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8,373 Posts
Jems for ALL
A ditty -
Jems for me, Jems for you.
You luv your Jems, I luv mine too.
Jems, Jems the playin machine.
You like yours dinged, I like mine clean.
I polish Jems here, I polish Jems there.
While I constantly check, for the slightest fret-wear.
You play your Jems, I play mine too.
Even whilst I sit in the Loo.
I wait for my custom, to come in from Rich
I'm sure it will pull off, without a hitch.
My Jem handled rudely, by my friend Mitch.
So sorry it happend, oh man did I bitch!
Jems are pretty with photos of kitty
And thus this ends my little ditty
Boy was that dumb:lol:
It actually popped into my mind as I was trying to go to sleep last night, lol.
A ditty -Jems for me, Jems for you.
You luv your Jems, I luv mine too.
Jems, Jems the playin machine.
You like yours dinged, I like mine clean.
I polish Jems here, I polish Jems there.
While I constantly check, for the slightest fret-wear.
You play your Jems, I play mine too.
Even whilst I sit in the Loo.
I wait for my custom, to come in from Rich
I'm sure it will pull off, without a hitch.
My Jem handled rudely, by my friend Mitch.
So sorry it happend, oh man did I bitch!
Jems are pretty with photos of kitty
And thus this ends my little ditty
Boy was that dumb:lol:
It actually popped into my mind as I was trying to go to sleep last night, lol.
Joined
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1,001 Posts
100 Word Essay - That means 100 different words, right:
What if the stuff over my dog for them to have articulated now being singed without forte were in destructive gowns because wings top useless clowns need boring speak due forget happy tree inside pungent automobile no giver joined beautiful chronic sways throughout disturbing features as going boat shim factually determined your bountiful prerequisite into stench scarred muse henceforth governing kickstand from fulfilling business cartoons mailing frothy winds getting split watchful tubes billing dirty flashes of linen soaked frog murder amplifiers grammatically reading specifications unto one when older crabgrass meets belligerent plates contrary where freedom equals unequivocally rock mirror Jem?
What if the stuff over my dog for them to have articulated now being singed without forte were in destructive gowns because wings top useless clowns need boring speak due forget happy tree inside pungent automobile no giver joined beautiful chronic sways throughout disturbing features as going boat shim factually determined your bountiful prerequisite into stench scarred muse henceforth governing kickstand from fulfilling business cartoons mailing frothy winds getting split watchful tubes billing dirty flashes of linen soaked frog murder amplifiers grammatically reading specifications unto one when older crabgrass meets belligerent plates contrary where freedom equals unequivocally rock mirror Jem?
If I win, I will get a 7VWH. I've had it with basswood guitars.
The first thing I will do is to remove the pickups and replace them with kittens. I will remove the offensive gold plating from the hardware. I will get a plain white 3-ply pickguard.
If I lose it's not ok because if I lose I'll set the building on fire...
The first thing I will do is to remove the pickups and replace them with kittens. I will remove the offensive gold plating from the hardware. I will get a plain white 3-ply pickguard.
If I lose it's not ok because if I lose I'll set the building on fire...
Joined
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13 Posts
Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Women
1. You can enjoy a beer all night long.
2. Beer stains wash out.
3. You don't have to wine and dine beer.
4. A beer will wait in the car while you go and play football.
5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.
6. Beer is never late.
7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
8. Hangovers go away.
9. Beer labels come off without a fight.
10. When you go to a bar, you can always pick up a beer.
11. Beer never has a headache.
12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.
13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer.
14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.
15. A beer goes down easy.
16. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.
17. You can share a beer with your friends.
18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.
19. Beer is always wet.
20. Beer doesn't demand equality.
21. You can have a beer in public.
22. A beer doesn't care when you come.
23. A frigid beer is a good beer.
24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
25. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
26. You can't catch social diseases from a beer.
27. When you're interrupted by a beer it's for a good reason.
28. A beer is always satisfying.
29. A beer gets lighter the longer you hold it.
30. A beer won't tell you its pregnant for fun.
31. A beer does not come with in-laws.
32. No matter what the package, a beer still looks good.
33. To cool off a beer, all you have to do is put it in the ice box.
34. All you have to do to get over a beer is take a leak.
35. Beer doesn't complain about farting.
36. The only thing a beer tells you is when its time to go to the bathroom.
37. You are never embarrassed about the beer you bring to a party.
38. Its okay to leave a party with a different beer than the one you brought.
39. Beer won't drive you to drink.
40. You can shoot a beer.
41. A beer chaser is easier to catch.
42. You don't need a license to live with a beer.
43. A tree is good enough for a beer.
44. Beer doesn't grow hair where it shouldn't.
45. Beer doesn't care how much you earn.
46. Beer and "ice" don't mix.
47. Beer won't complain about your choice of vacation--it goes along happily.
48. Beer doesn't care if you go to sleep right after you've had it.
49. Beer is happy to ride in the trunk of your car.
50. You never have to promise to respect a beer in the morning.
1. You can enjoy a beer all night long.
2. Beer stains wash out.
3. You don't have to wine and dine beer.
4. A beer will wait in the car while you go and play football.
5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.
