Some what of an unusual situation? - Jemsite
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-25-2005, 10:15 AM Thread Starter
 
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Some what of an unusual situation?

My Ex girlfriend, has recently just started experiementing with Class A Drugs, i mean I havent seen/spoken to her in 6 months. But I still care about her beyond any shadow of a doubht.

Now I spoke to a few people about this and I basically decided after my own history of drugs (splitting my family up, 2 life support trips to the hospital) that I was deffinatly in the right to interveen and say something.

So I just spoke to her parents, coz she was lying to me and saying she wasnt doing anything, i made sure they didnt go off on one at her but just explained to her that she could be making a big mistake.. well now the whole family including her mother thinks im clinically insane, need help and that i've done something completely out of order, and my ex thinks im a complete bastard (i expected this though, but I know i did the right thing, and most of her friends to wanna kill me).. but I can live with that if I prevent someone i care about from falling victim to the same mistakes I did.

well did I do the right thing? opinions?.. please look at this from an adult perspective.. dont start ranting at me with teenage coolness factor or drug culture respect.. coz to be honest it's all ****e.
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-25-2005, 10:42 AM
 
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Re: Some what of an unusual situation?

That's a tough one Ukwan, but I think your head is in the right place. Dems chemicals is ~NASTY~ Do nothing but destroy lives (as you know first hand) But do you really think telling her parents would help anything? What can they do about it? Tell her to stop? That would probably just embolden her to do MORE. From what I've seen, the person DOING the drug has to be the one to want to stop. Unfortunetly, it usually takes losing ones family, or over-dosing, going to jail or dying (hopefully not the latter) for one to stop. Did you do the right thing? Only time will tell, but I know you only meant well. (and that's a good thing


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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-25-2005, 11:49 AM
 
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Lightbulb Re: Some what of an unusual situation?

I agree that your heart was definitely in the right place, but telling her parents may not actually accomplish anything. I agree that the person must want to stop in order to truly stop or even admit that they have a problem with it and that usually takes something drastic happening. And if her friends either don't believe you or are doing it as well then that just makes the problem all the more difficult. I would suggest finding a way to talk with her directly and showing her the error of her ways through your own personal example or finding someone who she really respects to talk with her about it just so that it makes some kind of dent in her head. But in the end, SHE must make the decision to quit.
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-25-2005, 01:10 PM
 
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Re: Some what of an unusual situation?

Bro, Absolutely the right thing, Been there, Done that, Grass em up to people that care, If you stop one person, and that person does the same and so on, It proves we do live in a world that gives a crud.

It's not easy but you got my respect for standing up against something most wont until it's almost too late

Rob

(for the record, I could really go into depth etc. But kept it light and easily readable)
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-25-2005, 01:13 PM
 
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Re: Some what of an unusual situation?

You may have had good intentions, but that doesn't make what you did right. No offense intended, but there is a long, long way between "recently started experimenting with Class A drugs" (whatever that is) and fatal overdoses. People are all different and not everyone who ever smokes a joint will die homeless and insane. You know what I mean?

I think this experience is trying to teach you to mind your own business.

Good luck to you.
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-25-2005, 01:13 PM
 
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Re: Some what of an unusual situation?

You did the right thing bro!

Regards

André



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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-25-2005, 01:16 PM
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Re: Some what of an unusual situation?

i wouldn't worry about what others think... you feel you did the right thing and that is that If someone is in denial about drug use intervening is an obvious step if you care about the person... glen
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-25-2005, 01:22 PM
 
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Re: Some what of an unusual situation?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kent k
You may have had good intentions, but that doesn't make what you did right. No offense intended, but there is a long, long way between "recently started experimenting with Class A drugs" (whatever that is) and fatal overdoses. People are all different and not everyone who ever smokes a joint will die homeless and insane. You know what I mean?

I think this experience is trying to teach you to mind your own business.

Good luck to you.

Just for the record, marijuana is NOT a class A drug. Personally I dont think it should even be classified as a drug...And no, people wont die homeless for smoking a joint. But they WILL from Cocaine / Meth / Crack / Heronie (or however you spell it) Those are all class A drugs. Just for the record!
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-25-2005, 01:49 PM
 
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Re: Some what of an unusual situation?

Again, I think you are in the right, but speaking to her parents might have not been the best idea. I would try speaking to her, or her close friends who truly care about her. It seems like that's difficult, but keep trying. I really have no better adivice, other than assuring you that you're doing the right thing...
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-25-2005, 02:01 PM
 
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Re: Some what of an unusual situation?

Ahh, JJEMMER777 thanks for clearing that up. Those drugs are considerably more serious and would definately warrant concern. Not sure that going to the parents was a good idea, I mean if she ever trusted you before, that's all gone. But like I said, good luck to you Ukwan and your girl. Hopefully she'll learn whatever she needs to learn without getting hurt.
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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-25-2005, 02:16 PM
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Re: Some what of an unusual situation?

how old is this girl? Is she 25 or 16? Drugs kill, and drugs like the ones you've mentioned can be addictive enough to be addicting on a single try. I can see why you did it, because you care fo her still, and I can see why she's pissed, but I think this is one of those situations where you pay the price, but you don't count the cost (to paraphrase Neil Peart). What you've done you did for good reason. Now, however, it might be wise to insert your fingers in your ears and hum loudly the next time her name comes up. You did what you could, but she's in your past and it's time to let go.
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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-25-2005, 03:29 PM
 
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Re: Some what of an unusual situation?

The trouble is, in my experience, that most people won't stop using drugs until they get to the place that they want to stop. Does that mean you do nothing? No, but you might feel like you're banging your head against a wall in the meantime.

Where she is your ex, you're very limited as to how much influence you carry with anyone close to her. You're likely to come across, I'm sorry to say, as the jilted, ex-lover.

By the time a person gets to be the age where they're using drugs, their parents don't have much pull anymore. Unless the girl is a minor and they can force her into rehab (~if~ they believe you). You might need more evidence than your word. There are really no good answers here, but you are certainly right to be concerned, and I'm not saying give up. Just don't get arrested for harassing her!
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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-25-2005, 03:46 PM
 
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Re: Some what of an unusual situation?

I don't know what kind of ages we're talking about here...if she's an adult, maybe you barked up the wrong tree by going to her parents...

however, you did what felt was right in your heart and your conscience and that's all you can really do.

She's not your responsibilty. You made those whose responsibility she is(presumably) aware of a (potential) problem and that's really where it should end for you.

Her folks may have said nasty, insulting things to you...however, you planted a seed and i'm sure they're thinking 'what if he's right'. When/if they find out you are, hopefully they'll do whatever they can do to remedy the problem.

You never know - you may get a phone call from them sometime in the future with a thank you.

Again, you did all you could do given the circumstances. Your conscience should be clear.

~K
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