some confidence back, oh don't mention I said anything to her, she's still waiting on the HIV test results"
"Wow, you're so open minded, not like the other guys in this dive." which triggers the "oh how so?" response which should be followed by:
"Well, Melvin, ahem Melanie is still in transition, some of the other guys were really cruel to him...her, but don't her new breasts look great? And next month he's having the downstairs part fixed.. It's great that things like that don't bother you, you're such a great guy"
He'll disappear faster than a cake from a bulimic and you get to go home....
Wow, that's um......
Naa, I just called Jeff and while I waited for him, danced with her and her 'ape-man' and told her I was tired and going home.
I didn't want to sabotage her night, but I felt bad leaving her there. She seemed content in what she was doing, so.....I'll get a call later and she'll want to go into all the details about the rest of her night, I'm sure.
don't need to hear it, but hey, what are friends for?
If there's ever a girl, or girls that go out with us that I don't particularly like, I'll have to remember those....in fact: I know just the girl I would not feel guilty doing that to. LOL
As far as the 'grab-asses', I usually don't run into that. It just seemed there were a particularly large number of 'douches' there last night for whatever reason.
Usually we get treated with respect. Around here the bouncers don't just throw you out for something like that, they make sure you know exactly why
you're getting thrown out, and send you home with a sore ass so you remember later.
I'm just glad I didn't drink, I think I might have punched him if I had been and we'd have both been thrown out and I'd have found myself in the parking lot along with the d**k head. I'm good at controlling my Italian temper, but when I've been drinking....noPe.
Thanks for the 'rant', it was entertaining this Sunday morning. I have to get dressed for Church.