I am a strange, hypocritical person - Jemsite
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post #1 of 59 (permalink) Old 03-23-2008, 10:34 PM Thread Starter
 
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I am a strange, hypocritical person

I'm 17 years old, and I have a head full of confusion. There are some things about me that confuse me. I'd like to share my weird feelings with you all, and maybe some of you can help me make some sense out of it. Here goes...
My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years, and I love her to death. I am a fairly liberal musician, though I have some conservative thoughts like if you're going to do something, do it well...blah blah, very grandfather type stuff. But she is a VERY liberal rebellious person...the way she's been brought has assured this. She's had very little family love/compassion her entire life, and finally last year she became quite a partier/pothead. I made her cool down, and she introduced me to marijuana, which I thoroughly enjoy from time to time. She writes fantastic, funny, witty, satirical short stories and poems. Like I said, I love her to death. Our relationship is very mature for our age and I can honestly see us getting married one day. But here's the weird part...
On the topic of her very liberal, rebellious nature, she sometimes pisses me off, even though I might agree with her on a given subject. Or maybe reading the poetry she wrote when she was stoned makes me mad, or thinking of when she was a big pothead. It ENRAGES me for some reason, even though we agree on alot of things and I enjoy the wacky tobacky from time to time myself. She's heading off to college next year (I'll be senior in high school) and I'm paranoid that she's going to party a crap load and become and bum and get raped or something, even though I know her will is very strong. She is determined to not suck like her mom and works VERY hard, but I have this constant paranoia about her for no reason. I hope you, so far, understand.
I understand why thinking back to her pothead days makes me mad, because she was spending a lot of time with a bunch of shady dudes (I'm also a very jealous guy...if I see her talking to another man, I get mildly upset, though I've learned to suppress it) and I was scared for her well-being. But getting mad at her satirical poetry or ideas is weird because I agree with her. Another very odd example is that we watched "The Doors" movie a couple nights ago...I was telling her how it was getting me in the mood to try shrooms and she was telling me that it was a dumb idea. Today she was at work and it was slow and she finished the movie, called me, and said that she was in the mood to smoke, and I got mad! Which of course made me mad at myself. I wasn't outwardly mad at her, I just agreed with what she was saying. The thought of her partying with other people upsets me too.
She is sort of into that Zen/Buddha style hippie thing and I'm not, which is cool, but she writes alot about that stuff and reading it upsets me. These are all just examples of what it's like, and no, my life isn't drugs...just alot of these examples pertain to them. It's not totally serious, though I'm making it sound like it is; it doesn't consume me. It's just mildly annoying. I've gotten alot better at accepting her hippie ways, and I'm starting to mimic some of them.
The bottom line is that I get angry at some things that I agree with. What the hell?
smitty
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post #2 of 59 (permalink) Old 03-23-2008, 11:00 PM
 
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Re: I am a strange, hypocritical person

Stay off the dope. That's my only advice.
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post #3 of 59 (permalink) Old 03-23-2008, 11:05 PM
 
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Re: I am a strange, hypocritical person

+1. My old housemate smoked way too much and started having these hissy fits. He was convinced I thought he was stupid (which I didn't). It was bizarre. There is also the possibility that you're just insane

Anyway be ready for some mix-up next year - many relationships can't handle the "going away to uni" separation. Just a heads up.
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post #4 of 59 (permalink) Old 03-24-2008, 12:07 AM
 
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Re: I am a strange, hypocritical person

Reading this reminds me of how glad I am not to do any drugs or drink or any of that crap.
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post #5 of 59 (permalink) Old 03-24-2008, 12:13 AM
 
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Red face Re: I am a strange, hypocritical person

You're young yet so don't think that you have to know everything because you never will...

You'll get older and know more, but never everything...

I trust my wife, so when she wants to go out...I don't care...because I trust her. Jealousy only rears it's head when there is no trust or very little of it...

plus, we have 4 children so if she cheats she'll get full custody...
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post #6 of 59 (permalink) Old 03-24-2008, 12:28 AM
 
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Re: I am a strange, hypocritical person

dude

your relationship is as solid as top ramen
your still so young and girls that young, well let me tell you she probably doesnt take you seriously and knows shes going off to college and all ties are cut, you know cut your losses and move on....

if i were you id shape up and ride it while it lasts....and as for her going off to college and you not being there, just expect nothing and the worst too....college is a mess, and girls get taken advantage of. and girls place themselves in that position. and for your understanding that shes a partier, its just addict behavior. and you are her crutch

once she goes to college and thinks nobody is looking over her shoulder(like you have been with toning her down), shes going to party hard with the next guy who gets her trashed and the rest is easy to fill in....

and as for if she was your gf and she hangs out with those dude becasue SHE wants to, and if it bothers you she wouldnt do it if she really cared...
man ive dated a bunch of gals, and i realised this is a fairty tale i know too well, just how you described it

and those guys, well you know what they want

man, have a great time, but girls...well college is whee they draw the line...how many relationships last through college...ya know?? how many of her HS friends will she have after college..?? get the hintorino

ps im not trying to be cruel i just think you are young and soo much more to look forward than to try to control this gal whom you are concerned about....shes obviously addict material, i used be be a bad addict, i sepnt alot of time and ive met alot of addict people.

take care dude
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post #7 of 59 (permalink) Old 03-24-2008, 12:29 AM
 
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Re: I am a strange, hypocritical person

Quote:
Originally Posted by DEADTUNES666 View Post
You're young yet so don't think that you have to know everything because you never will...

