Problems at Home - Jemsite
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post #1 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 08:50 AM Thread Starter
 
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Problems at Home

Lately my brother has become worse, everytime i see him hes high. He gets jobs quits them cause he feels like it and then dumps mobile phone bills on my parents who are too nice or loving to refuse even tho they cant afford it.
He lives at home and takes advantage, doesnt do anything to contribute to the home, doesnt do anything around here, leaves his **** lying everywhere and doesnt clean it up. Theres not enough rooms in the house so i have to share a room with him, and put up with when he comes home late after partying and wakes me up via opening the door and throwing his **** on the floor and smelling like cigerette smoke.

And all the while my family's financial stretch becomes larger, my brother complains about jobs he has and and is a general sook for no reason about his jobs.
He has less education than me yet he gets alot of jobs he applies for because hes charismatic and younger i guess.

And all the while i'm here trying to get a job and have a good chance with this traineeship and amp trying to get over this CTS so i can work but i'm scared of him ****ing up again and ruining my future because right now since i get so little support money from the govt i have to rely on what little support my parents can give me. And get this... he gets paid more welfare than me and hes not even disabled (i am autistic), hes just a lazy stoned half the time ****. Who will get bored of smoking weed one day and will probably want something new to try when the high gets boring.

And thats when my paranoia kicks in. What if he becomes an addict and he starts stealing our **** to support his habit. What if he steals my belongings to pawn so he has drug money.

And this is where the scary part comes up and i know everyone on this board is gonna think me a freak, i keep this bottled inside i rarely talk about it, i never talk to him about it. And i have to admit. i'm starting to really hate him. Sometimes i even want to hurt him. I see him as potentially ruining the little shots i have in life cause hes a prick who is a waste. I used to envy him when we were younger, he seemed to have it so much easier socially and now hes such a waste.
I know how this seems like a cry for attention and in a way it is, but from the perspective of i dont know what to do and need any advice i can get.

Dan
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post #2 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 08:54 AM
 
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Re: Problems at Home

Intervention time.
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post #3 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 09:07 AM
 
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Re: Problems at Home

My cousins the same, except he doesnt (and never had) a job. He used to come up here to stay a bit until dad threw him through a window.

Hes still a piece of **** but at least he doesnt come here anymore.
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post #4 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 09:23 AM
 
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Re: Problems at Home

He sounds like the kind of person that shouldn't be smoking at all. I smoke, but I keep proactive, a job and I try my best to be considerate of the people in my house, so far no complaints and I've smoked for years. I think the people that just sit there all day and get stoned beyond being able to do anything useful shouldn't smoke at all, it keeps up the stereotype that all stoners are lazy good for nothings and it bothers me. If I were you, I'd try my best to just stay away from him as much as you can, or talk to your parents or him about it, something got to be done or he will persist with the way he's living his life...
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post #5 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 09:36 AM
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Re: Problems at Home

Alert the local authorities. They have programs designed to help.
If that doesn't work, maybe he needs a good scare - like getting arrested- to shake him out of his mindset.
If that doesn't work, you parents need to kick him out of the house.
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post #6 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 09:36 AM
 
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Re: Problems at Home

One of my mates has a younger brother like that aswell and hes got a foto on his phone of his brother the last time he kicked the shi.t outof him. Thats what older brothers are there for arent they?, set him straight.
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post #7 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 09:59 AM
 
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Re: Problems at Home

If he's under 18, have your parents register his ass in the army
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post #8 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 12:12 PM
 
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Re: Problems at Home

Quote:
Originally Posted by jb4674 View Post
If he's under 18, have your parents register his ass in the army

+1 Amen
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post #9 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 03:40 PM
 
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Re: Problems at Home

Make sure all of your stuff is insured and hike his ass to a rehab clinic. As hard as it may be this needs to be done or as horrible as it may be tell him to find his own place and change all the locks on the house.

My mother has been working at the detox unit in Canberra for I think 18 years now. As bad as it is she still sometimes sees people who were coming through when she started. But you gotta try something, he needs to go to one of these places.

And as others have said you need to try and have an intervention or something to get through to him. Make sure the people there have had a significant impact at some point in his life and are strong enough to really tell him like it is. An intervention with people who aren't going to stand up to him are not going to be much use.
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post #10 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 08:42 PM
 
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Re: Problems at Home

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Originally Posted by LonePhantom View Post
Make sure all of your stuff is insured and hike his ass to a rehab clinic. As hard as it may be this needs to be done or as horrible as it may be tell him to find his own place and change all the locks on the house.

My mother has been working at the detox unit in Canberra for I think 18 years now. As bad as it is she still sometimes sees people who were coming through when she started. But you gotta try something, he needs to go to one of these places.

And as others have said you need to try and have an intervention or something to get through to him. Make sure the people there have had a significant impact at some point in his life and are strong enough to really tell him like it is. An intervention with people who aren't going to stand up to him are not going to be much use.
Stoners arent worth rehab, thats for ice and heroin junkies.

Its hard to grasp how selfish they can be, you cant have an intervention

Because the're full of shi.t and will say whatever they think you want them

to say.

Just talk to your parents and convince them to

kick him out and stop giving him money.
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post #11 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 09:31 PM
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Re: Problems at Home

im 12 so this is the best advice i can give. if hes gonna keep doing this, kick him out. if hes willing to stop getting high, then you get hm to a rehab clinic. how old is he>?
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post #12 of 23 (permalink) Old 11-01-2006, 01:29 AM Thread Starter
 
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Re: Problems at Home

18 years old
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post #13 of 23 (permalink) Old 11-01-2006, 02:46 AM
 
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Re: Problems at Home

you can be a MASSIVE stoner and still hold down a full time job if you want

i smoke about half an ounce a week and i still work 39 hours a week

so it sounds like he doesn't want to try,

but it is very hard to quit i have tried more times than i care to count so i've just accepted it now
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post #14 of 23 (permalink) Old 11-01-2006, 05:03 AM
 
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Re: Problems at Home

Dude,

I don't generally offer advice of this sort, however this time I will.

It's a step in the right direction by venting. It is nice that you feel comfortable to do so on this site.

Whilst your brother has some genuine issues it might be worth your while seeking advice from a counseller in your area - I believe that there are several free such services in our great country. It will help you vent some of that frustration that you have and also provide a guide for the direction on who to speak with about your brothers issues.

Chances are that the drugs are not the real deep down issue, it is what is driving him to go too drugs that may be the real issue for him.

Hang in there mate and the best thing you can do is be there for your brother when he eventually does need you - unfortunately this may take some time.

Wolfram
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post #15 of 23 (permalink) Old 11-01-2006, 06:30 AM
 
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Re: Problems at Home

Quote:
Originally Posted by isida.d View Post
18 years old

11 months in the Army is a great way of setting him on the straight and narrow...
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