a thread for the bass player, - Jemsite
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post #1 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-13-2002, 02:45 PM Thread Starter
 
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a thread for the bass player,

borrowed jokes from my favorite little 15 year old bass player, she is such a sweetie!


Q: How many rock bassists does it take to change a
lightbulb?
A: No one ever bothered to notice!

Q: How many acoustic bassists does it take to screw in
a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to do the job and another to complain that
it's electric.

Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light
bulb?
A: One, but the guitar player has to show him how to do
it.


Q: What's the range of a fretless six string?
A: 20 yards if you have a good arm


Q: Whats the definition of perfect pitch?
A: Tossing a Hondo bass into a dumpster from 40 feet without hitting the sides

Did you hear about the bassist who was so out of tune the audience noticed?

Q: How do you know a bass player is at your door?
A: Who cares?

Q: How do you get a bass player off your doorstep?
A: Pay for the pizza.



Son: "Daddy, I want to grow up and be a bass player."
Father: "Son, you can't have it both ways."

Q: Why are there four strings on a bass?
A: Three are spares.


Q: What do you call a bassist with half a brain?
A: Gifted.


As a birthday gift a father decided to get his son a bass
guitar and some lessons. After the first lesson the boy's
father asked him how his lesson went: "It went great
Dad, I learned to play on the first 5 frets on the top
string!" The father applauded his son's efforts. The next
week his father asked about the second lesson: "It was
great Dad, today i learned to play the first 5 frets on
the second string!" His father once again applauded his
son. The next week his father again asked about his
lesson. "I'm sorry Dad, I blew it off... I had a gig!"



and of course, we can't forget my personal favorite one!!!!!! (came up with this one a couple years ago hehehehe)

How do you keep a bass player busy????
click here for the answer
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post #2 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-13-2002, 02:54 PM
 
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And you missed my favorite and truest that I have seen:
What do you call a bass player with no girlfriend?

HOMELESS ! ! !



Bamm
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post #3 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-13-2002, 06:05 PM
 
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Adapted from a drummer joke:

"What happened when the musician's locked their keys in the car?"
"They couldn't get the bassist out for 2 hours."
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post #4 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-14-2002, 02:17 AM
 
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One of my favorites about musicians in general:

What does a stripper do with her a$$hole before going to the strip joint for the evening?

She drops him off at band practice.
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post #5 of 22 (permalink) Old 01-31-2005, 04:36 PM
 
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Re: a thread for the bass player,

Good thing I have a sense of humor. Actually, I consider my self a failed guitarist turned bass player, so like Billy Sheehan, Im known to play the bass like a guitar at times.
I seem to be a local favorite

Tom
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post #6 of 22 (permalink) Old 02-01-2005, 11:42 AM
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Re: a thread for the bass player,

pay for the pizza LOL
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post #7 of 22 (permalink) Old 02-01-2005, 12:30 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: a thread for the bass player,

Man, this thread got dug up bigtime LOL
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post #8 of 22 (permalink) Old 02-01-2005, 12:40 PM
 
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Re: a thread for the bass player,

That's okay, now I have even MORE jokes for my bassist!
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post #9 of 22 (permalink) Old 02-01-2005, 03:37 PM
 
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Re: a thread for the bass player,

it's cool, I hadn't seen this, and my drummer appreciated it a lot cause it wasn't him that was copping the jokes for once!!!!
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post #10 of 22 (permalink) Old 02-02-2005, 12:15 AM
 
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Re: a thread for the bass player,

All you guitarists wouldn't have such lame basslines if you played more than power chords! :P
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post #11 of 22 (permalink) Old 02-02-2005, 03:51 PM
 
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Re: a thread for the bass player,

Quote:
Originally Posted by jay ratkowski
All you guitarists wouldn't have such lame basslines if you played more than power chords! :P
Ouch!
Maybe we're being held back by the bass player so all we can do is play power chords so they can keep up!!
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post #12 of 22 (permalink) Old 02-04-2005, 01:37 PM
 
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Re: a thread for the bass player,

Sure, blame someone else because you never got past page 6 in the Mel Bay guide to Rock Guitar!

PS - are you suggesting that a guitarist and/or singer should let the bassist contribute in writing songs? That will happen about as soon as Glen telling Kevan and Rich that they are both right about something.
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post #13 of 22 (permalink) Old 02-04-2005, 01:38 PM
 
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Re: a thread for the bass player,

PS - I think page 6 is titled "Cool rock poses".
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post #14 of 22 (permalink) Old 02-04-2005, 10:02 PM
 
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Re: a thread for the bass player,

Rock poses, thats great!!!!!
I say.......let the bass player show the guitar players, that if they're not careful, a good bass player can turn a 5 piece into a 4 piece band, or in some cases a 4 piece into a 3 piece (Rush, Kings X).
Zakk Wylde once said (ironically while explaining why a bass player WASNT hired for the new album) "It's simple beer econmics, the less guys we have to share beer with, the more there is for each individual person".
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post #15 of 22 (permalink) Old 02-05-2005, 03:32 AM
 
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Re: a thread for the bass player,

What do you throw a drowning bass player?






His AMP !



Bamm
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