Cybersex - Jemsite
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-25-2007, 08:06 AM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Trondheim, Norway
Posts: 3,614
Cybersex

Some may have read this before. But a revisit is due...

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3' and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK.

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Can I help?

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately - our naked bodies pressing each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?

Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray,picture frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

Sweetheart: { [logged off]
The Euphor is offline  
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-25-2007, 08:11 AM
 
AirGuitar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 834
Re: Cybersex

That one is a classic

Its been a long time since ive read it!
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-25-2007, 08:38 AM
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,366
Re: Cybersex

ROFLMAO!!! That was too friggin funny!! That guy had to be married! There's no way a slob with barbecue sauce on his shirt would be trained enough to wash and dry a cup and put it back in the cupboard otherwise!
FloridaNative is offline  
post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-25-2007, 10:02 AM
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,140
Re: Cybersex


That was too good!
southpaw_lefty is offline  
post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-25-2007, 10:22 AM
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: london,uk
Posts: 6,512
Re: Cybersex

Awesome
andy7jem is offline  
post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-25-2007, 10:28 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Jacksonville, NC
Posts: 4,107
Re: Cybersex

Good one Euphor, I hadn't seen that one before
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-25-2007, 11:01 AM
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: NB Canada
Posts: 3,467
Re: Cybersex

That was great. There are a bunch more that go with this one. Post them if you have them.
Rotti is offline  
post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-25-2007, 05:20 PM
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 2,674
Re: Cybersex

Excellent, it was good to see that one again.
pawel is offline  
post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-26-2007, 02:37 AM
 
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Penang, Malaysia
Posts: 7,559
Re: Cybersex

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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-26-2007, 03:15 AM
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Singapore
Posts: 1,731
Re: Cybersex

TongueShredder is offline  
post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-26-2007, 03:36 AM
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: sydney Australia
Posts: 765
Re: Cybersex

being lazy like i am, i wasn't gonna read it...

but i'm glad i did that was damn funny.
ibanezdiehard is offline  
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