Shredmaster..... I'm just gonna call it as I see it here. Just last November you thought you were going to be getting a divorce. http://www.jemsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=54479
Then six months ago you knew you were going to have job issues. http://www.jemsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=64027
But during this time you bought a house.... http://www.jemsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=64622
And decided "parenthood" with a woman who already brought a child into the relationship that was strained at best, was in your best interest.
Now you're whining about all the pressure and how tired you are!
Hey, it's nice to vent and share your "issues" with people, but why not discuss these feelings with your spouse or your family? (try your dad & bro) If you're going to say "because I don't want to stress or upset her"..... man, you are living in a pipe dream. If you two have any real communication she's already sensed something is up! As far as family.... if you're looking for sympathy you may not get it. Just some honest advice!
Bringing these issues up here probably won't get you any real solutions either. Those will be found by taking some "real" stock of your situations and actually doing something about them. And that shouldn't include taking on more responsibility that you clearly don't want or aren't ready to handle.
You've made some choices with what appears to be a "wait and see" approach. Kinda the "lazy mans" approach when you talk about some of the responsibilities you've chose to commit to in the last year.
I'm not sure you've learned to stop depending on everyone else for solutions to life's everyday issues yet.... Look, you seem pretty dependant on everyone else helping you find a good job. Then when things fall through it's always "someone else" or "something else" contributing to your delima.
After re-reading some of your posts I'm starting to wonder if you have some bipolar issues as one minute you're on top of the world and the next is total chaos.
Look.... take this all how you want. It's not intended to piss you off or put you down. If anything it's intended to get you to focus on what the real issues are, stop whining, sit down with real family and talk. And most importantly take some real action on getting a "life game plan" going. Dude, you're in your mid 30's.... it's time to start making decisions after you've given the situations you have created some serious thought.
As for anyone else who'd like to say I'm being too harsh..... whatever! Sometimes things need to be put in prospective and a little tough love and honesty handed out!
Shred..... best of luck with your problems, but there all part of life. Oh and check into the books by Dr. Wayne Dyer like "supermau" said. He has several you may benefit from. Try this one by him too.... "Pulling Your Own Strings"