Does Santa Exist - Jemsite
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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-24-2005, 12:08 PM Thread Starter
 
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Does Santa Exist

Just found this on the interweb... Very interesting!

Is There a Santa Clause?

1. No known species of reindeer that can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer (which only Santa has ever seen.)

2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18 ) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total-378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept),we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second-a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload-not even counting the weight of the sleigh-to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison-this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance-this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

Last edited by Al M; 12-24-2005 at 12:20 PM.
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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-24-2005, 12:18 PM
 
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Re: Does Santa Exist

Old fat man + overworked = dead fat man

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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-24-2005, 12:19 PM
 
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Re: Does Santa Exist

? he's NOT real? aw man, this is the worst christmas ever..............
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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-24-2005, 12:28 PM
 
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Re: Does Santa Exist

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kamikaze_1
Old fat man + overworked = dead fat man

yeah ha!!
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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-24-2005, 12:37 PM
 
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Re: Does Santa Exist

Don't you guys watch TV?????

1. Santa has a magic clock that stops time, that is how he delivers all the presents in one night seemingly.

2. He has a shrinking potion which shrinks ALL the presents so they all fit in his gift bag.

3. He only has to clap his hands (some sources say touch the side of his nose) in order to go down the chimney's.

So you see, all the math and logic in the world does not come into play because santa clause is magical.
At least that's the way it always should be, the magic of christmas in the eyes of children and that's all that matters
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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-24-2005, 12:46 PM
 
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Re: Does Santa Exist

Quote:
Originally Posted by littlegreenman
Don't you guys watch TV?????

1. Santa has a magic clock that stops time, that is how he delivers all the presents in one night seemingly.

2. He has a shrinking potion which shrinks ALL the presents so they all fit in his gift bag.

3. He only has to clap his hands (some sources say touch the side of his nose) in order to go down the chimney's.

So you see, all the math and logic in the world does not come into play because santa clause is magical.
At least that's the way it always should be, the magic of christmas in the eyes of children and that's all that matters
It's like something out of a Harry Potter book, to be honest.
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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-24-2005, 12:57 PM
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Re: Does Santa Exist

Of course Santa does exist, the US Air Force tracks him annually! Aparently Rudolf's Red Nose has an IR heat bloom similiar to an ICBM launch which makes him very easy to spot and he's been clocked at speeds approximately 100 times as fast as a bullet train in Japan!!!

Proof here.
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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-24-2005, 01:00 PM
 
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Re: Does Santa Exist

Quote:
Originally Posted by jono
Of course Santa does exist, the US Air Force tracks him annually! Aparently Rudolf's Red Nose has an IR heat bloom similiar to an ICBM launch which makes him very easy to spot and he's been clocked at speeds approximately 100 times as fast as a bullet train in Japan!!!

Proof here.
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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-24-2005, 01:50 PM
 
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Re: Does Santa Exist

Quote:
Originally Posted by jono
Of course Santa does exist, the US Air Force tracks him annually! Aparently Rudolf's Red Nose has an IR heat bloom similiar to an ICBM launch which makes him very easy to spot and he's been clocked at speeds approximately 100 times as fast as a bullet train in Japan!!!

Proof here.
Exactly why my chimney is booby-traped

How do you think I got all my Jems
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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-24-2005, 02:04 PM
 
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Re: Does Santa Exist

HE does exeist, i mean who else can bring me presents? My parents? Yeah right...
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post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-24-2005, 02:15 PM
 
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Re: Does Santa Exist

Regarding the Santa issue. I live here in Lake Placid NY. I am 10.2 miles from an actual place called the North Pole. It has its own Post Office and Zip Code. The place is actually a run down Christmas theme park. While out shopping a few hours ago here in Placid. There are alot of old fat dudes with white beards walking around town as I write this. Altough AL M impressed me with his research. My theory is Santa has been genetically cloned and is run by some secret government agency. When driving threw the place called the North Pole at night sometimes there are 30 or so reindeer running next to my car. Kinda freaks you out if your not use to it. Happy Holidays Jemsiters
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post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-24-2005, 05:06 PM
 
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Re: Does Santa Exist

LOL absolutely brilliant. i wonder how much time that person had to take out of his day to do those calculations (and where he/she got his P.H.d in physics )
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post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-24-2005, 08:23 PM
 
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Re: Does Santa Exist

Quote:
Originally Posted by littlegreenman
Don't you guys watch TV?????

1. Santa has a magic clock that stops time, that is how he delivers all the presents in one night seemingly.

2. He has a shrinking potion which shrinks ALL the presents so they all fit in his gift bag.

3. He only has to clap his hands (some sources say touch the side of his nose) in order to go down the chimney's.

So you see, all the math and logic in the world does not come into play because santa clause is magical.
At least that's the way it always should be, the magic of christmas in the eyes of children and that's all that matters
That's what the government wants us to think. I've researched this
and the truth is that Santas magic clock is actually recovered alien
technology given to Santa by covert agencies within the US. The same
holds true of the 'shrinking potion': more alien technology. Santas ability to
fit down chimnneys a quarter his girth?: again, more alein technology that
warps space & time creating mini wormholes and Santas percieved ability to
do his thing in one night, activated by implants in Santas hands
and nose. You're probably asking yourselves why would the government
give Santa this technology?
And the answer is: Santa's given these tools
to make his job of delivering presents easier in exchange for him also installing
intelligence gathering devices in the homes of those who celebrate Christmas
around the world. But to answer the original question: yes, Santa is real.
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post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-28-2005, 10:53 AM
 
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Re: Does Santa Exist

Man get real guys . Of course Santa is real the man has an official address in Greenland.

Regards

André



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post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-28-2005, 01:03 PM
 
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Re: Does Santa Exist

"is it any wonder i've got.. too much time on my hands?"
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