How To Make Her Feel Better? - Jemsite
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 07:47 PM Thread Starter
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How To Make Her Feel Better?

Hey Everyone,
I know I don't post very much on here, but I do frequent Jemsite quite a bit. Well I guess I just need to kinda vent here, I'm not sure what to do.
My Girlfriend called me today and was really upset, she said she'd just got out of the doctor's office, and she had important news to tell me. I guess they told her that her blood flow was really off, and her pulse wasn't right, and they said most of that seemed to be way below average. Now, I'm not a doctor, I'm not sure what the hell all that means, but I guess they basically told her that n her current state, she probably won't be able to have children. They said shes barely sustaining herself, and it would take much more to sustain a child. I guess if she got pregnant she would most likely end it early in miscarriage, and that if it did go through, the child could very well possibly have deficiencies.

I guess you have to understand that we've always been planning for the future, and every time we've ever talked about kids, shes always wanted a lot. She has always look forward to raising a big family, and shes never really wanted anything else.

We are very young(both 15), but we've known each other since we were around 7 or 8, and we live less than a mile down the road from each other.

While we definitely won't be having kids any time soon, shes really concerned and upset with this, and I guess I don't really know what to tell her, I know more amazing things have happened before, and I hope things can change over the next few years. I just want her to be able to get everything she wants out of life, and having kids was definitely a huge factor in there.

I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest, so to speak. Thanks for letting me vent.


Last edited by Hutch34; 06-18-2007 at 09:22 PM. Reason: Spacing.
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 08:08 PM
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Re: How To Make Her Feel Better?

I guess on the plus side only being 15 maybe she can get better with time
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 08:43 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How To Make Her Feel Better?

Yeah, I sure hope so. Apparently she has to take 12 pills a day and stick to some meal plan or something I'm not really sure about everything yet, hopefully things will get better.
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-19-2007, 12:41 AM
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Re: How To Make Her Feel Better?

Stay positive and make sure your girl is happy. If she thinks positive it can affect her insides. The brain has powers that are not yet understood, and can be very helpfull in self regeneration. I know it sounds like something from the X-men, but its true. She can will herself better.

Good luck and get your self or download a copy of "The Secret", it talks about positive thought and self healing.....
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-19-2007, 02:26 AM
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Re: How To Make Her Feel Better?

Of course the other thing to do which makes everything better is to tell her you love her, and mean it!
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-19-2007, 03:05 AM
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Re: How To Make Her Feel Better?

you guys are only 15 and have all these plans for your future?? Wow! I'm impressed! Judging from your post, you seem much more mature than that.

Originally Posted by Hutch34 View Post
Yeah, I sure hope so. Apparently she has to take 12 pills a day and stick to some meal plan or something I'm not really sure about everything yet, hopefully things will get better.
How typical!!! John......take her to a different doctor(s) and get a second (third and fourth) opinion before you let them start stuffing a zillion pills down her gullet.

There is not enough detail there if all they told you/her is that the blood flow / pulse is off. Get details like Blood Pressure / heart rate, etc. Does she get much exercise?? Get another opinion!! You'd be surprised how much it will probably vary. Don't just let her start talking 12 pills a day.

good luck....and contrary to what your mom always told ya, doctors are NOT always right Keep a posistive attitude and support her as much as possible and GO SEE ANOTHER DOCTOR!
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-19-2007, 03:50 AM
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Re: How To Make Her Feel Better?

Yup. Totally go see another doctor or two. If you choose technical track for your higher education, you'll probably learn about Bayes probability estimation. You can read about it in wikipedia, just search for "bayes theorem" and if you don't follow the math, just scroll down to "drug testing" example and see the problem description and the result.

If there's any possibility for the test to be wrong, one would have to be stupid to start taking strong drugs without getting a second opinion.

And dude, don't put together any far reaching plans for your life at 15. I'm past 30, I'm relatively well off, and I can't plan more than a couple of years ahead. And even then my plans often turn out to be wrong.
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-19-2007, 10:44 AM
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Re: How To Make Her Feel Better?

My primary concern would be in seeing her get healthy and then staying healthy. Don't worry about kids or houses or dogs or any of that noise (which is just what it is at this point) until she is healthy. If her insurance (or her parent's insurance) allows her to see other doctors in her plan or network, tell her to ask her Mom to get her another doctor and another opinion. Think about it, in a medical class of graduating doctors only one person graduates first in their class The rest are all over the place in terms how hard they'll work, how much they know, and to what degree they actually care. No good doctor will have a problem with her seeking a second opinion (like anyone, they like confirmation that they're right). A 15 year old on 12 pills a day doesn't sound right to me.
Now would be a good time for Andre to pop in....
Glen, any thoughts?
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-19-2007, 11:00 AM
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Re: How To Make Her Feel Better?

