getting my parents to understand guitars my life? - Jemsite
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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-17-2009, 08:31 AM Thread Starter
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getting my parents to understand guitars my life?

ok so
i used ot be liek massively into skateboarding and all that ****
and not much into guitar
but i broke my figner last year in spetember
and then had to start guitar over again
i theb got a boss gt8 for my bday, got a couple of gigs
ive really only been playing since then
but ive pretty much quit skating now (do it like once every 3 months)
and mum and dad are kinda upset?
they get annoyed i go home, do all mny chores and then site there practicing guitar,
i save all my money and they dont let me buy stuff?
like im saving for an evh phaser i had the money - but no - i mean wtf?
is there like someway i can really just convince them its like my air?
i mean i obsess about guitar
its like all i think about
but like i work at school and stuff its just guitar is more important and they dont want me to end up as a musician
i mean they wouldnt mind, but theyed prefer me to become like a historian (histories my number 1 subject apart fro music) or something, they think most musicians if not uber famous hardly get by life
im sorry im kinda venting
i mean obviously i love them and stuff but they can be pretty ya know . . parentish



Last edited by Cam-Vai; 07-17-2009 at 08:32 AM. Reason: spelling
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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-17-2009, 10:59 AM
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Re: getting my parents to understand guitars my life?

Well, first of all, they're right that a musician’s life is hard and often frustrating to the musician (and their family). But you could also point out that just because you play guitar all the time does not mean that you're going to drop out of school and live in a van. You can certainly be a player and do other things as well. You could major in history in school and minor in music. Or just play all the time when your studies are done and join a band or something. Many people on jemsite play all the time as well, have since we were young- and have very successful, normal jobs. I, for example, have a master’s degree, teach special ed, have a house and a nice family with a few kids, etc. Very stable and respectable stuff to be sure. I also have a kickass RGT220-CAH I just picked up and play every day (albeit, only at night after the kids are down these days). Playing guitar is my hobby- and I could think of a lot worse things to be into- especially at your age!

Please remember, too, that your parents have your best interest at heart. Is their resistance to the playing or to your obsession? Maybe they just think you're spending too much time on one thing- not getting out enough? They may be right, you know... I think if you talk to them about your intentions- and listen to them as well- you may find a nice middle ground. Good luck!
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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-17-2009, 03:04 PM
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Re: getting my parents to understand guitars my life?

ERM...... Firstly i'd say your parents are probably in truth (and i hate myself for saying it) partway right. You yourself have said "i used to be into skateboarding and all that ****".
I think that maybe you've put none too fine of point on it in saying that. Realise your parents have probably seen you evolve and want so many different things that its hard to accept that guitar might just be for you. Either way whilst you've earned your money from whatever and do your chore's, they would like you maybe not to squander it on "yet another fad."
Although a musical instrument is quite a mature pastime/hobby to take up, it can cause a great deal of frustration. Please don't underestimate just how difficult it is to make music your primary source of income, even the most committed amongst us here wouldn't put anywhere near enough time in practice to craft a worthwhile income from it.
The guitar is also a notorious tool for the angry teen to show some kind of rebelion. As for disregarding an education in favour of music, unless you are showing huge amounts of talent and have been earmarked as label worthy already i'd keep on with your school studies in earnest. I have a couple of enginers degree's and a royal northern college of music diploma, the diploma was taken after i started work. I earn a really good wage, have a nice house, a company car, a nice sports car, a classic bike and countless guitar related goodies.
A good education will support your musical aspirations all the more. I work hard, but because i do i play even hadrer!
By all means speak to them but in respectful manner about it, but don't expect them to jump through hoops for something they will almost certainly see as a whim.
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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-17-2009, 05:19 PM
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Re: getting my parents to understand guitars my life?

Parents are stubborn, they won't let a teenager change their beliefs, partly because they are right. You do not NEED equipment to make music, and especially so if you aren't playing out or in a band. You work with what you have. Most musicians start out with nothing before getting all of the fancy gadgets. You also don't need your parents permission to play guitar, if you want to do it, DO IT.
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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-17-2009, 05:43 PM
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Re: getting my parents to understand guitars my life?

my parents were exactly the same, just a fad in my life and something else for me to waste money on!

the fact i bought and sold about 5 diff guitars when in the first couple of years didn't help, but I stuck at it anyway. They weren't overly against it, just not for it!

