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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My bass player, and supposed best friend, of twelve years just quit the band. I can't just replace him, because it'll never be the same. We were a power trio, in the style of King's X and Rush, blended with a bit of a George Lynch feel. Melodic hard rock with brains. Well, not a LOT of brains, but... :lol:

I just feel like quitting, and getting out of this big stupid game. I'm sick of having to play showcases with Screamo/Emo bands, that scream at the top of their lungs about how their Mommy didn't love them, or some such garbage. Actually, I'm pretty sick of "singers" that don't actually SING. I'm sick of trendy fake arseholes, that change their style as often as I change my underwear, just so they can stay hip.(I'd rather fail doing what I love) I'm sick of club owners ripping me off. I'm sick of bandmates girlfriends. I'm sick of being at a ROCK show, and being the only guy with long hair(WTF?!). I'm sick of being the only member of the band that actually takes care of business. I'm sick of certain dishonest people who steal the bands money because they are too lazy to get an EFFING JOB, and claim that they don't know what happened to it, or it was put in the gas tank when I KNOW it wasn't. If I could have just caught him in the act...

Basically, I'm fed the F up with it ALL. I don't even feel like looking at my guitar right now.

You know what though? It's in my blood, and I can't quit. My wife would kill me, anyway. She knows that I'm a miserable SOB, when I'm not out there. Hell, I don't even know how to do anything else. I don't even know how to change the oil in my own freaking car! My whole life has been about one thing, and that's music. (Well, okay, I do like curvy girls big boobies, too :D )

Hell, if anyone is from/around the Youngstown/Warren Ohio area, I need a bass player, and I'd like to find a good lead singer, to take some of the pressure off of me. I need some fresh blood to feed off of. There's something I forgot to put on my "things I'm sick of" list- I'm sick of playing with uninspired, creatively dead "musicians"(or at least they think they're musicians).

Sorry for the long post, but I needed to vent a little. I get to go cut things up with a chainsaw when I get home, so maybe that'll be therapeutic. :lol:

UGH!
 

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That's awesome... I have to say though, change is good.

This might all seem like a total waste, but you can learn something from everything. The key is to not let it all break you. Life is serious EFFED UP a lot of the time, but you have to live with it. What else can you do?

Don't give up, ESPECIALLY on what you love.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Well, awesome isn't the first word I would have thought of... :lol:

I know what you mean, though, and you're right. At least I'm trying to believe it. I've just had my entire music career with him as my partner. It's going to be really weird without him. Oh well, crying gets you nowhere, so I'll just move on.

I'm a little scarred off not being able to find other like minded musicians in my area, though. I'm a HUGE 80's rock freak, and well, that's just NOT cool. It seems like everyone around hear is into Nu-Metal, or whatever the "flavor of the month" or "music for people who don't like music" (as I call it) thing is.

I am desperate for a REAL singer. A tenor. I don't want some Scott Stapp wannabe jackass. No growlers either. An effing SINGER. WTF happened to SINGING? Having a range, and belting it out? Seriously. WTF? It's just a pathetic scene around here, when it comes to finding musicians. I wouldn't be so down, if it wasn't.

I can't just pack up and move, because I'm married, and have a mortgage. I'm kinda screwed, it seems.

(Gosh, I'm being really hard on some stuff right now! I'm sorry if I offend anyone. I've just GOT to get it all out.)

Maybe I'll feel better in a couple of days, after the initial sting wears off. I've just worked so freaking hard on this band, and to have all pulled out from under me all of the sudden isn't easy.

Sorry again. It's either vent online, or punch something. I don't usually get like this, but this is really hard. It feels like I just got dumped by a girl, really. A long relationship is over.
 

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That pretty much sucks man. I feel your pain. My current bands only been working for 1 1/2 years writing and rehersing, yet to do a real gig outside of my backyard, but I would not want that happening.

Good luck with your future endevours, and don't lose the music. I lost it for a few years and I realised my life sucked during that period. I may not be as skillful on the guitar now, but at least I have experiences to write and sing about.

Keep rocking, you'll move on, and you now have some more material to use to write songs!
 

