Funny guitar article - Jemsite
All Other Guitars (including Prestige) Discussion about other Ibanez Guitars not covered in the above topics. Includes J-Custom, USA-Custom, Prestige subforum.

LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 41 (permalink) Old 10-03-2006, 05:48 PM Thread Starter
Dino's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,774
Funny guitar article

Funny guitar article. How true this is....

I just returned from the Chicago Guitar Show. These shows are really going down in popularity, it was small and everyone there was old. I must have been one of the youngest there. Looked like a weekend event organized by the local old age homes. Sixty year old guys with pony tails. I am telling you people, I have been saying this for years, the guitar is dying and fading fast. It will never be as dead as the accordion, the previously most popular instrument in the world but it will be nothing as we knew it in the past.

I saw and played lots of vintage guitars. It sure is hard to find one of these that are healthy and playable. This has to be the biggest scam in history. It is claimed that people are paying $10K and up for a warn-out warped piece of nothing. $30K for a used-up Strat with a tiny neck. $45K for an unplayable Les Paul. $4.5K for a 50s ES 175 with a sunken top and a hump in the neck, that is damaged beyond repair and makes the guitar totally unplayable.

I have a theory, these former used car salesmen who deal in vintage guitars, sell these things mostly among themselves. They artificially raise the prices and make themselves believe their own BS. Prices are going up because each time a dealer buys a vintage guitar from another dealer he pays more and then sells it for a little more to another dealer 6 months later. Amazingly, in this way the prices are climbing. I certainly did not see any lines forming to purchase or even look at any of these sad looking things.

Another sad encounter was seeing grown men, who have been playing guitar for some 30 years, spend an hour drooling over PRS tops. Then they went over and looked at identical Suhr tops. Those Suhr things feel just like $300 imports, it was a real shocker. An award for marketing genius should be given however. Who buys this stuff?

Notice how every company has their own PRS? For the last 15 years it has been a prerequisite in the guitar world. Everyone must have their own PRS or you cannot call yourself a guitar company. You know the overly exaggerated flamed, quilted, intestine-looking, vomit-inducing, unnatural atrocities with the inch thick plastic condom over it and made by high-tech robotics. Apparently those guys said their PRS guitars sound magnificent because they own several of them and love them. So you may want to check them out. When I still see this happening, I loose all hope. Sad situation.

I came to the realization that these guys have admittedly owned and sold a hundred guitars so far. Many of them live permanently on ****, yet they really have no clue about guitars. Its like they are 14 years old. This is because they have owned the same guitars over and over again. They have never been exposed to anything else and the current guitar marketing works wonders on them. Its meant for them and speaks to them, in their language.

Some of the world famous guitar boutiques were present displaying their stuff. Have you experienced the "Radio Shack manager" attitude these characters have. These people have a way of acting and a certain extreme arrogance about them that is totally irritating because it is so obvious they know nothing about guitars. The question I ask is how can they be so dumb? Why do they know so little? I came to the same conclusion. Their world is extremely limited. They sell the same guitars over and over and over again. They know nothing else. They also deal with the same types of customers. They sell the same guitars to the same types of people. What irritated me all these years about these guitar boutiques is the ignorance when walking in. Just realizing that you have entered a really stupid place, with stupid products and with very stupid people, who have no clue about anything and who try to make you think how smart they are. You enter a place where music does not exist, only this thick pollution of materialism and ignorance. Its as shallow as a figured veneer top. The store is filled with stuff yet its totally empty at the same time. Empty of substance. You may feel leaving these places like you have just spent 8 hours watching the Osbornes and actually lost a few thousand brain cells in the process. You are now stupider then when you walked in. Its not a good feeling. You may not have realized this because the more you know about guitars the more offensive these places are.

The bottom line is that the show was dead and in the next 20 years it will all be over my friends. When the 60 year olds who witnessed the arrival of the Beatles, are gone, the guitar will be just one of the many instruments, which was basically a cultural fad due to the overwhelming number of kids of the baby boom generation. For those of us still kicking around in a few years, we should be able to buy vintage guitars real cheap, if that's what you want to do.

