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post #1 of 27 (permalink) Old 05-16-2010, 09:55 PM Thread Starter
 
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Controlling Bandmate

So I am in this band and I feel we have a good thing going. me and the other guitarist would switch off playing rhythm and lead; lately ive just been playing rhythm. Thing is I'm better then him. Also lately he has been writing my stuff. Its just me and him so its not like a whole group told him to do this. I need him because I think me and him click on music and he is a good singer, but I dont think I can put up with this **** for long. Any advice/ similar situations.

Cheers

p.s. I have told him that I dont want to just play rhythm
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post #2 of 27 (permalink) Old 05-16-2010, 10:06 PM
 
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Re: Controlling Bandmate

Try being honest with him here and discuss the points you raised here.If he is gonna flip out and leave from that, you were never gonna stay together anyway so you didnt lose anything anyway.
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post #3 of 27 (permalink) Old 05-16-2010, 10:33 PM
 
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Re: Controlling Bandmate

Yeah I find if you need to get what you want out of a band, you need to be honest and polite at the same time...
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post #4 of 27 (permalink) Old 05-16-2010, 11:03 PM
 
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Re: Controlling Bandmate

put your foot down and play what you want to play...if he can't share creativity, screw it and move on...and by the way, you can't make it on your own if you "need" others to jam with...just sayin, don't be controlled or forced to be a pawn...
rock on...Mike
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post #5 of 27 (permalink) Old 05-17-2010, 12:06 AM Thread Starter
 
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Re: Controlling Bandmate

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Originally Posted by mtldad View Post
put your foot down and play what you want to play...if he can't share creativity, screw it and move on...and by the way, you can't make it on your own if you "need" others to jam with...just sayin, don't be controlled or forced to be a pawn...
rock on...Mike
Mike
I am thinking about trying that but when me and the dude play together theres a lot of missing stuff to my songs that he adds. I 100% agree with you and might spin your argument by saying, "hey dude you know you might be able to make it on your own and thats kinda the way its looking for me so I might just leave." a little bit of a bluff a little truth.
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post #6 of 27 (permalink) Old 05-17-2010, 12:14 AM
 
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Re: Controlling Bandmate

Talk with him and tell him how you feel about this situation, and be as honest as possible. If you guys can't reach an agreement, one of you guys has to leave the band. Believe me, I've been in your situation dozens of times. You'll find someone like him or even better later, you just have to look for him.
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post #7 of 27 (permalink) Old 05-17-2010, 12:18 AM
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Re: Controlling Bandmate

I agree with everyone else on this! Be firm and sincere without backing down. If all else fails, kick him in the ding ding--yeah, just kiding. Sometimes people just get carried away with the music and forget the aspirations of others. It will work out...



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post #8 of 27 (permalink) Old 05-17-2010, 12:24 AM Thread Starter
 
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Re: Controlling Bandmate

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Originally Posted by AlaskaBat View Post
I agree with everyone else on this! Be firm and sincere without backing down. If all else fails, kick him in the ding ding--yeah, just kiding. Sometimes people just get carried away with the music and forget the aspirations of others. It will work out...
Hey I hope!
We might get a record deal so I am really hoping this doesn't turn for the worst.
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post #9 of 27 (permalink) Old 05-17-2010, 01:36 AM
 
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Re: Controlling Bandmate

no no no, your amp has a volume knob for a reason.
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post #10 of 27 (permalink) Old 05-17-2010, 04:39 AM
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Re: Controlling Bandmate

LSD lead singer disease lol.this is why i gave up playing in bands.you can bet your life on there being at least 1 xxxhole.i wanted to be in a band for good laughs n a bit carry on,but some people take it to serious ie want to be rockstars.the last band i was in the other guitarist was obsessed about his amp being louder than mine also he was dirt jelous of my gear.not interested now, more interested in teaching my son guitar.good luck to you anyways hope it works out for ya.rob
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post #11 of 27 (permalink) Old 05-17-2010, 11:19 AM
 
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Re: Controlling Bandmate

Common problem. I suggest pumping him with LSD, handcuffing to basement stairs and then break down the news...