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I had that exact same breakdown about 13 years ago. I feel your pain, bro. I even went so far as to sell all my gear. Every guitar (about 5 IBZ's), every amp (twin Marshall tube 100W stacks), all my PA, everything. I was freaking sick of the whole scene, and especially other musicians. Enough was enough. Fortunately, the time off gave me the opportunity to focus on my family and a different career path. I firmly believe that I'm FAR better off than I would have been if I'd stuck to music professionally. Out of all the guys in my scene that I knew, there's only ONE who really made it pro (Greg Upchurch of Puddle of Mud). There were a few that ALMOST made it, but not really. Many are still around, playing cover gigs in bars, or doing session work locally, teaching, living paycheck to paycheck. What sucks is, some of these guys are INCREDIBLE players. They should be on some huge stage today instead of some of the hacks that are big today, but that's life. For me, I make really good money doing something ELSE I really enjoy, and now I can afford to buy all that killer gear I really wanted back then. Tell you what, though. I really miss playing with a band. Or at least, I think I do. I think I'm actually getting more intolerant as I get older. I'd probably only make it through one practice before I punched somebody for being an idiot. OK, maybe I just I miss playing on stage with a band when things are going really well. Other than that, I'm happy just collecting gear and writing my own stuff and doing a little recording on my PC. I have my life, and I get as much music as I want, on my terms.

If you've had enough, find something else that makes you happy. Don't give up on music, just reprioritize. If you can't live without playing in a band, then quit worrying about it and get your ass back out there. Good luck either way!
 

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i know exactly how you feel. i quit my band last night, and i feel ****, but at least it'll stop all the crappy stress. plus, music just wasnt that fun to play anymore. sad.
 

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I feel your pain brother.

I really just don't bother with bands anymore.

Although I have felt the urge to get out there again rising recently, everytime my memory is drawn back to the "I don't want to play original music, I want to be a Metallica/Iron Maiden/Whatever covers band" argument I have had so many times, I just shudder.

My bands have only ever lasted for a year or so, but it seems that just as you are getting a tight sound a key member quits, and then no-one else wants to bother anymore, or someones girlfriend gets jealous, and you have the horrible (and ultimately destructive) "I want whatshername to play keyboards" discussion.

Some of the best fun I have had musically is when I have stood in for one of my brother's bands at any given time. Usually it's two days to learn 10 songs, and just don't get too drunk before the gig. No stress, no emotional attachment to the band, or the songs, just Rock and Roll. Isn't that why we all do it anyway (apart from getting the chicks)?

Let's all just remember that we need to keep the faith, and that we are not alone, Jemsite has taught us that much.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thanks for the supposrt, guys!

And don't get me wrong, I don't really care about the length of anyone's hair. :lol: I think you know what I meant, though.

Here's a funny, stupid story: We went to see Motley Crue, and I had to take a leak. So, I walk into the bathroom. A group of jocks(UGH!) come walking in, and say "I didn't know this was the ladies room", and proceed to give me crap. Think about how freaking stupid that is. They came to see the Kings of hair metal(as much as I HATE that label), and they're giving a guy crap for having long hair. Oh well, you can't expect much sense from a dumbass jock, anyway. ;) (Yes, I know not everyone that plays sports is a moron...)
 

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if this helps, same happens in Spain... and I'm the only one with long hair as well..

Patience Bro, it's just a matter of time. You'll find a new bassist, probably better than your old best friend.

KEEP ROCKIN'!!!
 

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Same just happened to me man.....my long time friend / guitarist got in some trouble a couple years back (I wont go into that) ......so....I wait two freakin years for him to get out of Jail....all he does is write letters to me telling me..."Dont replace me man" When I get out we are goin full steam again. I never intended on replacing him...I CANT because we grew up together, learned together wrote 100's of sweet (IMHO) very complex songs together. I even bought him a new RG for his coming home present (so he wouldn't have to play one of my Jems..heehee) Anyhow....we had just started rocking again and I thought we were really gonna go. Two days ago her tells me he got a night job because he got too used to sleeping in jail and can't get up in the morning to go to work. Rest of band works days....he works nights.....now I have no guitarist. His effing priority is sleeping over Jaming. I feel like a fool...this totally f'n suckls and just makes me want to give it up! I hear ya whatshisname.....this SUCKS~~~ Any available stylish metal guitarists out there in CO?????


ps - Hey...gimme that axe back...grrrrr!!!!
 