6. Beer is never late.
7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
8. Hangovers go away.
9. Beer labels come off without a fight.
10. When you go to a bar, you can always pick up a beer.
11. Beer never has a headache.
12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.
13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer.
14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.
15. A beer goes down easy.
16. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.
17. You can share a beer with your friends.
18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.
19. Beer is always wet.
20. Beer doesn't demand equality.
21. You can have a beer in public.
22. A beer doesn't care when you come.
23. A frigid beer is a good beer.
24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
25. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
26. You can't catch social diseases from a beer.
27. When you're interrupted by a beer it's for a good reason.
28. A beer is always satisfying.
29. A beer gets lighter the longer you hold it.
30. A beer won't tell you its pregnant for fun.
31. A beer does not come with in-laws.
32. No matter what the package, a beer still looks good.
33. To cool off a beer, all you have to do is put it in the ice box.
34. All you have to do to get over a beer is take a leak.
35. Beer doesn't complain about farting.
36. The only thing a beer tells you is when its time to go to the bathroom.
37. You are never embarrassed about the beer you bring to a party.
38. Its okay to leave a party with a different beer than the one you brought.
39. Beer won't drive you to drink.
40. You can shoot a beer.
41. A beer chaser is easier to catch.
42. You don't need a license to live with a beer.
43. A tree is good enough for a beer.
44. Beer doesn't grow hair where it shouldn't.
45. Beer doesn't care how much you earn.
46. Beer and "ice" don't mix.
47. Beer won't complain about your choice of vacation--it goes along happily.
48. Beer doesn't care if you go to sleep right after you've had it.
49. Beer is happy to ride in the trunk of your car.
50. You never have to promise to respect a beer in the morning.
Joined
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13 Posts
This is the fourth guitar contest I've entered in the last eight or so months:
$10 for a Cashcaster ( Johnny Cash tribute Telecaster )
$20 for another Telecaster
$20 for last Jemsite contest
$25 for this Jemsite contest.
Each time I really felt like I was going to win .
So that's $75 gone down the tubes with nothing to show for it.
Or is it?
All the proceeds from the Cashcaster went to a children's charity.
All the proceeds from the Telecaster went to support a guitar forum.
The last Jemsite contest awarded a Jem to one who had none.
And this contest will finally give one to...
Good luck everybody!
$10 for a Cashcaster ( Johnny Cash tribute Telecaster )
$20 for another Telecaster
$20 for last Jemsite contest
$25 for this Jemsite contest.
Each time I really felt like I was going to win .
So that's $75 gone down the tubes with nothing to show for it.
Or is it?
All the proceeds from the Cashcaster went to a children's charity.
All the proceeds from the Telecaster went to support a guitar forum.
The last Jemsite contest awarded a Jem to one who had none.
And this contest will finally give one to...
Good luck everybody!
Joined
·
1,273 Posts
..And then the great Vai appeared in his TALLEST pimphat and said unto thee, yall Biznatches play yo geetar and observe the codes of GIGMASSIV. 1. after the show it’s the.. AFTERPARTY. 2. after the party it’s the.. HOTEL LOBBY, 3. Round about 4 ya gotta …CLEAR THE LOBBY, 4. then take it to yo room and freak wit somebody.
The message was clear as Van halen is the undead.
Chapter 2: ….Thong th th thong thong thong..
Then Vai’s pimphat began to tremble and shake the earth, and the melodies were heard.
“go the distance, go for SPEEEEED, race and pace and plot the course, bite and fight and ride on your horse, go the distance…. Go for SPEEEEEED.. then make yo milkshake bring all the pimps to the yard, and they like Dayum, them wheels be RARRR.. You’re like, nah bra, but see teh chicks in the car? I can teach you, but I be chargin.
FINE
------------------------------------------------------
-Ki swordsman
The message was clear as Van halen is the undead.
Chapter 2: ….Thong th th thong thong thong..
Then Vai’s pimphat began to tremble and shake the earth, and the melodies were heard.