Anyways I'm still playing today and their minds changed when they saw me play a gig at my school (GCSE leaving show) - after that they were totally for it, even though to me its just a hobby/release, at least they are ok about it!

They've even got to a point where they are interested - they really like this S540 I recently got
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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-17-2009, 07:57 PM
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Re: getting my parents to understand guitars my life?

Hey man, my parents were sorta the same. As it becomes more of your life and they see that im sure they will begin to understand it. It will come naturally. I'm sure that they understand that playing a musical instrument is good for you.
Maybe they are worried about the kids in the band? do they trust them all?
Over time my parents have seen that this is my life and support it fully. Ive been through 14 guitars in the past two years of playing(just turned 17 y/o) and they trust me on it now. yes 14.
Ibanez gio>ibanez rg2570evsl>JEM7vsbl>rga321f>s470>rg770>rg321>pgm30 1>framus diablo>apex2>rg1550m>rg7620>rg550>carvin dc400
Just wait it out. And of course dont constantly be making them angry with cranking up your amp and stuff. No need for that. That gives them a reason to be upset with your spending.
Also regarding purchases, try to show them that you are not making sporadic decisions. They want to see that you are spending your money wisely. I know sometimes parents think that you are making a sporadic decision when your not just because you enver mentioned what you were thinking about buying before to them. You get the idea
Good luck,

Last edited by GuitarEvan07; 07-17-2009 at 10:52 PM.
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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-17-2009, 09:40 PM
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Re: getting my parents to understand guitars my life?

There's a lot more to life than playing guitar.
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-17-2009, 09:42 PM
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Re: getting my parents to understand guitars my life?

Originally Posted by toneboy View Post
There's a lot more to life than playing guitar.
but is it all as fun?
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-17-2009, 11:17 PM Thread Starter
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Re: getting my parents to understand guitars my life?

The thing is I only play with an amp while they're out, don't know if I'm going to be the next vai(wish I could, but doubt it) but I'd live to work in a recording studio, or as a producer and stuff, they know it's not a fad, I've been doing violin since year 3, hence why I'm into neoclassical music and they know I generally dont bother myself with fads anymore. But like they know music is my life, they're not rally musicians ( dad does a bit of acoustic guitar, mum plays drums since her 50th in march) and dad owns well over 2000 CDs(yes, he's counted and. CAtegorised them) and since I was young I've always been into music(first album was theramones rocket to Russia) but I did talk to them and they kinds think all musicians live out of vans an that's want they'd scared of I think,it's understandable I guess, but everything in music. Works for me like our family friend is best friends with peter northcote (sydney best session guitarist) so I can get lessons of him and another friend knows ritchie blackore and ian gillin (his dad knew the manager from the 70"s) so I'll get to meet them and his plays on stage with them so I. Ight get to someday, I'll write more later, cuz I'm only iPhone now

Thanks guys

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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-18-2009, 04:38 AM
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Re: getting my parents to understand guitars my life?

Treat it like this. Music is now part of your life. You are young so don't rush decisions and incorporate a lot of experiences into your life and see what sticks. Guitar stuck for me, but football, hockey, skateboarding (me too bro) didn't. My parents weren't against me playing but when I wanted to "be a pro" they probably rolled their eyes. They too were always telling me not to blow my money on gear. Now I really appreciate it, I know that I'm glad I've turned down some great deals only to see that in the end it was a good choice.

They know things we don't. Actually now that I'm older and married I see a lot of what they were seeing in my students (I'm a teacher) you have to understand that:

1. Kids need to work at what they want to do, so we can't give them everything, nor allow them to take the easy road all the time. This also proves how motivated they are about their dream. I

2. Reality is reality. Here's a stiry to show you: I was in a successful band in my hometown area and surrounding counties, I quit eventually but they continued and got a record contract. You're thinking that's cool, but now they have no money and they have to find some way to generate cash all the time. They were dropped from their label and they haven't been picked up again. Their crowds wain and they are still putting college and careers on hold. It's not because they aren't good enough. When I left they stepped up and they are as good as any other band in the genre. IMO better than most, but reality is reality: it takes more than pure skill.

