Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: The FTL, Florida
Re: Controlling Bandmate
The human ego! A powerful force indeed! This same force has killed many a professional band; including The Beatles!
The thing you must understand is that everyone comes into a band with a preconcieved idea of what that band's going to be, what it's goung to sound like, and where it's going. The problem is not everyone's visions mesh. Tell this dude, straight up, what you want out of the band and how it should be a partnership. If he's the mature sort he'll understand. I had a good relationship with my long-time singer. It helped that he was my best friend. He kept me level-headed and reigned in some of the out-there ideas while I pushed for that something different. A lot of times, there were arguments, but that's par for the course. My point is we both recognised that we BOTH needed to give and take for it to work.
If this guy is still a d#$k after you hash things out you may need to walk. If you think it's worth it to stick around for the record deal, then stay and deal with the job of being a rhythm guitar player; at least until you can jump on to something else. All the same, walking may need to be an option.
I eventually walked. I miss the old days sometimes but I make music my own way now and have never been happier. I'll play in other bands in a more restrained capacity, even as the bass player, but do my own thing to have it my own way. It can be a lot of work but it's the best of both worlds.
Ultimately, I think you have to be HAPPY in playing music, but that's just my opinion...