Not to give Drew what he wants (I really hate that guy
) but this is my attempt at making a more melodic progression of notes.
But no really, I've actually taken what you guys have said over the past couple of competition entries and tried to use it as best I could.
Hope you like it
Except you drew. (I'm just kidding btw lol)
I hope bad things happen to you, and only you.
*stuff at the very beginning is pretty cool, the slidey trill stuff is probably tricky as hell, but as a sustained run tends to blend in with itself. Try maybe working just a short half-second blast of that into a more melodic phrase?
*0:19-0:37 or so is ****ing awesome. You don't sound 100% confident in a few places, but in a few you're absolutely owning this.
*when you hit that same chorus section later on, say 0:57, that next chorus is my favorite bit of this whole thing, and maybe my favorite playing I've heard from you yet. Melodic phrasing, occasional blast of speed, and you don't sound self-conscious at all but rather totally in the moment.
*that "hand on either side of my fretting hand" stuff at 2:00 - no. Please. Just don't. It's stupid when Vai does it too.
*In general I think your phrasing is better on the "chorus" sections than when you go into the verse sections where you tend to just shred a lot. I think there's the potential to do a lot more with that - really, your final lick is actually pretty cool, where you start off with that bluesy bend, and then do some blues-based stuff before going back into full shred mode. Slowing down a bit, getting some more of those big, screaming bends going, and then periodically droppign blasts of that shred into it I think would be more effective - shred is awesome and speed is awesome, but speed sounds speedier when you don't do it constantly and instead hold back and then suddenly let rip out of nowhere.
Now, go trip on a banana peel and spend the next two months with your arm in a sling.