Getting married next week
So yeah... I met this girl on the 28th of January... and we haven't been apart for a day since. A lot of people keep telling me I'm moving too fast, but I have to say something about that... Love does not equal Time.
I was married once before, and I glance occasionally over my shoulder here at work to worship the divorce paperwork I have framed on the wall. I learned a lot from being married to the last one, and even though I had waited to marry her, it didn't do me any good. After I moved out, I started dating again, and I did a lot of screwing around. I have to say, it wasn't as fulfilling as I thought it would be. It's nothing I regret, but it didn't have any life-changing effect on me, othe than the fact I won't have the "what if" question lingering in my head anymore. I already had the rebound girlfriend after the marriage, and that was definitely good for me. She gave me the opportunity to say "to hell with it all" and I just decided to not care about anything anymore. I didn't care to get into anything serious ever again.
People change, no matter what. There are many people out there that will hide things. Looking back I found that I was never comfortable with her. I never felt like I could be myself, I always had to hold back. I couldn't say what I wanted to say because I didn't want to deal with her getting pissed off at me over stupid things. If I tried to touch her or anything, she'd push me away because she didn't like affection.
The girl I'm with now is perfect. I fell in love with her immediately. I am myself around her, and she is the same with me. She's open about everything in her life ,as I am with her. I don't feel like I have to hide who I am (I have a VERY sick sense of humor that offends a lot of people). The most important thing of all, is that she allows me to show her affection. Not only that, but she doesn't mind my love for guitar. I can play whenever I want without complaints.
Believe it or not, I met her on hotornot.com. She had a picture up there (obviously) and to be honest, I could have cared less about meeting her. It wasn't clear enough and the angle sucked. Turns out she's beautiful. Anyway, I had gotten back from New York (long drive) on the 27th of January, and was on base the next day visiting a friend. We had sent a couple emails back and forth, just small talk, and she decided to call me. We met up that afternoon, stood in the freezing rain for two hours talking, and I just knew right away she was right.
We set a date a couple weeks ago... and we're getting married on the 16th of April. Life has a lot of unexpected turns in it. I am still floored about all of this. I never saw it coming, and I can't be happier. I have to say the best things in life are things you just don't see coming.
Sorry about the long post... just wanted to share : )