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post #1 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-21-2011, 08:30 PM Thread Starter
 
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lost whole family.

Well after several tries me and my old lady have split up . She wanted more than i could give her .All i ever did was love them and work.
She took all the kids and wont let me see them
Only one was mine she is 3 and the other two i cared for also.
What do you do when everything you care for is suddenly gone and you have to start over.

I think of the movie rocky , that i should pick myself up again and never give up.

i wake up every morning thinking immediately about it .

I have been with other women since but it's not the same.
4 years of a noisey house even the walls are confused.
Will my daughter forget me before i get some kind of visitation?
Enjoy every minute of your family because you never know when they will be gone.
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post #2 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-21-2011, 08:49 PM
 
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Re: lost whole family.

When I get in trouble I watch movies, they take me far away to another world. It helps me forget for a while and I can breath again. Also work as much as you can. Keep yourself busy.

Just stay away from alcohol or drugs.

My mom died in 2008, a good friend hang up himself in 2009 and my girlfriend left me one month ago. My experience with pain is longer but don't bother. I am used with pain, death and suffer. And you know what? I don't break down. I am still a happy man and live my life at full.

It's just a matter of time. If you can do it well a month all the rest is a piece of cake. Now your mind is a bit cloudy and can't think very clear. You'll be better later.

Then you can think clear and find a very good lawyer to help you get the right to spend time with your kids. Always go for the best lawyers, the ones with a reputation. They're worth every penny. At least in my experience they were.
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post #3 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-21-2011, 09:02 PM
 
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Re: lost whole family.

dude, my condolences go to both of you. im only 15, and i have not yet experienced stuff like that, last year, my grandpa died, they thought he was getting better, then one day, he just stopped breathing. he lived to be in his 90's. all he ever did was earn an honest living, he was a farmer in saskatchewan, was in ww2, and hurt his leg, and it was never the same. i think its amazing to be his grandson.
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post #4 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-21-2011, 09:49 PM
 
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Re: lost whole family.

You need to appreciate every breathe you draw into your body, that allows you to live life, love, hate, laugh etc... No matter what happens in life, you can choose to be happy or not.

You get a parking ticket, being upset and angry wont change the fact, so why not just be happy

My wife and I have been listening to a great man who is more then likely the most intelligent man on the planet and has for certain found the secret to living a happy life.

Prem Rawat

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1FCzDz8npY

Trust me have an open mind and an open heart and you will know the way to true inner peace whenever you want it...
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post #5 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-21-2011, 11:20 PM
 
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Re: lost whole family.

IbanezFreak777 thanks for the vid.

It's drop dead gorgeous.
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post #6 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-21-2011, 11:38 PM
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Re: lost whole family.

Quote:
Originally Posted by andrewsfury View Post
Well after several tries me and my old lady have split up . She wanted more than i could give her .All i ever did was love them and work.
She took all the kids and wont let me see them
Only one was mine she is 3 and the other two i cared for also.
What do you do when everything you care for is suddenly gone and you have to start over.
Take every day of your life one day at a time. If you can't do that take every hour of your day one hour at a time.

It does get easier. Not necessarily better, but definitely easier.

Eventually you'll meet someone new and you'll form a new bond with a new partner.

What is most important is to maintain a civil relationship with your Ex. That way you will be able to hopefully see you daughter without too much hassle. You need to put her first now more than ever and suck it up if necessary so she grows up knowing who her father is.

Remember.

It does get easier.
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post #7 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-22-2011, 12:20 AM
 
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Re: lost whole family.

Things will get better.
Keep your self busy and don't do anything you may regret that could jeopardize you seeing your little girl.
Everything happens for a reason, I know that sounds cliche', but you will get to another point in your life where this will ring true.
Hang in there man.
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post #8 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-22-2011, 12:36 AM
 
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Re: lost whole family.

sorry to hear that man. sucks. time will eventually "heal" much of it. as the others said, get out, be busy. Don't sit home alone thinking.

Best to you
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post #9 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-22-2011, 07:56 AM Thread Starter
 
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Re: lost whole family.