Originally Posted by Hutch34 View Post
...I guess they basically told her that in her current state, she probably won't be able to have children.
John, that sems fair for a doctor to say that (espeacially if asked specifically about that).Is your girlfriend really focussed on having kids? Or is it only mentioned by passing?

I agree with Jim777 and all the others, forget all the other stuff, you are planning WAY too ahead. It's great to have ambition but you should really take it in your stride. Priorities change at different stages in life

Getting her well is the absolute priority! And any stressful thoughts about future expectations etc should be put on hold.

Props for being so responsible at your age. Good luck!
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-19-2007, 11:27 AM Thread Starter
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Re: How To Make Her Feel Better?

Thanks for all of the support and everything, it means a lot!

I'm sure there was more to it than what she told me, I didn't go with her to the doctor or anything, but I was a little surprised when they told her she needed to start taking all these pills and doing different things like that. I guess her mother's pregnancy was very rough and they said that was probably the cause for most of this, but like I said I'm not a doctor, I don't know very much about that stuff.

She definitely wants kids and all of that, but she didn't ask them about anything that had to do with kids, they just kinda sat her down and talked with her dad I guess and said that right now, it didn't look to good. I think that is one of the things helping me out right now, is they said it could probably get better with time, so I'm crossing my fingers.

All of you are probably right, we shouldn't really be planning all of this out and everything, and we don't mean to that much, it just kind of happens. I understand that life is a pathway that can constantly change, I know that what might seem unbreakable now, can always fall down tomorrow. We really do care about each other though, and right now we're just trying to make it through. This for me isn't so much worrying about our future together, its making sure that shes happy, and that she can make it through this and come out on top. I just want the best for her and I want her dreams to come true, even if that means its not with me, thats not really my concern, my concern is helping her get on the pathway she needs to help accomplish those dreams.

To Ibanezfreak777, Thanks for mentioning that, she actually does have a copy of that at her house, and its one of her favorite movies. I'm sure we'll end up watching it this week sometime after everything.

Thanks for all the support and guidance, it really does mean a lot!

By the way, music is one of her passions as well(she plays piano very well), and she loves guitar music, I can't even recall how many times I've showed her some of the videos you guys post up here on Jemsite!



Last edited by Hutch34; 06-19-2007 at 11:29 AM. Reason: I hate incorrectly spelled words!
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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-19-2007, 05:22 PM
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Re: How To Make Her Feel Better?

first off, she is only 15. her body hasn't fully developed yet so i would not be concerned as of yet at all. 2nd, what does it mean that her body isn't sustaining itself well? is she not eating well? what is she doing wrong that she isn't sustaining herself? and what exactly does not sustaining mean? to what degree? to me that sounds more serious than not being able to have kids. all in all, she should go to a 2nd and even 3rd doctor without question. i know she wants kids and that is great but man, at 15...way too early to be thinking of that. not sure when you plan on having them but i have had friends who had them too young...17 and even 19....ruined their lives completely! kids will come with time and if she can't have them it's in God's hands and nothing you can do about it. focus on each other and how you are going to plan your life. be happy and that will help things as well. save all the money you can and do things right. good luck.
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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-19-2007, 05:46 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How To Make Her Feel Better?

Let me make something clear, we definitely don't want kids right now, or anytime soon. My sister got pregnant when she was 15, and that really affected her life, it took her another 15 years later and shes finally getting it back on track. But like I said, she really does want to have kids and raise a big family ONE day, and this just really gave her a big scare. She seems to be back to her normal self now though.

As far as I know, at least when I'm around her(which is a lot) she eats just fine, and she gets enough excercise and all of that stuff. As far as sustaining herself, I'm not sure exactly what they mean. I'm not sure if maybe thats an exaggeration or not. I mean, I sure hope it is. I'm not exactly sure of everything they told her and her dad when they were there, but they said her pulse was really low, and I really don't remember too much about the rest of it to be honest. We play basketball and volleyball, and we swim a lot, and it doesn't seem to bother her or anything as far as like physical activities goes. I don't know, I think everythings going to be fine now, I'll see if she can go to another doctor, and we'll just try to do everything right I guess. Hopefully everything will work out for the best.


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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-19-2007, 05:47 PM
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Re: How To Make Her Feel Better?

there are allways loads of adopted babies out there who will need a good mum and dad. im certainly keeping it open as an option.
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