So what do you think?
Dino is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 41 (permalink) Old 10-03-2006, 07:39 PM
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 279
Re: Funny guitar article

its sad, scary, horrifying, depressing and true all at the same time...
Unknown Doodl3.2 is offline  
post #3 of 41 (permalink) Old 10-03-2006, 08:02 PM
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,076
Re: Funny guitar article

Nah. Guitar is not dead. In fact, there was just a piece about how guitar is becoming popular, again. Wish I had the article handy. You're just not gonna find the young guns, there, so it's GONNA look like a geriatric ward.
Racerx2k is offline  
post #4 of 41 (permalink) Old 10-03-2006, 08:36 PM
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 2,049
Re: Funny guitar article

[QUOTE=Dino;541498]......Those Suhr things feel just like $300 imports, it was a real shocker. An award for marketing genius should be given however. Who buys this stuff?


......That's funny, the very very plain looking blonde Alder Suhr Standard that the local distributor brought 'round to my place (he's a friend BTW) felt exactly like the very high end $4500AUD guitar that it happened to be .... in fact considerably better feeling, sounding and built than a rather more expensive Fender Custom Shop Strat that happened to be sitting in the corner of the living room at the time.

PRS have done so well because when they appeared in the mid eighties you simply could not buy a good Gibson Les Paul - they were awful - likewise Suhr, Anderson, Tyler, Pensa, Grosh et al appeared because Fender Strats in the seventies and eighties were, for the most part a truly terrible instrument - it's no real coincidence that most of these companies are LA or New York based - session players at the time just couldn't use the Fenders and Gibsons of the era - so small manufacturers, or individual luthiers started offering something a bit better - Fender have picked up their act considerably, hence most of the boutique Strats have stayed that way, PRS have gone from strength to strength because good ol' Henry Juskeweitz (sic) CEO of Gibson has realised that he can sell gazillions of pretty, but poorly made, poorly finished and completely un - setup Les Pauls to bankers, lawyer and foot surgeons who wish they'd become musicians back in their youth - any doubts about this can be thwarted (at least in Sydney) by visiting our new Gibson store, where you can gaze upon large rows of Gibson instruments with orange peel finishes, that don't work (the one guitar in the shop that we wanted to try - a natural finish Explorer - dead on arrival - no one in the shop had even thought to plug it in before we arrived), and have frets you could file your nails on - no polishing, no crowning - in fact to me it doesn't even look as if the frets are levelled before leaving the factory in a lot of cases - but hey, why bother, most of the dudes willing to drop $4K on a Les Paul can't play the stupid thing - they just want to see how cool they look in the mirror with it on.

So, PRSs are basically a Les Paul, but with a tummy contour, proper cutaways to get to the top frets, a slightly thinner body to reduce the weight, a straight string pull over a graphite nut so that the guitar actually stays in tune, and in most (not all) cases, a Maple cap over a Mahogany body so that you get the same basic tonal qualities of a Les Paul - Maple can be plain, or pretty - when PRS started, pretty Maple actually wasn't that much more than plain, so, given that the labour involved in what was then a hand made instrument costs more than the materials, it made sense to use flamed or quilted Maple for the extra few bucks (let's face it, almost everyone loves a pretty guitar!) - I played various Gibsons for years, up to a 57 Goldtop reissue - non of them stayed in tune, but as I was then working in a "vintage" guitar shop, I was morally banned from playing PRSs - since then I have ditched the Gibsons and bought two PRS Custom 22s - they are superb guitars, they feel as good as any handmade, boutique guitar I have ever picked up AND they stay in tune. They look good to, but frankly I don't care - they simply do the job I ask them to do faultlessly....

..... now where was I? Oh yeah, Guitar Shows - hate 'em - waste of effort to look at more junk you'll never need!


David McCarroll
Sydney Australia
David McCarroll is offline  
post #5 of 41 (permalink) Old 10-04-2006, 04:09 AM
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: London, Essex, UK
Posts: 3,619
Re: Funny guitar article

Very very true.
I found the bits about the "vintage gear" very ammusing. Because I always wonder how a 56' Strat would still be perfectly playable in every way. Especially seeing the condition that some of them are in. The Gibson stuff is very true also, "frets you could file your nails on". All of the new Gibsons I have played have felt like garbage. A waste of £1000+ or what.
the.godfather is offline  
post #6 of 41 (permalink) Old 10-04-2006, 10:17 AM
MilkshakeFiend's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: U.K.
Posts: 765
Re: Funny guitar article

Originally Posted by the.godfather View Post
All of the new Gibsons I have played have felt like garbage. A waste of £1000+ or what.
I remember how dissapointed I was when I tried out a *PROPER* Gibson for the first time. It felt no better than one of my friends Epi's, and nowhere near as 'finished' as my teachers BSB.