But if seriously... more talent means bigger *******.
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post #12 of 27 (permalink) Old 05-17-2010, 11:41 AM Thread Starter
 
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Re: Controlling Bandmate

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Originally Posted by rob777vdy View Post
LSD lead singer disease lol.this is why i gave up playing in bands.you can bet your life on there being at least 1 xxxhole.i wanted to be in a band for good laughs n a bit carry on,but some people take it to serious ie want to be rockstars.the last band i was in the other guitarist was obsessed about his amp being louder than mine also he was dirt jelous of my gear.not interested now, more interested in teaching my son guitar.good luck to you anyways hope it works out for ya.rob
Same problem with the last serious band I was in. This was 6th-7th grade of course but I couldnt hear my little fender amp while this dude had a huge marshall that he would crank to about 10. The kicker is if I was past like 3 he would turn mine down a bit
I'd also like to add that I am seriously a good guitarist. I was playing with high schoolers in 6th grade so i dont see why he was being such a douche but its what ever now
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post #13 of 27 (permalink) Old 05-17-2010, 01:02 PM
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Re: Controlling Bandmate

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Originally Posted by metalguitarist7778 View Post
Same problem with the last serious band I was in. This was 6th-7th grade of course but I couldnt hear my little fender amp while this dude had a huge marshall that he would crank to about 10. The kicker is if I was past like 3 he would turn mine down a bit
I'd also like to add that I am seriously a good guitarist. I was playing with high schoolers in 6th grade so i dont see why he was being such a douche but its what ever now
some people are just cant help being a jackass,a few of the bands i was in some were better players than me,didnt bother me i just did my job simple as.if theres 1 thing i hate about other guitarists is that they treat guitar playing like a competition.IM THE BEST so you can chugg away on a a chord while i play all the flashy solo's.not everyones like that just a case of finding a bunch of guys who dont take it to seriously and just like a laugh n banter.
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post #14 of 27 (permalink) Old 05-17-2010, 02:42 PM
 
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Re: Controlling Bandmate

The human ego! A powerful force indeed! This same force has killed many a professional band; including The Beatles!
The thing you must understand is that everyone comes into a band with a preconcieved idea of what that band's going to be, what it's goung to sound like, and where it's going. The problem is not everyone's visions mesh. Tell this dude, straight up, what you want out of the band and how it should be a partnership. If he's the mature sort he'll understand. I had a good relationship with my long-time singer. It helped that he was my best friend. He kept me level-headed and reigned in some of the out-there ideas while I pushed for that something different. A lot of times, there were arguments, but that's par for the course. My point is we both recognised that we BOTH needed to give and take for it to work.
If this guy is still a d#$k after you hash things out you may need to walk. If you think it's worth it to stick around for the record deal, then stay and deal with the job of being a rhythm guitar player; at least until you can jump on to something else. All the same, walking may need to be an option.
I eventually walked. I miss the old days sometimes but I make music my own way now and have never been happier. I'll play in other bands in a more restrained capacity, even as the bass player, but do my own thing to have it my own way. It can be a lot of work but it's the best of both worlds.
Ultimately, I think you have to be HAPPY in playing music, but that's just my opinion...
Good luck!
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post #15 of 27 (permalink) Old 05-17-2010, 03:33 PM
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Re: Controlling Bandmate

Quote:
Originally Posted by metalguitarist7778 View Post
Same problem with the last serious band I was in. This was 6th-7th grade of course but I couldnt hear my little fender amp while this dude had a huge marshall that he would crank to about 10. The kicker is if I was past like 3 he would turn mine down a bit
I'd also like to add that I am seriously a good guitarist. I was playing with high schoolers in 6th grade so i dont see why he was being such a douche but its what ever now
I think it sounds a lot like you're the second fiddle in this band.

You admit you need him... You admit he's writing your parts...

it doesn't sound like an "equal arrangement" within the band and so it might be time to look at your own role in the group. If you're a "seriously good guitarist", that's fine but in this band, it looks a lot like you're just there to make the singer look good. Talk to the other band members and see what they think. Maybe the bassist and drummer are sick of him too, maybe they all assumed you knew you were "just the rhythm player"

Remember though it's a lot of fun to be the rhythm guitarist and if the singer can take you to a record deal then all the better. Just ask if you can maybe have a solo on one song, or maybe play lead in an instrumental to give his voice a rest. If he says "no" then you either need to deal with it, or move on.
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