Sounds good all. I have actually been doing most of this advice.
I was just putting it out there , i needed to get it off my chest i guess.
You guys are cool people. Thanks.

Although i did break one advice and dogged the x for having 7 guy friends i never met after one day of her making a facebook page. I thought it was strange considering she said she wasnt dating behind my back.

I did apolagise to her and then stated i just wanted to see my little girl.

But if she wasnt using my little girl against me i wouldnt even have cared that much.

Every time we split up she took my girl from me and when we was together i was magically a good father again and could see my girl.
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post #10 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-22-2011, 08:27 AM
 
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Re: lost whole family.

Your wife should be smart enough to realize she's hurting the girl in the process. Get your visitation in place. Depending on what was agreed on in the divorce filings if there are any make sure you get her every week.
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post #11 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-22-2011, 09:25 AM
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Re: lost whole family.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dragsternj View Post
Your wife should be smart enough to realize
Never count on that.


Sorry to hear about the upheaval, but it sounds like long term it's for the best.

You're going to have to really control yourself and take ownership of the situation which creates challenges for you. You have full visitation and custody rights of your child. Exert them. Regrettably, the other two kids she can make invisible to you. This comes with the territory since you are not their legal guardian in any way, shape or form.

You can only hope that she puts the kids first and selfish desires second. You can make your child understand how important she is to you, regardless of what mom says or doese. Your Ex is using your child in a power struggle and you need to maintain full composure else risk being painted as an unfit dad. That is an easy trap she can create and walk you right into. Don't let her. Good luck... glen
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post #12 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-22-2011, 11:24 AM
 
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Re: lost whole family.

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Originally Posted by andrewsfury View Post
. . .
I was just putting it out there , i needed to get it off my chest i guess.
You guys are cool people. Thanks.
. . .
Man, I'm sorry to hear your news. I realize you're going through a painful time. Once again we're reminded (as when Dee passed away) that there are a bunch of real guys out there playing guitar and living their lives, connecting through this website about an electric guitar.


Peace

Mike
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post #13 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-22-2011, 11:45 AM
 
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Red face Re: lost whole family.

Things happen for a reason...We may not know what they are when we're going through them, but eventually we find out!

This is tough, and a loss not easily forgotten...

What you can do is be open for your daughter, and let your wife make her own mistakes and triumphs on her own. One day your child will look at you guys and ask why you each made Mommy or Daddy go away? At this point you want to make sure you've done everything in your power to have been the Daddy and ex husband she needed. Your conscience must be clear and clean. If she withholds your daughter from you it will only bite her in the ass later on. If there is to be no visitation, then write to your daughter, and make sure you send the letters with delivery confirmation and a signature required. This way if she doesn't get the letters, you've done everything to stay in her life and you'll have that proof!

Make sure when your daughter asks you why you left you're able to be blame free...

As for the other men, your daughter sees the sun setting and rising on your face everyday and no one can take that place for her. Again, let your wife fvck her own sh!t up, and be there to emotionally help solve your daughters problems. The children that aren't yours, you must let them go emotionally, unless you are their adopted Father. Their Mother has all rights to them, and you cannot interfere!
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post #14 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-22-2011, 12:05 PM
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Re: lost whole family.

Yep--listen to the others! Keep yourself busy. Put in extra hours at work, play your guitar more, find a new hobby that defines the new you, etc. It will get better with time. You also know you can shoot me some messages here, through my email, and on FB. I'm here if you need to vent. I also think I speak for most others on that, too. You didn't lose your whole family--there rest of us are still here...



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post #15 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-22-2011, 06:24 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: lost whole family.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AlaskaBat View Post
Yep--listen to the others! Keep yourself busy. Put in extra hours at work, play your guitar more, find a new hobby that defines the new you, etc. It will get better with time. You also know you can shoot me some messages here, through my email, and on FB. I'm here if you need to vent. I also think I speak for most others on that, too. You didn't lose your whole family--there rest of us are still here...
You guys are awesome. Thanks for all the great advice. I am feeling better about the whole thing today and am concentrating all energy on work and my baby girl.
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