I don't think the guitar will 'die' anytime soon. Unless there is something much more 'playable' and 'cooler' invented soon. But hell, what do I know, I'm listening to Winger while I type this.

MilkshakeFiend is offline  
post #7 of 41 (permalink) Old 10-05-2006, 01:28 PM
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Indy
Posts: 399
Re: Funny guitar article

ha, check this out

Indiana Guitar Show (This event has been cancelled)

Oct 7, 2006 - Oct 8, 2006 8:00 AM
- 5:00 PM EDT
Indiana Time Zones
Pioneer Our Land Pavilion This event is handicapped accessible
Hours and admission information is not available at this time. Please check back at a later date for more details. For more information contact David Baas (812) 332-2145.
Josh_P is offline  
post #8 of 41 (permalink) Old 10-05-2006, 01:58 PM
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Odense S, Denmark
Posts: 9,952
Re: Funny guitar article

Sad sad...



fettouhi is offline  
post #9 of 41 (permalink) Old 10-06-2006, 08:40 PM
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 117
Re: Funny guitar article

A couple of questions spring to mind.
1. What publication did this article appear in?
2. Why did this literary genius go to the guitar show in the 1st place?
StoneLord is offline  
post #10 of 41 (permalink) Old 10-07-2006, 01:34 AM Thread Starter
Dino's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,774
Re: Funny guitar article

I found this on the NAMM reports page at
Dino is offline  
post #11 of 41 (permalink) Old 10-07-2006, 04:52 PM
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 117
Re: Funny guitar article

Thanks Dino,
That puts it in context... Funny website.
StoneLord is offline  
post #12 of 41 (permalink) Old 10-07-2006, 05:22 PM
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 379
Re: Funny guitar article

Originally Posted by Racerx2k View Post
Nah. Guitar is not dead. In fact, there was just a piece about how guitar is becoming popular, again.
playing the guitar has ever been uncool/unpopular???

wow, howd i miss that?

toma is offline  
post #13 of 41 (permalink) Old 10-07-2006, 07:08 PM
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Arlington, TX
Posts: 3,069
Re: Funny guitar article

It's the same as vintage cars. Of course they are not good cars, they are for collectors. To me, spending 100k on an old mustang is stupid, but hey, it is not my money, and that car wasn't meant to appeal to everyone either. If someone is willing to spend that much, let them.
C.Thep is offline  
post #14 of 41 (permalink) Old 10-09-2006, 08:36 AM
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Argentina
Posts: 2,221
Re: Funny guitar article

Thanks for posting LOL...
marianozz is offline  
post #15 of 41 (permalink) Old 10-09-2006, 04:57 PM
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 962
Re: Funny guitar article

I agree with none of your points.
Gex is offline  

custom shop , david mccarroll , electric guitar , fender custom shop , fender strat , fender strats , gibson les paul , graphite nut , guitar players , guitar playing , guitar shop , les paul , les pauls , local music shop , mahogany body , playing guitar , prs guitar , prs guitars , quilted maple , suhr standard , zachary guitars

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Jemsite forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address

IMPORTANT: You will be required to activate your account so please ensure that your email address is correct.

If you do not receive your activation check your spam folder before using the CONTACT US form (at the bottom right of each page).

Email Address:


Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Why is Steve Vai's Prototype DNA in a guitar store window? - moochie777 Ibanez JEM, UV, JS & Other Signature Models 21 06-04-2010 01:39 AM
My New Chrome Guitar (Yamaha Pacifica) cakewalkr7 All Other Guitars (including Prestige) 25 05-01-2009 06:16 PM
Photos of EVO. Ibanez-Mag Ibanez JEM, UV, JS & Other Signature Models 49 10-31-2005 06:33 PM
Known history of Guitar.. (lots of people have it wrong) - a vwall Archived Topics and Common Questions 20 12-30-2001 12:44 PM
How to transport a guitar to Jemfest for flyers. - Safety fi Gabe Nickelson Players & Bands, Music & Sounds, Tours & Jams, Lessons & Theory! 7 05-09-2001 02:37 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome