my mom had a few strokes...i take care of her (while holding down a job myself)...only advice i can give is this...take it one day at a time...there's no other way i know of to get through it...it's tiring and frustrating...but it's gotta be done...d.m.
Thanks and that's very true.
I talked to my friend who had a mom who died of Alzheimers. He basically said that to lower frustration, you pick your issues carefully. If she sees pink elephants or thinks that she has more kids that is the case, there's no need to take the energy to try and argue over that. He told me to stick to the key (safety related) things, even though mom will only remember it for a day, of things like remembering to turn off stove or water or not walking into traffic.
Sometimes, hopefully, he said they will remember but it makes irrelavant things like not knowing what city you live in, or how many kids you have as anything worth talking about other than agreeing. To fix the home issue, he put a tag on her neck that had phone number and address in the event that she did get out undetected.
At the rest home when somebody says they need to go out and stoke the campfires later on, you say "OK" and go with it. If you tell them "no" or that there are no campfires, they can go berserk and wet their diapers and that's not worth the trouble. In a few minutes they will likely forget that they wanted to make campfires anyway. And the person you can be dealing with can have a radically different personality from the person you knew when they were well.
In my case, as is what I usually hear, the person who is ill can be much more argumentative and have a lot of out of context emotional outbursts. It's certainly not easy.