Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Melbourne, Australia
What happens when idiots pick a 100 Best Guitarists list
Take it away, Rolling Stone. (My comments in italics)
1 Jimi Hendrix "Fair enough"
2 Duane Allman of the Allman Brothers Band
3 B.B. King
4 Eric Clapton
5 Robert Johnson
6 Chuck Berry
7 Stevie Ray Vaughan
8 Ry Cooder "Good choice, deserves more recognition."
9 Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin
10 Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones
11 Kirk Hammett of Metallica "You mean the guy who literally only played the solos, didn't otherwise participate in Metallica's albums until 1996?"
12 Kurt Cobain of Nirvana "C'mon. Great songwriter, yes. But has no business being mentioned in the same list as Eddie Van Halen. Speaking of whom... Eddie?"
13 Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead
14 Jeff Beck
15 Carlos Santana
16 Johnny Ramone of the Ramones "Uh, we're still talking about great guitarists, right?"
17 Jack White of the White Stripes "I love White Stripes. Love 'em. But no. No."
18 John Frusciante of the Red Hot Chili Peppers
19 Richard Thompson
20 James Burton
21 George Harrison
22 Mike Bloomfield
23 Warren Haynes "Hear hear."
24 The Edge of U2
25 Freddy King
26 Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine and Audioslave
27 Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits "Great guitarist. One of my favourites. Like him almost as much as Eddie Van Halen. Speaking of whom ..?"
28 Stephen Stills
29 Ron Asheton of the Stooges
30 Buddy Guy
31 Dick Dale
32 John Cipollina of Quicksilver Messenger Service "Whosilver Whatinger Service?"
33 & 34 Lee Ranaldo, Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth
35 John Fahey
36 Steve Cropper of Booker T. and the MG's
37 Bo Diddley
38 Peter Green of Fleetwood Mac
39 Brian May of Queen
40 John Fogerty of Creedence Clearwater Revival
41 Clarence White of the Byrds
42 Robert Fripp of King Crimson
43 Eddie Hazel of Funkadelic
44 Scotty Moore "As great as he is, I bet whoever compiled this list put him there because he played for Elvis, not because of what he played."
45 Frank Zappa
46 Les Paul
47 T-Bone Walker
48 Joe Perry of Aerosmith
49 John McLaughlin
50 Pete Townshend
51 Paul Kossoff of Free
52 Lou Reed "Lou Reed plays guitar? I thought he just strapped one on so his hands would have somewhere to go."
53 Mickey Baker "And you are..?"
54 Jorma Kaukonen of Jefferson Airplane
55 Ritchie Blackmore of Deep Purple
56 Tom Verlaine of Television
57 Roy Buchanan
58 Dickey Betts
59 & 60 Jonny Greenwood, Ed O'Brien of Radiohead
61 Ike Turner
62 Zoot Horn Rollo of the Magic Band
63 Danny Gatton "The Eddie Van Halen of the Telecaster. Hugely underrated. Speaking of underrated..."
64 Mick Ronson
65 Hubert Sumlin
66 Vernon Reid of Living Colour
67 Link Wray
68 Jerry Miller of Moby Grape
69 Steve Howe of Yes
70 Eddie Van Halen "Oh there you are. I guess being the most influential and revered guitarist after Hendrix doesn't equal "great." Prompting industry revolutions like hot rod amps, custom guitars and the Floyd Rose, and techniques like two-handed tapping mustn't count much as contributions either."
71 Lightnin' Hopkins
72 Joni Mitchell
73 Trey Anastasio of Phish
74 Johnny Winter
75 Adam Jones of Tool
76 Ali Farka Toure "Who? Oh yeah. Some obscure guitarist nobody's heard about who Rolling Stone cite so they sound cultured and learned. Guess they couldn't remember how to spell Nusrat Fateh Wrath of Kahn or whatever his name is."
77 Henry Vestine of Canned Heat
78 Robbie Robertson of the Band
79 Cliff Gallup of the Blue Caps
80 Robert Quine of the Voidoids
81 Derek Trucks
82 David Gilmour of Pink Floyd "Must have been hiding on the dark side of the moon when they were looking for players to put in the top ten."
83 Neil Young
84 Eddie Cochran
85 Randy Rhoads
86 Tony Iommi of Black Sabbath "I guess it was at this point in compiling the list that the journos got their complementary Ozzfest tickets. "Ozzy had some guitarists, didn't he? Let's put them on the list. ...Zakk WHO?"
87 Joan Jett "Oh yeah, I guess they forgot to put enough chicks on the list. I guess Jennifer Batten's not cool enough and Meredith Brooks is too pretty to really be that good."
88 Dave Davies of the Kinks
89 D. Boon of the Minutemen
90 Glen Buxton of Alice Cooper
91 Robby Krieger of the Doors
92 & 93 Fred "Sonic" Smith, Wayne Kramer of the MC5
94 Bert Jansch
95 Kevin Shields of My Bloody Valentine
96 Angus Young of AC/DC "Why are you hiding all the way down there? Don't be shy, o great one."
97 Robert Randolph
98 Leigh Stephens of Blue Cheer
99 Greg Ginn of Black Flag
100 Kim Thayil of Soundgarden
Hey, I seem to remember Whitesnake had a pretty good guitarist, some guy who also played on Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey. He should have been on there too. And that Joe Santana guy who taught Kirk Hammett.