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Well, to me that doesn't sound like your first take haha. It sounds really good to me, you kept it really clean for the most part and it just wasn't going blankly up and down the scales. The thing that i think helps me most with improv, is when practicing, sing every note you play and let them stick in your head. Later on every song idea you have will flow out of your head really easy and your improv will end up truly being from your head. Also don't get all your inspiration from one person, you want to incorporate all the styles into your own playing to help yourself sound more unique. And last of all, go with the flo!!
 
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