So I just quit the band I was playing with last weekend. Sent a really respectful email out to 4 of the other 5 members, and called the other one and left a message for him to call me back, he has not. Have been with these people for 2 years and have done nothing but donate time to rehearsal, gigs, and studio time. Never made a penny. First time in my life I've never made ANY money playing music. 2 of the members are husband and wife and they are "the boss's", essentially making all of the decisions even when they ask for our input, the eventually just did what they wanted.
I took a year off from my normal professional career, and relocated to another state to be in this project. They made it sound really promising at the time, lots of proverbial irons in fires. Soundtrack possibilities etc.,, none of that ever panned out.
I was ready to bail a year ago and this is why I hadn't. When we relocated I took out a $25,000 loan on a 401k in order to essentially take a year off(to cover all of my expenses) and devote all of my energy to this projet, with my wifes consent. It seemed that promising. We are still paying that loan back. We relocated, sold our house and bought another one near the band. To the tune of a $55,000 down payment on our home.
That part is ok, we like our house, but would have looked elswhere for something aliitle more secluded. Still that is $80,000 invested just to be here for this project.
Well I put up with it for another year just to see if I could possible recover some of our investment into the band, and finally decided that it was effecting the quality of life with my family. Too much stress and strain on the marital end, we were just unhappy, so it was time for a change,
So I cut my losses and moved forward with life. I feel fortunate that I have a loving wife who has a good career job, as do I.
I have remained friends with the drummer, and keyboardist since my departure. I have not heard from the bassist. By the way I am the lead guitar player(Jem 7vwh, and a BRMR). Drums and keys feel the same as I do, and the drummer was suprised that I quit before he did, allthough I dind't know that he was allready looking for another gig.
I don't mind the monetary loss, what bothers me is how the husband and wife team were allways telling us how much $ they have spent. Blah blah blah, not even close to my total. And I even offered to pay for mand things including my own studio time, which they rejected.
It is because they want to have ALL of the control over everything. They are self admitted control freaks. They learned this weekend that they don't control me.
Not hearing from the bassist tells me that they have their hooks into him, as they have helped him out a lot in the past, financialy, and other ways. It is too bad, I thought we were all friends.
Plus the drummer came over to my house after being at "the boss's" house while they read my email, and did a total 180 on their opinion of me, called me some pretty nasty names, and said some really nasty things about how and what happens to me. F them!
They are just bitter and resentful that they have to recruit NEW robots to do what they need in order for "HER" to further her career. The one good thing is that my friend the drummer, stood his ground and defended me, only to have the husband escort him out of their house saying that there was nothing to talk about. F'n controling [email protected]
Drummer has since moved on this week, and joined another band that the duo despises. I am so proud him. They are trying to recruit me, but I kinda just wanna take some time and enjoy normalcy returning.
By the way, I did speak with the husband on the phone informing him that I was leaving the band prior to the email going out, I wasn't trying to be chikens%$t about it, and talked to everybody that would pick up their phone, then I sent out the resignation. After all we were an LLC.
If you made it all the way through this post I commend you and welcome any and all comments.
Not sure if this was the right place to post this. Thanks