“go the distance, go for SPEEEEED, race and pace and plot the course, bite and fight and ride on your horse, go the distance…. Go for SPEEEEEED.. then make yo milkshake bring all the pimps to the yard, and they like Dayum, them wheels be RARRR.. You’re like, nah bra, but see teh chicks in the car? I can teach you, but I be chargin.
FINE
------------------------------------------------------
-Ki swordsman
A Power Plant mechanic
My day starts around 4:30 am .(EST, for our mates across the pond
Get out of bed , shower , shave, get dressed , and start driving to work .
Its 65 miles to the plant .Usually an uneventful ride, but i did get a speeding ticket
last Monday , so that sucked!!!
On the way ,stop at Dunkin Donuts and get a bagel and coffee.
Mmmmmmmmmmmm, bagels. . . . . . . . . . . . where was i ?!? oh yeah , on my way to work.
Arrive at the plant and have my bagel and coffee .
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm , bagels . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sorry lost my place again.
Sit around for an hour or so talking about what we are going to do for the day. Then take a ride around the plant
and talk some more ( tailgate discussion kinda thing ). That usually takes us until break time
to get the chores of the day worked out . Take break . Ahhhhh more food . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Damn , i hate when that happens! I must have "T A F D" ( thinking about food disorder ) LOL!!!
Work until lunch , yes we do actually work here.;o)
That’s all for now, too many words
BillK62
My day starts around 4:30 am .(EST, for our mates across the pond
Get out of bed , shower , shave, get dressed , and start driving to work .
Its 65 miles to the plant .Usually an uneventful ride, but i did get a speeding ticket
last Monday , so that sucked!!!
On the way ,stop at Dunkin Donuts and get a bagel and coffee.
Mmmmmmmmmmmm, bagels. . . . . . . . . . . . where was i ?!? oh yeah , on my way to work.
Arrive at the plant and have my bagel and coffee .
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm , bagels . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sorry lost my place again.
Sit around for an hour or so talking about what we are going to do for the day. Then take a ride around the plant
and talk some more ( tailgate discussion kinda thing ). That usually takes us until break time
to get the chores of the day worked out . Take break . Ahhhhh more food . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Damn , i hate when that happens! I must have "T A F D" ( thinking about food disorder ) LOL!!!
Work until lunch , yes we do actually work here.;o)
That’s all for now, too many words
BillK62
"Addicted to Jems" (To the tune of "Addicted to Love".) --Jason
Your amp is on, and you're alone.
Your tone, is not your own.
Don't want, those Chinese fakes.
Another Jem, is what it takes.
You can't tap, You can't sweep.
There's not doubt, You're in deep.
Your playin' tight, you can't relax.
You've got to get, another axe.
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the Jem, oh
yeah.
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough, you
know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to Jems.
Might as well face it, you're addicted to Jems
Might as well face it, you're addicted to Jems
Might as well face it, you're addicted to Jems
DSY, a VBK.
Jem 10th, a DNA.
A 7V, with fancy vine.
Any Jem, would be just fine.
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the Jem, oh
yeah.
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough, you
know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to Jems.
Might as well face it, you're addicted to Jems
Might as well face it, you're addicted to Jems
Might as well face it, you're addicted to Jems
Might as well face it, you're addicted to Jems
Might as well face it, you're addicted to Jems
Your amp is on, and you're alone.
Your tone, is not your own.
Don't want, those Chinese fakes.
Another Jem, is what it takes.
You can't tap, You can't sweep.
There's not doubt, You're in deep.
Your playin' tight, you can't relax.
You've got to get, another axe.
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the Jem, oh
yeah.
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough, you
know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to Jems.
Might as well face it, you're addicted to Jems
Might as well face it, you're addicted to Jems
Might as well face it, you're addicted to Jems
DSY, a VBK.
Jem 10th, a DNA.
A 7V, with fancy vine.
Any Jem, would be just fine.
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the Jem, oh
yeah.
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough, you
know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to Jems.
Might as well face it, you're addicted to Jems
Might as well face it, you're addicted to Jems
Might as well face it, you're addicted to Jems
Might as well face it, you're addicted to Jems
Might as well face it, you're addicted to Jems
Joined
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13 Posts
phew..kennydoe said:i was just kidding about being disqualified
But i don't want people to use this thread as a place to C&P funny stuff they find on the 'net. I'd love to see what people really have coming out of their creative side. That's just my opinion.
~K
ok ill make a new one then just need some time to think of something,
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13 Posts
hehe that one I got to read brofettouhi said:
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