[Davey]

Pretty self explanatory, what are your favourite jokes?

Mine would have to be...

Q. What did the leper say to the prostitute?

A. Keep the tip

:mrgreen:

 

[plyta]

Junkies having a conversation: Yesterday I was hunting. Somehow we didin't hunt down anything. I don't understand: Did the ducks fly too high, or did we throw the dog too low?

 

[fono22]

You know you're old when...

....your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"

 

[jim777]

Punchline: the Aristocrats! (the joke itself is waaaay to dirty for telling)

 

[Davey]

Punchline: the Aristocrats! (the joke itself is waaaay to dirty for telling)

Isn't that the one where loads of people read it and it has something to do with South Park? I can't recall it off the top of my head.

 

[Chris777]

How do you make a whore moan??? .... You don't pay her :lol:

 

[damo7v]

How do you make a whore moan??? .... You don't pay her :lol:

next time you tell that one, spell it "hormone".

 

[Chris777]

^^ Yeah, maybe. But I think the joke works both ways. There is also an alternate ending but it might be a lttle to dirty.

 

[jim777]

Isn't that the one where loads of people read it and it has something to do with South Park? I can't recall it off the top of my head.

It's a joke about a family act that goes to a talent agency looking for work.

 

[fettouhi]

Punchline: the Aristocrats! (the joke itself is waaaay to dirty for telling)

Yeah heard that about the whole movie. When they showed it back home people in the theater ended up pucking.

Regards

André

 

[jim777]

Yeah heard that about the whole movie. When they showed it back home people in the theater ended up pucking.

Regards

André

I have no idea what you're talking about. The whole movie?

 

[fettouhi]

I have no idea what you're talking about. The whole movie?

Sorry I thought you meant the movie "The Aristocrats".

Regards

André

 

[Davey]

lmao!

 

[mi2tom]

here's mine
Lulu was a prostitute.
One day there was a raid.
All the prostitutes were lined up outside the police station as they took
them in one by one.
As Lulu stood in line, she saw her Grandma coming down the street and was so ashamed, Grandma didn't know her occupation.
Grandma stopped to say hi, and asked what the line was for.
Lulu, saving face, said that the police were giving away fresh oranges to those waiting.
Grandma said wonderful, she loved oranges and got at the end of the line.
When the policeman got to the end and saw her, he was amazed.
He said "How the heck do you do this at your age?"
She said "I just take out my teeth, rip the skin back and s*ck'em dry!"

The policeman fainted

 

[King Knall]

Rotflmao!

 

[mike2558]

I wish my lawn was emo. Then it would cut itself.

 

[fettouhi]

here's mine
Lulu was a prostitute.
One day there was a raid.
All the prostitutes were lined up outside the police station as they took
them in one by one.
As Lulu stood in line, she saw her Grandma coming down the street and was so ashamed, Grandma didn't know her occupation.
Grandma stopped to say hi, and asked what the line was for.
Lulu, saving face, said that the police were giving away fresh oranges to those waiting.
Grandma said wonderful, she loved oranges and got at the end of the line.
When the policeman got to the end and saw her, he was amazed.
He said "How the heck do you do this at your age?"
She said "I just take out my teeth, rip the skin back and s*ck'em dry!"

The policeman fainted

:lol:

Regards

André

 

[Davey]

Couple of good ones there mi2tom and mikoholica!

 

[Liggy]

here's mine
Lulu was a prostitute.
One day there was a raid.
All the prostitutes were lined up outside the police station as they took
them in one by one.
As Lulu stood in line, she saw her Grandma coming down the street and was so ashamed, Grandma didn't know her occupation.
Grandma stopped to say hi, and asked what the line was for.
Lulu, saving face, said that the police were giving away fresh oranges to those waiting.
Grandma said wonderful, she loved oranges and got at the end of the line.
When the policeman got to the end and saw her, he was amazed.
He said "How the heck do you do this at your age?"
She said "I just take out my teeth, rip the skin back and s*ck'em dry!"

The policeman fainted

PMSL

Two smackheads turn up with tools in hand, at a contruction site one day for a job.
One is beckoned into the office for his interview and once inside he his approached by the gaffer who says "to determine whether you get the job, all i want to know is the name of the four disciples"
Smackhead1 " thats easy.........MAtthew, Mark, Luke and John" he replied.
Gaffer " you have the job, well done.....now send your mate in"

He leaves the office and says to his mate "that was easy, all he wants to know is the name of the four disciples"
"four disciples?" his mate replied slightly confused.
"the four disciples.........Matthew, Mark,lu..." he cuts himself short "come here ill write it on your spade, then when your are in there and he asks you the question, turn your spade around, read the answer and tell him"
The smackhead2 agreed and went into office.

The gaffer approached him the same way as his mate has said:
"all i want from you to determine whether you have the job, is the name of the four disciples"
Smackhead2 swiftly turned his spade around so he could see his mates writing and replied:
"Matthew, Mark, SPEAR and JACKSON"

 

[Ozzdoc]

How do you stopa bunch of black people from fighting?

Through a basketball inbetween them