Problems at Home
Lately my brother has become worse, everytime i see him hes high. He gets jobs quits them cause he feels like it and then dumps mobile phone bills on my parents who are too nice or loving to refuse even tho they cant afford it.
He lives at home and takes advantage, doesnt do anything to contribute to the home, doesnt do anything around here, leaves his **** lying everywhere and doesnt clean it up. Theres not enough rooms in the house so i have to share a room with him, and put up with when he comes home late after partying and wakes me up via opening the door and throwing his **** on the floor and smelling like cigerette smoke.
And all the while my family's financial stretch becomes larger, my brother complains about jobs he has and and is a general sook for no reason about his jobs.
He has less education than me yet he gets alot of jobs he applies for because hes charismatic and younger i guess.
And all the while i'm here trying to get a job and have a good chance with this traineeship and amp trying to get over this CTS so i can work but i'm scared of him ****ing up again and ruining my future because right now since i get so little support money from the govt i have to rely on what little support my parents can give me. And get this... he gets paid more welfare than me and hes not even disabled (i am autistic), hes just a lazy stoned half the time ****. Who will get bored of smoking weed one day and will probably want something new to try when the high gets boring.
And thats when my paranoia kicks in. What if he becomes an addict and he starts stealing our **** to support his habit. What if he steals my belongings to pawn so he has drug money.
And this is where the scary part comes up and i know everyone on this board is gonna think me a freak, i keep this bottled inside i rarely talk about it, i never talk to him about it. And i have to admit. i'm starting to really hate him. Sometimes i even want to hurt him. I see him as potentially ruining the little shots i have in life cause hes a prick who is a waste. I used to envy him when we were younger, he seemed to have it so much easier socially and now hes such a waste.
I know how this seems like a cry for attention and in a way it is, but from the perspective of i dont know what to do and need any advice i can get.