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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-18-2005, 08:38 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: London, Ontario, Canada
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Clarity

I'd like to make a few points clear since the other thread got closed.

I do not abuse my girlfriend in any way, I never have, and I never will.

Posting the link wasn't to "make me feel better". It was to educate people (I hoped) about a very real problem. There is a disturbing amount of young people who have very negative views of certain issues, and this is one of the most important ones. Abuse, whether it's physical, verbal, psychological, sexual, or any other form, is a serious problem right now. I see it every day at school (college), including in my own classmates. I saw it in high school, and I see it in high school students right now (in fact, worse than when I was in high school).

The following are things I've overheard, somewhat graphic, if this thread gets censored/closed, I understand, but I feel my point needs to be made. I don't care if these comments were meant in humour or not, it's still wrong. (any starred out words is done by me, not by the swear filter)

I heard a guy in my class (my age, 20 yrs old) talking about another girl in my class, saying she's "totally rape-able" and that you could rape her and she'd be like "whatever" (his words).

I overheard a bunch of high school guys at a concert (probably 15 or 16 years old) talking about their sexual experience, and (I'm not making this up) "spitting on her ass so she thinks your done, then when she turns around, shooting it on her face."


I realize that people thought I was blaming the media entirely, which I wasn't, and neither was the article. However, in a world (and countries) where this is already a serious problem, the media does nothing to help, except tell these abusive people that they're alright and to keep doing what they're doing.

This is not trying to blame others for problems, this is about facing the problems with society itself, as well as individuals.

I'm sure the people who made negative posts on the other thread probably enjoy the sorts of shows that are similar (though I'm sure milder) than the one described in the article, and I'm sure they aren't abusive to women. But how anyone can ignore the serious problems with that kind of "humour" is beyond me.


I've said all I need to say. I apologize to the Moderators if this breaks any rules, and will accept any actions on their part that results from it. I felt I needed to get this message out, and I hope that some people stopped and read it and took it seriously. It's not a joke, it's not funny, it's a sign of insecurity to demean others, and anyone who says otherwise is refusing to admit something about themselves and their society.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-18-2005, 09:17 PM
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Re: Clarity

Quote:
Originally Posted by Two hands31
I heard a guy in my class (my age, 20 yrs old) talking about another girl in my class, saying she's "totally rape-able" and that you could rape her and she'd be like "whatever" (his words).
I didn't read the other thread in it's entirety, but some people are just insensitive/ignorant and no amount of education or PSAs wil change that. It's also possible that people use words inappropriately without giving thought to what they say. Not uncommon at that age in particular where you are a 'tweener (not a real adult and no longer a kid).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Two hands31
I overheard a bunch of high school guys at a concert (probably 15 or 16 years old) talking about their sexual experience, and (I'm not making this up) "spitting on her ass so she thinks your done, then when she turns around, shooting it on her face."
Sounds like guy talk from a "minute man" Also, these girls will need to learn to put themselves in better situations, nevermind with the right people. Some will have to live & learn... but some never do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Two hands31
I realize that people thought I was blaming the media entirely, which I wasn't, and neither was the article. However, in a world (and countries) where this is already a serious problem, the media does nothing to help, except tell these abusive people that they're alright and to keep doing what they're doing.
The media doesn't "help" much of anything... glen
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-18-2005, 09:30 PM
 
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Re: Clarity

Society can put restrictions blah blah blah on abusive behavior, that still wont render abusive behavior.And yes, i do see high school teenagers acting worse than what they have ,as for your "face spitting" concept ; i recall hearing that before , coming from a 13-17 yr old mouth is degrading yes , but from the instances i've heard it is nothing more than "show off"/"raging hormone idiotic funny humor" (if that makes sense to you).I do find myself fed up with these jokes , but it will be said one way or another or thought about b/c people have/born with , if you choose to say, an abusive behavor imo and only they can tame their "instinct".It's feeling of superiority that has been going on for centuries , starting with slaves, executing through women, to modern day antics.Even being brought up "christian" your friends imo have more impact than your family values.If i had a kid saying these things i would take heavy action.But most teenagers are immature and have no respect.It's a part of growing up you could say and if they choose to remain the same they will be in jail,killed whatever.Their punishment will come sooner or later.Adult videos , blah blah blah say whatever needs to be said but some people open up a file/video with whatever sexual context and enjoy it for their own reasons.Be it their fancy,lifestyles,fantasies whatever.Things happen for a reason be it a bad day at work , not getting what you want...basically another issue of superiority.OFF TOPIC: you can make a ticketing law of no crosswalking , no underage smoking, no DWI , no drug smuggling ,anything illegal or harmfull and that wont stop people from executing these things.Even if it harms themselves or puts others in danger.There are soo many problems either you cope with them , act on justice , take matters into your own hands.There's so much to do and so little time , you grow wiser as your days grow shorter.There's so much to consume all around, just some people dont , act in violence in result,or just dont realize the beauty of life.I'm going to stop running on and on , but you cant help everyone so if these things really push your buttons ; even if its people you dont know that are hurt.Do something about it.Make a stand if you wish,do a band dedicated to your feelings on this, write a book, be an offical of the law.But have in mind you will never make everyone choose to think your way and by wanting only "non-humor" replies from your heartfelt desires from message boards is rediculous.Because people will just aggitate the matter more if they care to ignore it or have heard it beyond reconciliation.You start off small and big things can persist ...look woman have been given the right to vote as an example.Maybe you can stop the violence if you dedicate yourself and care to make a stand , just don't expect to have everyone follow you , they wont and will put you down for it being "insane or impossible" to do.Like i said if its an issue you feel strongly about then make it known, just dont expect alot of people to give you answers you feel you need to hear. Good luck
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-19-2005, 03:16 AM
 
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Re: Clarity

Todd, Props for posting this, Those that know me and remember what happened to my wife not that long ago will know my stance, I'd personally kick any wife beater/abuser/tormentor from here to kingdom come. and then a fair bit further.

Todd bro, very few care or will admit it, until something happens to one close to them, Ignore the pedantic rantings of small minded bigots, you know you did the right thing, or you would'nt have posted.

Take care.

Rob
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-19-2005, 06:00 AM
dex
 
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Re: Clarity

I didn't post my sarky response in the other thread because I'm pro violence.
Not in the slightest.

It's an unfortunate fact of life that we live at a time and place where TV programs like the one described in the article, Jackass, Dirty Sanchez, Tom Green's show, Punke'd and other brainless things are as big as they are.
Youth culture (and I personaly blame the black youth "culture" for kickstarting it) is responcible for glorifying violence and making it acceptable and if you think you have a problem try and read up on the realities of growing up in places like Compton or Brixton..........as a girl.

You can't really blame TV though - it's a culture (or rather a lack of) thing and the only way to change it is education.
As long as kids have Dr Dre/Snoop Dog/50Cent as role models instead of doctors/teachers/lawyers they are going to be lost.

My personal theory is that from the outside being 50Cent implies being extremely successfull without putting the time and effort in and young impressionable fans think that being 50Cent is way more achievable than being a doctor.
It's the "Instant gratification" thing we have going on these days - "Why study for 8 years and end up $150,000 in debt when I can be making millions in 2 years?" - what kids don't get is that to become 50Cent, Justin Timberlake or Mrs Spears you'll need more than 8 years of absolute dedication and good luck and I bet you there are more lawyers who make a better living then musicians.

In conclusion I think The Beatles were wrong as all you need is education and if you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
Unfortunately we've been trying it for a long time.

ilia

Last edited by dex; 04-19-2005 at 07:35 AM.
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