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jimmyfingersminion said:
i know exactly how you feel. i quit my band last night, and i feel ****, but at least it'll stop all the crappy stress. plus, music just wasnt that fun to play anymore. sad.
EXACTLY why I don't join a band, or even play in front of other people. I'd like to keep it to myself, because playing is fun that way.
 

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i hear all of ya!!! that's why i retired....damn....in 1996!! AHHHH. can't believe it's been that long. all of whatshisname said....goes for me as well and there were others on that list too!! i got beyond BEYOND fedup. i wrote the tunes, fronted money for the studio, contacted bar owners, dup'd the tapes we recorded, put up the fliers.....i did it all man! i did it cuz i loved it but then i got fedup! i got so fedup that i exploded after 2 years with them. i left and they tried to replace me with the singers weed dealer. what a joke...the guy never played guitar in his life...they lasted a month and disbanded. one thing led to another and i got more involved in my other love, video and audio production. started up a production co. which i still have. i went through A LOT of pain and mind-screwing stuff......i played hours a day in my room and now nothing! NOTHING! i felt like it ruined my life and that someone owed me. and i get emails from people asking when i'm playing out and new fans that find me on the web, etc. i respond but don't think much of it. i just sit in my chair sipping coffee thinking maybe i should do something again.......dismissing that thought just as it enters my mind.

i'm happy recording on my own here and there and playing for fun when i want to. i think i miss it but i really love my weekends for sleeping in and having nice breakfasts with my fiance and going for jogs and bikerides and doing whatever the hell i want when i want.

but...... i just found a singer who is totally cool and is phenominal. he has the same issues i had and he quit for years also. my best friend is a drummer with another band now but we are all 3 thinking of starting. i took 9 years off! 9 YEARS! i can't believe it was that long. it hurt every month and there wasn't a day that went by that i didn't think of guitar but i couldn't do it. i got burned too many times and really fedup.

so i think i will try again. all of us are going into it as "let's do this for fun" type of deal. and they are all like me.....they all did all the work in their last bands and fronted all the money, etc. so we are equals.......where were these guys 10 years ago!

i used to have really long hair. i did cut it.........working downtown with the CEO and CFO supporting their network you have to look proper. WHATEVER. i hate working for the man but it pays my mortgage and i still have my guitars.

sorry for the long post. whatshisname....... email me man if you want. good luck!

steve
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Yeah, see that's pretty much what I did. EVERYTHING. I wrote most of the songs, did all of the promotion, a good deal of the website, booked the shows, ect... And while my drummer is at least cool to hang ot with, this little f***er was always either fighting with his shebeast, or they were sucking each others faces off, as if anyone wants to see that.

He doesn't even take his bass home. It sits at my house. I made a couple of cracks, that maybe I would be as good as him, if I didn't touch my instrument unless we were on stage. He said "Hey, I'm every bit as good as you are." In all seriousness! I took that as a huge insult, since I've put in endless hours to be as bad as I am. :lol: So, I said, then that must mean I suck!

He wouldn't even help pay for the website. I paid for it. He went to ITT for computor networking, and his ego couldn't handle that someone ELSE built the site, because he thought that HE was the computor guy. Gosh, maybe if he would have built the site he SAID he was going to build, then someone else wouldn't have had to do it!

Yeah, I also provide the rehearsal space, in my home. I don't have that big of a house, but we set up upstairs.

I've missed funerals, weddings, you name it. Lets just say that I've probably pissed off a lot of people, because I am dedicated to my music. THIS dildo thinks that he's made sacrifices... He thought that he was working his ass off, when we were only playing a few shows every couple of months. Thought it was real hard work. He'd walk around like he was a freaking rockstar. No matter how high of a pedestal a fan would try to put me on, I never EVER let anything go to my head. I am just happy to see someone smile, because my songs moved them. It's an honor for ME, to have someone give something back. HE however was in need of a roadcrew, for his inflated head.

Ya know, the more I think about it, the more I realize that I should have told him to piss off a LONG time ago. I'm finally letting a lot of my frustration out, from things that I tried to just let go for SO long. Sorry for my long rambling posts...
 

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It's good to vent. Let it out. But let it ALL out, and don't let it turn to bitterness. Just move on, and keep your faith.

Where in Ohio do you live, BTW?
 

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I was kicked out of my band without even being told. I just showed up to hang out and there was the new drummer. How's that for a kick in the balls?
 
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