You'll get older and know more, but never everything...

I trust my wife, so when she wants to go out...I don't care...because I trust her. Jealousy only rears it's head when there is no trust or very little of it...

plus, we have 4 children so if she cheats she'll get full custody...
so quick to unload them....??
does that mean that -4 kids
makes +4 guitars??
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post #8 of 59 (permalink) Old 03-24-2008, 07:27 AM
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Re: I am a strange, hypocritical person

im not into drugs but years ago i smoked dope,and a mate of mine asked me to try these mushrooms STAY WELL CLEAR OF THEM i had 50,its just mass paranoia i was stoned for weeks flashbacks for months n months i thought i was going really mad.dont do it mate its not a relaxing buzz like dope it really puts your head in the bin.like i said im not a druggy just a stupid thing i did when i was younger.speaking of poets william wordsworth used to eat these mushrooms while writing poetry (fool).
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post #9 of 59 (permalink) Old 03-24-2008, 07:36 AM
 
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Re: I am a strange, hypocritical person

Quote:
Originally Posted by DEADTUNES666 View Post

plus, we have 4 children so if she cheats she'll get full custody...
ROFLMAO
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post #10 of 59 (permalink) Old 03-24-2008, 08:05 AM
 
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Re: I am a strange, hypocritical person

#1...If your a jealous type of guy...You need to fix that crap. That will do nothing but ruin even a good relationship. She's going off to college, her being liberal and all....What do you think she's going to do, tuck her self away in her dorm room and study whilst gazing at pictures of you???? She's going to party her ASS off at college. Just like you will if you go. This is the entire "trust" part of the relationship....Do you trust her and maybe get burned? Or do you constantly worry about what's going on while your not around? See though, when it all comes down to it, college isn't the problem, it's your relationship with her because if your asking yourself these questions, there is obviously a lack of trust, and in order for there to be some sort of "lack of trust thing" then she's no doubt done some things to question your trust in her....It's not a "liberal vs. conservative" thing at all. I know plenty of conservative women who behind closed doors would make the best of liberals blush. I think maybe your getting that confused with something else. This is what happens, to a lot of people, throughout the entire world...sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. It's all a part of getting older. Rarely does a relationship work going from HS to college. You meet A LOT of new people. Throw crap like dope into the mix and you start meeting A LOT of new, BAD people. This isn't something that is suppose to make you all worried and possesive, I'm just filling you in on what (in my experience) can, and does happen. Sure you guys might get married, you might not. Dude your still in HS.....Marriage and relationships should be the furthest thing from your mind. Take care of YOU, get your **** together so you can further your education, get a great job doing the things YOU want to do in life. I have yet to come across someone who made it through life and owed his success to some girl he humped on for 2 years through HS.......Just my two bits......
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post #11 of 59 (permalink) Old 03-24-2008, 08:33 AM
 
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Re: I am a strange, hypocritical person

You're not strange or hypocritical, you're just a teenager.

Just stay off drugs, risky peer-induced stupid things and pregnancy, and eventually you'll be just fine.
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post #12 of 59 (permalink) Old 03-24-2008, 09:05 AM
 
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Re: I am a strange, hypocritical person

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Originally Posted by caprile View Post
You're not strange or hypocritical, you're just a teenager.

Just stay off drugs, risky peer-induced stupid things and pregnancy, and eventually you'll be just fine.
That's what I meant to say!!!!!
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post #13 of 59 (permalink) Old 03-24-2008, 10:50 AM
 
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Re: I am a strange, hypocritical person

True love doesn't involve controlling some-one! If you feel you can't trust her then she isn't the one for you. If you can't handle her past then those are your issues, she can't change what she's done and who she's been. If she can't be commited to you then you deserve better.
Enjoy what you have for now, don't let things screw your life and when the time comes be prepared to move on. Sure....it'll hurt for a while, that's the down side of having feelings!!!
Lifes journey will have many twists and turns! Some moments you'll never want to end.....some seem un-ending no matter how quickly you wish they would.

Learn to be strong NOW......coz life gets waaaay more confusing
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post #14 of 59 (permalink) Old 03-24-2008, 11:13 AM
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Re: I am a strange, hypocritical person

Andy's right.

To the thread starter, dude, you're 17. I was banging as many ladies as I could back then, and I'm glad I did. If you were 35, I could maybe understand your post. You will know when you meet the right woman. I've been through the relationships where there was no trust, I spent well over 10 years doing that and I know how much it sucks, but when you meet the right girl, you will know.
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post #15 of 59 (permalink) Old 03-24-2008, 11:15 AM
 
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Re: I am a strange, hypocritical person

Quote:
Originally Posted by andy7jem View Post
True love doesn't involve controlling some-one! If you feel you can't trust her then she isn't the one for you.
I'm not sure about that mate. I think you can be truely in love but not trust the other person. Basically it comes down to problems with your own insecurity, which manifests itself by mistrust of others. Unfortunately this will only end in one way, misery! I myself was madly in love with this girl years ago, but like a fool lost her through my insecurities and not trusting her

Smitty, all I can say it enjoy life and if you are meant to be together, her going to college will not ultimately be a problem. Plus you are still young and in my experience to find someone who you're going to spend the rest of your life with at that age is rare.
As Andy say's if it doesn't work out, sure they'll be some hurt but as the saying goes, there's plenty of fish in the sea
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