It takes lucky breaks, a lot of sacrifice, being in the right place at the right time and so much more. It's extremely unlikely that a young guitar player will become a successful musician. The world loves to say follow your dreams and to a point it's true but it's not always as easy as that, it's more than just hard work, and life isn't always fair. Your parents know a bit of this and that's why they act the way they do.

3. In the same way learning to be a responsible person is more important that learning anything else. That's why you just can't spend whatever you want, they're trying to teach you that someday you'll have a bigger more difficult choice to make and you have to start learning now.

I know I sound like a camp counselor or something, but it's true. Don't let it knock you down, be patient worry about your skills and your abilities, not gear. Try to become so good no one will deny you're serious. Show them through that, that you deserve a little bit of room so you can buy some gear. Show them you are responsible with other things like school, work, money and all so that they'll trust your decisions more too. Remember in 1 year there will still be cool gear to buy, and in 5, and in 10. It's not going to vanish so you can wait and you can practice while you do.
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post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-18-2009, 06:55 AM Thread Starter
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Re: getting my parents to understand guitars my life?

Thanks guys this is really starting to help me see the light LOL
I don't honestly own much gear, mum and dad sent me to a private school, we just scrape by but I'm so grateful, I used to hate it bit I know how lucky I am
I've talked to mum and dad and they agree I cab spend m money on gear, butninly if I rally need it (for instance an amp, so I can gig and not borrow other peoples) I think it is in their best interests but they want me to be a doctor lmao

Post more tomoz
Gotta do guitar practice

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post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-18-2009, 08:31 AM
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Re: getting my parents to understand guitars my life?

I'd say that if your parents are sending you to private school and want you to be a doctor, you should JUMP at that chance and give that your all.

Kotornut is right, it takes a lot more than being a great guitarist, or these days being in a marketable band, and knowing the right people and... and... it takes dumb luck too and you can't count on that.

And as Fretboardpyro has said, with good qualifications you can have all the gear you want and keep it in a nice house and drive to gigs in a company car or buy a van for your band and then retire early on a big fat pension to really pursue your hobby.

I'd show your parents you're serious about school first and foremost, then let them see you're serious about guitar.
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post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-18-2009, 04:21 PM
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Re: getting my parents to understand guitars my life?

Originally Posted by Cam-Vai View Post
i mean i obsess about guitar
Probably sick of hearing about it....mine always are
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post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-01-2009, 08:13 AM
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Re: getting my parents to understand guitars my life?

Ok, Your parents are probably right, or at least their reaction is totally understandable. You mention that you have played violin for a long time. If you are dropping this to focus on the guitar then (as a parent myself) I would be pretty annoyed to see all that time and money turned away from.

Dedicating your life to music is a tough road. I have a friend who is in one of the UK's biggest pop punk bands (not McFly or Busted) and he has no money, they tour Europe and Asia, and sell CD's etc, but he still has to work. He doesn't have another career because the music takes up so much time he can only manage to get casual work, which is not particulalry well payed.

I don't know how old you are, but assuming you are at an age when you can converse with your parents and have an adult conversation what you need to do is try to convince your parents that this is a major interest for you and that you are treating the time/money that you/they invest in a respectful and responsible way.

Here's a few ideas.

Learn some music that they like and play it for them.

Show your parents how the techniques you learnt on Violin and guitar differ, but also how knowledge of each instrument helps you with the other.

Talk to your parents about how you manage your income stream. Discuss putting the vast majority of what you earn (or get as allowance) into some sort of safe investment, with an amount given over to financing your hobbies. After all: all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Without any reference to music, start discussing your career prospects with your parents, and try and find out how they decided on what they do, and how they got where they are now. The bottom line is that most people don't plan their careers and get where they are by going with the flow, maybe they don't want you to do that.

I think it is fair to say that most parents want their children to exceed their own achievements. It is up to you to show your folks that you are acting responsibily and thinking about your future, and also being respectful of the resources you have.
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