Some Advice On A Friend... - Jemsite
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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 04:39 AM Thread Starter
 
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Some Advice On A Friend...

Ok heres the deal, I have a friend of mine who is like a brother honestly I'd do anything for the guy he's like family, but lately he's been a bit different do to something that has come up in my life

Recently, I met this girl....and we've not known each other long but we like each other, we speak everyday and she lives out in the city, and recently I went up to see her, now I had to take the bus which sucked and my friend came with. It was a hot day, we took like 4 buses (happens when you don't have a car) and me and her hung out, and yes held hands, kissed, etc. well my friend was off doing his own thing, scoping out ladies etc, thought he was cool with it.

He had been acting a bit weird since I havent been hanging with him as much and showing her some attention, just rolling his eyes when I mentioned her and mentioning a past girl who eh im not getting into but he compared this new girl to the previous one, which pissed the new girl off, and she now does not like my best friend

I opened firefox today and since it asked restore session I said "ok restore" clicked it, it was the previous history content of a msg from him to our other friend. In his msg he basicly said I "quit the band", "all my time is devoted to her and nothing more", "I'm trading my guitar for a camera", "I've become c0cky on guitar", and was mocking the time period of which I've known her, which is hypocritical for him to say. Amongst other things, and he's been making plans to start a new band with other friends, now I'm not jealous in this field, seeing as how I want to sell my Jem and whatnot to persue Photography as a career.

But the nerve of him to say all theese other things and put words in my mouth and even call me c0cky, and mock my guitar playing saying I've become an "yngwie of sorts" that's outrageous.

I don't know what his problem is with me liking this girl, I myself have had bad "luck" with girl's in the past, and this one is just great. I mean he should be happy for me right?, but no he's not.

He also wanted me to move back up with him to Ohio, his home state and I told him "not now, I have a job, I have to finish school and yes...I have Kelsi" and he seemed to take it ok, but look's like apparently he hasn't.

I just don't understand his logic, I've been there for him countless times, I've walked to a different town with him, took two hour's just for him to go get laid, I waited for him outside of a chicks house so her bro wouldn't come while he was inside having sex, and slept next to a damn dumpster waiting for him to finish. I've been there for him time and time again and Don't understand why he's going to such great lenght's to push me away at the moment.

Any advice?
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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 07:36 AM
 
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Re: Some Advice On A Friend...

My advice is talk to him about it without being accusatory - you're not looking to fight with him, you're looking to fix your relationship.

If that doesn't work, then you may have to realize that sometimes relationships end because people move in different directions. People change.
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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 07:40 AM
 
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Re: Some Advice On A Friend...

Address issue verbally, if no joy the print off the messages, mail them to him, start distancing yourself from the guy.

Oh, by the way, have you been acting like a douche since you hooked up with this girl? I'm serious, it happens. If not, then just back off for a while.
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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 09:06 AM Thread Starter
 
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Re: Some Advice On A Friend...

honestly man, I would know if I was acting like a douche the only thing I can honestly say I've done that is diff is go out of my way to see her.

and told him not to say certain thing's around her, other than that it's been the same.
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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 09:54 AM
 
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Re: Some Advice On A Friend...

That's funny. 'Douche' is the Dutch word for 'Shower'.

Alwin
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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 10:17 AM
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Re: Some Advice On A Friend...

He probably wants you for himself.
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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 10:22 AM
 
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Re: Some Advice On A Friend...

Quote:
Originally Posted by elcid View Post
He probably wants you for himself.
Elcid...you are the sh*t. F'in hilarious.
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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 10:31 AM
 
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Re: Some Advice On A Friend...

Bros before Hoes. Plus if your going to sell your Jem your not going to be a guitar player so let the guy find a new guy that isn't whipped.
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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 10:38 AM
 
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Re: Some Advice On A Friend...

Quote:
Originally Posted by elcid View Post
He probably wants you for himself.

Scarily enough, he could be right Sounds like a bit of Jealously!

Lol..he'll be fine Eddie. Sounds like you guys were like "best freinds" or something. He's probably just missin hangin with ya and feels like the odd man out.

Just remember, Ed.......(and this is not in all cases but tends to be the majority - so take is easy female Jemsite members )


Good friends are forever!! Most (I said most, not all) woman are fly by night
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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 01:49 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: Some Advice On A Friend...

yeah, I understand he's jealous and I get that we havent hung as much as we used to but he's being a bit idiotic.

I've been there for him through all his girl's and girl problems, including his physco stalker freak of an ex, and when he wanted to get back with her I was civil for his sake, my girl is NO WHERE NEAR THE MAGNITUDE OF PHYSCOTICNESS (sp) THAT HIS EX WAS. and he's not one ounce supportive of me.
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post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 01:56 PM
 
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Re: Some Advice On A Friend...

Unfortunately a lot of people are like that.
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post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 02:16 PM
 
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Re: Some Advice On A Friend...

Your trading your ax for a camera, and you spend all of your time daydreaming about some new girl? You are selling out, man! I did the same crap. I quit the band, ran off and got married when I was 19, it's been 13 years and some people are still pissed at me... A couple of my friends even ended up dead. If you are going to do this you have to ditch those guys and move on, or they will try to screw up your relationship and school for you as well...

Selling out you friends is nasty business, make sure you do it right.
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post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 02:26 PM
 
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Re: Some Advice On A Friend...

Lesson learnt, don't dump your mates for a bird.
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post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 02:36 PM
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Re: Some Advice On A Friend...

It looks like his friend is dumping him, not the other way around.
The guy is jealous because now you got a woman and you dont want to move to Ohio with him (which is another issue all together). You need to do what you need to do man. If you want to sell your guitar and devote your time to photography, God Bless. If you got a good woman and he cant deal with not being the most important thing in your life, it's not really your problem.
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post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 02:55 PM
 
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Re: Some Advice On A Friend...

The people who say don't sell out your friends for a girl are usually the first ones to do it! Even if you blow a relationship because he interferes i gaurantee next time he gets a bit of leg-over you're "dumped" yourself. If he truly cares for you he would respect you and her having time together. If you are still giving some time to him but thats not enough then he has no respect for you.
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