Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Longmont, Colorado
Re: living with your mother-in-law
You're in a tough spot, if you say no, it will at a minimum create copious amounts of friction in your relationship with your wife, at most, you may have plenty of private time. I don't envy you your situation, the thoughts of my MIL having to move in with us wouldn't thrill me in the least, I don't discriminate, I love my own Mom, but I wouldn't like the thoughts of her living with us either.
I think, and trust me, I'm not an expert in family relations, that if you agree to this, you need to have some terms that you go in with. You need a place to place, minimum is a basement that can be sound dampened (total soundproofing is physically impossible) or better, a secondary detached building/garage/whatever that can be your fortress of solitude.
That's only part of the equation, and the easier one to fix. The other part is the privacy issue, face it, alot of us don't totally "let our hair down", even around family, now that we half left the nest. Especially around in-laws, we didn't grow up around them so they are technically family. It sounds like you had a good relationship with them and were close, that's good, but I think you know what I mean. So, the face that you put on when you are around them now will become more of a permanent thing. It will settle down as time goes on, but it will change how you act at your home.
I don't know man, you need to alone time to think about it for yourself too, you're kinda in a no-win situation that you and your wife are going to have to figure out the best compromise to. So, sorry, no real advice, more just observations.
Most experts say that you should not make these kinds of major decisions for at least 6 months after a loss like this. I would try to convince them of that. Who knows, she may end up disliking living with you more than you think you are going to dislike the situation now, then everyone is stuck.
Last edited by rgr; 06-01-2006 at 02:39 PM.